Heaven or Hell ? .... Explained by a chemistry student.

The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry mid term.

The answer by one student was so "profound" that the professor shared it with colleagues, which is why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well:

Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.



One student, however, wrote the following:

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we Need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at
which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for
how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today.

Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these
religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are,
we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially.

Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay
the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.



This gives two possibilities:

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.

2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.





So which is it?

If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, "It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you," and take
into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over.

The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore,
extinct.....leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God."

• Baby Wipes and Hand Cleansing Gel.
Baby wipes are the festival equivalent of
a bath and a far better option to the smelly
queue for the showers. While you’re getting
them, pick up some anti-bac hand gel that
doesn’t require soap and water.
• Condoms. If you want to avoid life-changing
conversations three months after the
festival when the special love you made is
but a lingering memory.
• Toothbrush & toothpaste. A dodgy set of
chops will make condoms totally redundant.
• Sun Block. The sun can turn a crowd into
a human barbecue, so bring plenty of sun
cream and keep lashing it on unless you like
being a human lobster.
• Tickets. You’d be surprised.
• Rain Poncho. Better than the glorified bin
liner they (sometimes) give out at the festival.
• Something Warm. You might be hot during
the day, but those nights can get pretty chilly.
• Wellies. Best for the mudpit that even a light
shower will turn the arena into.
Flip flops are just flops when it’s raining.
• Socks. Bring plenty. Wet feet are crap.
• Sun Hat. Sunstroke is like a really bad
hangover and the worst flu you’ll ever get...
at the same time. Anything’ll do. (Except for
a jester’s hat, which will just look stupid.)
• Exhaustion. Ever sat behind the wheel
in slow-moving traffic after three days of
camping, gigging and partying? It’s not
nearly as much fun as it sounds. Our best
advice is don’t bother and rely on public
transport.
• Behind the Wheel. If you’re used to a car,
then a busy road isn’t the best place to try
driving a campervan for the first time.
Get some practice first!
• Breath-Testing. Random tests are
commonplace along the festival routes;
failing one isn’t really a good way of
celebrating the weekend.
• The morning after the night before.
Even if you feel fine to drive the following
day, you may still be over the legal limit
and could get a €5,000 fine or a 6 month
sentence (or you could be liable to both).
Your body gets rid of alcohol at the average
rate of one standard drink – that’s half a
pint or a glass of wine or a shot – per hour.
Every mobile has a calculator, so do
the maths.
Festival food is priced along the ‘we-can-chargewhat-
we-want’ principle. Although some boutique
festivals are all about organic salads and tofu wraps,
most of the food you’ll find elsewhere is greasy,
deep-fried or both.
• Dry Foods. Better something that won’t go off,
get mushy or grow green stuff; so no meats,
bananas or cheese.
• Water. Bring as much of it as you can.
Alcohol will seriously dehydrate you and
even a clouded sun will make it worse.
Drink at least one litre per day. There are
plenty of top-up taps, but do so at night
– the morning queues are horrendous.
• No Glass. The amount of liquids confiscated
at the gates could quench the thirst of a small
town. Bring plastic containers and bottles.
• Pace Yourself. Drink water or a soft drink
every few drinks. You will feel better, look
better and have a better chance of lasting
the course!
• Eat Something. Nothing will make drinking
a disaster more than an empty stomach.
Eat before you drink.
• Wrecked? Getting pissed isn’t pretty or
smart. You’ll just wreck the weekend for
your mates if they have to look after you
when you’re the worse for wear. Remember:
over-doing it will do nothing for your looks
either – you’re drop-dead gorgeous until you
drop down drunk.
• Hair of the Dog. It won’t beat your hangover,
it just prolongs the agony.
• The Secret to Sobering Up? Time. Yeah,
time! Whether sitting in a tent or standing
in a field, it’ll take roughly two hours for
your body to break down one pint of booze.
Nothing – not tea, energy drinks, burgers
and chips or an ice cold shower – can speed
up this process.
• Beer Goggles. Want a weekend to regret?
Then let the booze do the chatting up for you.
• No Strange Mixers