Sitting by the phone...waiting, to be exact. This moment seems to be the peak. Seems to be the day. Just like every other day, he sits there waiting. To what extent he truly believes that she will call, that is a mystery. Yet, he says that she will call everyday. Repeating it to himself. He holds to this modest sense, this sense that he is the reason she left. That he is the reason everyone has left. He is wrong, but to admit that he would, essentially, be admitting that everyone he knew was nothing to him anymore. Believing that would be the hardest battle he had ever fought, but it would make his life easier. But when, when would he be able to accomplish this? No one, not even him, could ever understand that. But, you see, this is way to far into the interesting, the incredible story of this man. Now, if you will, let me take you back to the beginning.

Los Angeles, California. 1983.

A young boy, Oliver Jackson French, was born this day at 7 pounds, 6 ounces.

Los Angeles, California. 1997

A young 14 yr. old boy was found in a back alley, near to death, from what seemed to be a fight with several people. Police later discovered it was over a girl, supposedly the girl of Oliver's dreams for atleast 3 years. He had talked to her, revealed his true feelings. She had led him on, just to be his initial down fall, leading him to be beaten by her boyfriend, future serial killer Jonathan Mullens. This lead young Oliver into a series of events just the same, trying harder than anything to acquire the girl he wanted the most, never the girl who wanted him. Never the easiest girls, but the most challenging girls. He was, in essence, his own worst enemy. Never would he admit it to himself, but since he returned to California from living in Arizona with his mother and step-father, he would never be the same. Whilst in Arizona for the year and a half, he had undergone so much physical, mental, and emotional stress and scarring, when he came back at the age of 9 he was much older, much more mature then his age revealed. It was not until later in life that he truly opened up to anyone. And when he did, it was a mistake, for it only got him into more fights, more drama. More of what turned out to be his life. And this is his story...

*To Be Continued...

why don't you love me do you think your above me
do you think its okay to just push and shove me
i scream in your ears that I'm just not ready
you put this burden on my shoulders I'm telling you its just too heavy
now lets just stop, fall to the ground
be silent now, don't you dare make a sound
im not just some toy you can have tightly wound
im not just a stray dog, not something you found

but here we go....
were going so fast yet i don't want to slow
i'm so weak but i cant let it show
you're the only one i want but i just can't let you know
i feel like im such a shame
and im the only one to blame
because i can't see your smiling face
i feel like such a disgrace

how come i can't say your name without shedding a tear
its like i know its coming but its something i just have to hear
its the sudden release of all of my fears
that one day i'll leave and when i come back you wont be here

but come on lets not be sad
lets just reflect on what he had (x2, sad and had are held out on the repeation)

but here we go....
were going so fast yet i don't want to slow
i'm so weak but i cant let it show
you're the only one i want but i just can't let you know
i feel like im such a shame
and im the only one to blame
because i can't see your smiling face
i feel like such a disgrace

but come on lets not be sad
lets just reflect on what he had (x4, sad and had are held out on the 4th repeation)

and now we're done...

i hear a whisper in the wind
oh here it comes again
this place reeks of sin
but still i feel at home when...

i remember that day
that fateful day
the only thing i can say
memories...

too many people crowd me now
they came out of no where i don't know how
i only closed my eyes for a second
then it all got so hectic
all chaos broke loose
the world's theoretical noose


this isn't the storybook that i wanted to read
there was a warning that i just couldn't heed
it told me to keep my thoughts away from you
but that was just something i could not do
no matter the consequences i'll still remember this
somehow i want to re live that bliss
yes i will
i'll find a way
just to relive that day


i hear a whisper in the wind
oh here it comes again
this place reeks of sin
but still i feel at home when...

i remember that day
that fateful day
the only thing i can say
memories...

memories...