1) The GAA player who played in front of 80,000 at the weekend will be teaching your children, selling you meat or fixing your drains on Monday morning. The soccer player who plays in front of 80,000 will be moaning about playing too many games and will be trying to sell you his personalised brand of leisure wear

2) GAA nicknames are better. Soccer players just add a Y to their surnames

3) Dublin vs Meath is a real derby. What does Utd. Vs City mean to Ronaldo or Sibierski

4) How many soccer players does it take to screw in a light bulb? Answer eleven. One to stick it in and ten to surround and kiss him after he does it

5) Soccer players go to the papers after a game. GAA players go to the pub


6) John Terry would run a mile if he came up against Francie Bellew


7) GAA teams are numbered 1-15. A soccer team reads like the lottery results

All soccer players wear shin pads. Some hurlers wear helmets

9) Television runs soccer. Schoolteachers run the GAA

10) The GAA is about where you're from. Soccer is about who you like

11) No segregation at GAA games

12) No soccer team has a nickname quite as lovely as the Fighting Cocks of Carlow

13) Bubble perms never made it to Croke Park

14) A scoreless draw in the GAA would be quite a novelty

15) Roman Abramovich can buy the League. You can't buy Sam!


16) Soccer players go to Rumours, GAA players go to the pub.

17) If a GAA player ever jumped at a spectator like Eric Cantona did, the rest of his team would join in. So would the rest of the crowd.

1 D. J. Carey in full flight.

19) Sky runs soccer. Schoolteachers run the GAA.

20) Jimmy Barry Murphy was the coolest skinhead ever to grace a playing field.

21) There's nothing like seeing the bonfires blazing when a winning team reaches home.

22) The GAA season always leaves you wanting more. The soccer season leaves soccer people demanding less. "Fewer games please".

23) GAA players run faster, hit harder and last longer. Nobody acts like a granade went off if they get tripped.

24) GAA teams are numbered one to fifteen, soccer team shirts read like the lotto results.

25) All soccer players wear shinguards. Some hurling players even wear helmets.

26) The GAA is about where you're from. English Premiership soccer is about who you like.

27) The GAA won't sell us all out by starting a European Superleague.

2 Old Soccer players get testimonials, old GAA players just slip down to Junior