Tommy Barr:"I Wont Start The Fight But I Will End It!"
Peter:"Are You Cereal"
Barber:"David Grant, David Grant Sometimes He Can Sometimes He Cant"
John Dude:"She Has Lovely Eyes,And By Eyes I Mean Rack"
Paul Duke:"Aye The Bone In Your Cock...The Shaft Bone"
Barber:?(To Women Jogging)"What Are You Running From....Ill Tell You What Your Running From Middle Age!"
Turkey:"Why Am I Always The Gay One?"
Higgy:"Letterkenny Blaze!"
Higgy:"AYE BUT DO YOU KNOW WHY ITS CALLED A BLACK BELT?"
Niall:"TAYLOR MADE BA-BY!"
Mrs Mc Guiness:"Up For The Casual Shag Behind A Prefab"
Catherine:"Hi Paul Where's The Boys?" Paul:"Not So Bad Yourself?"
Ryan Doherty:"Jokes On You My Nose Already Bled Once Today!"
JFK(To Turkey):"You Have A Gay Face"Turkey(To JFK):"Well You Have Sonny Quinn Puberty!"
Barber:"Is There More Asians In The World Than There Is Real People?"
Jordan:"South Ma!
Turkey:"I'm Sick Of Your Fuckin' Shit"
Peter:"Kick Kevin Really Hard In The Nuts"
John Dude:"Move The Pen Turkey"
Niall:"Don't Worry It'll All Be Over Soon(While Raping Turkey)"
John Dude:"JOHN DUUUUUUUUUUUDE"
Turkey:"Your Not Supposed To Bully Me!"
Jordan:"What Happened To You Was Your Father A Tree....Nah Wait!..."
Turkey:"John Mc Daid Got The Ride."
Quinn:"Would It Be Crazy If..."
Turkey:"When You Close Your Eyes Do You Think The World Disappears?"
Higgy:"Yeah I Weigh 12 Stone...11 Of That's Pure Muscle"
Quinn:"What Have I Done?!?"
Shaun Mc Daid:"BAAAAAAAA!"
Aaron Bradley:"Time Bending Timlin!"
Turkey:"Leave Me Alone Or I'll Get Angry!"
Jordan:"Look Even Barber's Da Came To See You Off!"Jaime(While Laughing):He Looks So Funny!"
Niall:"So Where About In Canada Are You From?" Jordan:"What?! They're From Fucking Carn Niall?"
John Dude or Aaron:"We are on the Rag......Week"

Weird Running Guy:Is he really mentally handicapped or is he just trying to beat his record of getting home.


Those Joggers:Yea those joggers that you always see out running with a look of sheer determination on their face i mean whatever their running from has gotta be scary.


People Who Park Their Cars in Car Parks At Night:Why do people sit in their cars at night in a car park,Park next to each other and talk about things most normal mortals could not even comprehend,but what the mystery is ... wat do they talk about that could not be discussed at daytime or on foot?


Cathal Davis:What is cathal davis?Is he an alien scientist come to take over the world or is he simply a bum that no one can understand and i certainly dont know.


Whatever Happened To Hairy Gerry:Playing sports at lunchtime and breaktime was commonplace and fun then one crisp morning the children of scoil mhuire woke finding that hairy gerry had gone and took his keys,where he went nobody knows,how he could afford keys is another question altogether.


Why Did Women Get The Vote:Women,as we all know now have the right to vote...but is a "Step Forward" against gender inequalities really a good thing? I mean Mary Robinson? Mary mc aleese? Do women think they are "President Material" Like are these Irelands equivilant to Operah?Which raises another point , why hasnt Operah ran for president,well actually that can be answered in two words,black fat.


Gingers Part 1:Why...of all places,do gingers come from Ireland,does god hate us that much.Gingers are like Irelands answer to the black death , nobody wants it around and you'd rather kill yourself than live with it.


Breedge Moyne:Walking is something everybody does (Except those wheelchair bound or as i call them scourges of society)but breedge moyne has adopted and mastered a style of walkin completed by no other(especially those cripples) yes breedge moyne walks with her fanny first,its not pretty nor is it good for you how is it done .... well i just dont know.


Fallout Boy's Singer:Fallout Boy's singer just mumbles in a rhyme and gets away with it,in that song sugar were goin down he cleary states "We're Going Down Down shubedududuwa and sugar were going down swinging..its like kasabian giving words seven extra syllables to make their songs rhyme"


Brendan Barber:Some say brendan barber was brought to this earth on a spaceship like superman,others say it was just martin and miriam getting horny in an armchair.Legend says he could nutmeg a flange tight as a tightly packed kebab others say thats a lie and i should stop watchin porn but they are truly fools.Anyway we may never know brendans real orogins but we do know that brendans weakness is being out bassed in a bassing championship final by a blind gay wheelchair bound smack addicted muslim.


Horatio Caine:Horatio,from CSI:Miami.Is it possible for one man to be that cool?Not just an ordinary man mind you , a ginger.Yes he is of irish descent ,this must be where god cut the irish some slack.He probably though"I gave those irish a pretty hard time with the plantations gingers and troubles an all,why not make a ginger who is just so darn cool" and thus horatio was born so in heinsight thats not a mystery.I just like horatio that much.


Tony Flood:Many of our recent subjects have been surrounded by mystery
but none so much as the legend of Tony Flood. Tony wanders the school an outcast from the Paddys, looked down upon by the teaching staff, even the rednecks wonder how his life entered this spiral of dispair,well maybe not the rednecks. But some think Tony just wasn't meant for this earth,others think he was a German spy who just didn't realise the war ended as in my opinion i fear we will never know the chilling truth...

Why Does It Always Rain On Me:Enough Said.

ill add more soon when they reveal themselves from the sha