PIck up the sock Judie! Pick up the sock! Pick up the sock! Oh sorry was that rude? Did my shouting dull the hideousness that is tonight!

Just go in there and like shave her head! You owe me one bald girl!

OH NOO!!! Oh MAJOR SHAMPOO EXPLOSION!!! Oh it's all over EVERYTHING!!

P is for Phoebe, H I for Heobe, O is for Obe, E is for Ebe, B is for Bebe, E is for...Ello Mate

See... he's her lobster!

The plane has no falangie!

It's what the Japanese call Unagi

I shall call him Squishy and he shall be mine. And he shall be my Squishy.

I shall call him Squishy and he shall be mine. And he shall be my Squishy.

I am for shizz up the spout

Your Breath Smells Like Marissa !

Yeah, but he's my first cousin.

l am so fricking pissed.

Its Chrissy Bitch

Oh no, two women love me, they're both gorgeous and sexy, my wallet's too small for my fifties, AND MY DIAMOND SHOES ARE TOO TIGHT!

[Rachel's Dad] So what's new with you Ross? Knocked up any more of my daughters? [Ross] Nope, just the one - RACHEL!!!!

Toot de la fruit

[Chandler] Now you stay out here and you think about what you've done! [Ross] That's a duck. [Chandler] That's a bad duck!

MY NAME'S NOT RICK!

Well isn't that just kick you in the crotch, spit on your neck fantastic?!?!

you jump, i jump.. right?

I write songs to Olivia, check it out... I see you in your window, but I'm standing on a tree outside

I write songs to Olivia, check it out... I see you in your window, but I'm standing on a tree outside

Oh my God. You want to talk about mothers? You wanna talk about mothers! It's mother time, okay! Your mother's so dumb she went to Dr Dre for a Pap smear! 'Something's wrong, Dr Dre! My coochie's doing a beatbox!'

Lilly Truscott: Look! I only held his hand because I wanted to borrow his crayons! It was the 64 pack, WITH THE SHARPENER!

I am so sorry... its a side effect of my raisin-and-ryvita diet!

[watching ?Cheaper by the Dozen? after taking mushrooms] This isn't funny. This guy's got twelve kids, that's not funny. That's a lot of responsibility to just be... laughing about. This is sick. This is a sick movie. I gotta turn this off. It's freaking me out

Hey Doc Howard, Ben Stone calling, guess what the fuck's up? Allison is going into labor and you are not fucking here, you know where you're at? You're at a fucking bar mitzvah in San Francisco you motherfucking piece of shit, and you know what I'm gonna have to do now? I'm going have to kill you, I'm gonna pop a fucking cap in your ass. You're dead, you're Tupac, you are fucking Biggie you piece of shit, I hope you fucking die or drop the chair and kill that fucking kid... I hope your plane crashes, peace fucker!

[BuckWheat] 'Quick! What's the number for 911?'
[Porky] 'How am I Supposed to know?!'

How about I get you a spoon so you can eat my ass!

Holy shit dude I found a dildo