Why the women should love golfers
1) We always want to put it in the hole
2) We like to feel the stroke
3) We love going low
4) We know how to use stiff shafts
5) We love it when there’s pressure
6) We know how to pound it
7) We go two-somes, three-somes or four-somes
We have an extreme sense of touch
9) We can play anywhere, behind a tree, burried in the bunker or a flat lie on the grass. You name it!
10) We like to take out the big stick
11) We never leave until we finished the hole
12) We know how to use our hips
13) A 69 feels good
14) And last, but not least…We know how to get it up and down!

JINGLE BELLS JINGLE BELLS THE DARA BOYS ARE HERE, WE'RE TO FUCK YA WOMEN AND DRINK ALL YA FUCKIN BEER HEY, SO BRING OUT YA WOMEN, WE'LL PUT THEM TO THE TEST COZ WE'RE THE FUKIN DARA BOYS AND WE'RE THE FUKIN BEST!

left my heart to the sappers round Khe Sanh
And my soul was sold with my cigarettes to the blackmarket man
I've had the Vietnam cold turkey
From the ocean to the Silver City
And it's only other vets could understand

About the long forgotten dockside guarantees
How there were no V-dayheroes in 1973
How we sailed into Sydney Harbour
Saw an old friend but couldn't kiss her
She was lined, and I was home to the lucky land

And she was like so many more from that time on
Their lives were all so empty, till they found their chosen one
And their legs were often open
But their minds were always closed
And their hearts were held in fast suburban chains
And the legal pads were yellow, hours long, paypacket lean
And the telex writers clattered where the gunships once had been
But the car parks made me jumpy
And I never stopped the dreams
Or the growing need for speed and novacaine

So I worked across the country end to end
Tried to find a place to settle down, where my mixed up life could mend
Held a job on an oil-rig
Flying choppers when I could
But the nightlife nearly drove me round the bend

And I've travelled round the world from year to year
And each one found me aimless, one more year the more for wear
And I've been back to South East Asia
But the answer sure ain't there
But I'm drifting north, to check things out again

You know the last plane out of Sydney's almost gone
Only seven flying hours, and I'll be landing in Hong Kong
There ain't nothing like the kisses
From a jaded Chinese princess
I'm gonna hit some Hong Kong mattress all night long

Well the last plane out of Sydney's almost gone
Yeah the last plane out of Sydney's almost gone
And it's really got me worried
I'm goin' nowhere and I'm in a hurry
And the last plane out of Sydney's almost gone