Billy Connolly's 13 things I hate bout people:

1. People who point at their wrist while asking for the time....I know
where my watch is pal, where the fuck is yours? Do I point at my crotch
when I ask where the toilet is?

2. People who are willing to get off their arse to search the entire
room for the TV remote because they refuse to walk to the TV and change
the channel manually.

3. When people say "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too".
Fucking right! What good is a cake if you can't eat it?

4. When people say "it's always the last place you look". Of course it
is. Why the fuck would you keep looking after you've found it? Do people
do this? Who and where are they?

5. When people say while watching a film "did you see that?". No
tosser, I paid 10 quid to come to the cinema and stare at the fucking
floor.

6. People who ask "Can I ask you a question?. Didn't really give me a
choice there, did you sunshine?

7. When something is 'new and improved!'. Which is it? If it's new,
then there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement,
then there must have been something before it.

8. When people say "life is short". What the fuck?? Life is the longest
damn thing anyone ever fucking does!! What can you do that's longer?

9. When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks, "Has the bus come
yet?. If the bus came would I be standing here, Knob head?

10. People who say things like 'My eyes aren't what they used to be'. So
what did they used to be? ears, Wellington boots?

11. When you're eating something and someone asks 'Is that nice?' No
it's really revolting - I always eat stuff I hate.

12. People who announce they are going to the toilet. Thanks that's an
image I really didn't need.

13. McDonalds staff who pretend they don't understand you if you don't
insert the 'Mc' before the item you are ordering..... It has to be a
McChicken Burger, just a Chicken Burger gets blank looks. Well I'll have
a McStraw and jam it in your McEyes

No offence but... People are getting too fake on here. They only want pic comments, or to see how many friends they can get. So let's see who will actually repost this. This is a test to see who's paying attention. This is a test to see how many people in my friends list actually pay attention to me. Copy and repost in your own bulletin. Lets see who the true friends are and I think I know who you are... Repost this if you are a friend...Don't reply... just copy and paste this in a new bulletin as "Fake Friends"

1. You are at a bar or club and you suddenly realize you recognize someone. You can't figure out how and then it dawns on you... You have never met this person before, but have spent a considerable amount of time looking at their bebo.

2. After meeting someone your conversation somehow leads to - "So, are you on bebo?"

3. You do not call people anymore, you post comments and send messages through bebo

4. When talking about one of your friends you just refer to them as "sexysoandso" rather than their real name.

6. When you're out with friends and you take a good picture you exclaim loudly, "That's going on bebo!"

7. Conversations with friends tend to lead to, "Did you read that bulletin/comment/ or see that new picture 'Cuddlemaria' left?"

8. You check your bebo as soon as you wake up, and right before you go to bed, including the 10 times you check it during the day.

9. You start off intending to check if you have new messages/comments but
find AN HOUR LATER that you are still on and have no idea what you even accomplished during that time except stalk.

10. You didnt notice point 5!!!

11. You actually scrolled up to see if there was a point 5!!!

12. And now your laughing at yourself for being so stupid!!

13. You find yourself laughing (sadly) and agreeing as you read these, and you know you're going to repost this for everyone else to see.