Chuck Norris can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves

Chuck Norris once ate three 72 oz. steaks in one hour. He spent the first 45 minutes having sex with his waitress.

What was going through the minds of all of Chuck Norris' victims before they died? His shoe.

Chuck Norris is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis

Chuck Norris doesn't churn butter. He roundhouse kicks the cows and the butter comes straight out.

If you spell Chuck Norris in Scrabble, you win. Forever.

Chuck Norris once shot down a German fighter plane with his finger, by yelling, "Bang!"

Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse... horses are hung like Chuck Norris

Chuck Norris does not teabag the ladies. He potato-sacks them.

Chuck Norris once challenged Lance Armstrong in a "Who has more testicles?" contest. Chuck Norris won by 5.

Chuck Norris once ate a whole cake before his friends could tell him there was a stripper in it.

When Chuck Norris falls in water, Chuck Norris doesn't get wet. Water gets Chuck Norris.

When Chuck Norris has sex with a man, it won't be because he is gay. It will be because he has run out of women.

Chuck Norris CAN believe it's not butter.

It takes Chuck Norris 20 minutes to watch 60 Minutes of television.

Chuck Norris can touch MC Hammer.

Chuck Norris recently had the idea to sell his piss as a canned beverage. We know this beverage as Red Bull.

chinese jokes
not right.........Sum Ting Wong

See me asap...........Kum Hia Nao

Stupid man.........Dum Fuk

Small horse.......Tai Ni Po Ni

I bumped into the coffee table.......Ai Bang Mai Fa Kin Ni

I thought you were on a diet......Wai Yu Mun Chin

I think you need a face lift.....Chin Tu Fat

Its very dark in here.......Wai So Dim?

This is a toe away zone......No Pah Kin

Staying out of sight.......Lei Ying Lo

He's cleaning my automobile.....Wa Shin Ka

You have B.O......Yu Stin Ki Pu

Great.....Fa Kin Su Pa !!!!!