Why we should never EVER go shopping with a man!!
Proof of what can happen if a wife or girlfriend drags her husband
or
boyfriend along shopping

This letter was recently sent by Tesco's Head Office to a customer in Oxford:

Dear Mrs. Murray,

While we thank you for your valued custom and use of the Tesco
Loyalty Card,
the Manager of our store in Banbury is considering banning you and
your
family from shopping with us, unless your husband stops his
antics.

Below is a list of offences over the past few months all verified
by
our surveillance cameras:

1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's
trolleys when they weren't looking.

2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to feminine products aisle.

4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official
tone,
"Code 3" in housewares..... and watched what happened.

5. August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted
area.

6. September 15: Set up a tent in the outdoor clothing department
and
told shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring sausages and
a Calor gas stove.

7. September 23: When the Deputy Manager asked if she could help
him,
he began to cry and asked, "Why can't you people just leave me
alone?"

8. October 4: Looked right into the security camera; used it as a mirror, picked his nose, and ate it.

9. November 10: While appearing to be choosing kitchen knives in
the Housewares aisle asked an assistant if he knew where the
antidepressants were.

10. December 3: Darted around the store suspiciously, loudly
humming
the "Mission Impossible" theme.

11. December 6: In the kitchenware aisle, practised the "Madonna
look" using different size funnels.

12. December 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed,
yelled "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"

13. December 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker,
assumed the foetal position and screamed "NO! NO! It's those voices
again."

And; last, but not least:

14. December 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited a
while; then yelled, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in
here."

My name is Chris

I am three,

My eyes are swollen

I cannot see,

I must be stupid

I must be bad,

What else could have made

My daddy so mad?

I wish I were better

I wish I weren't ugly,

Then maybe my mommy

Would still want to hug me.

I can't do a wrong

I can't speak at all

Or else im locked up

All day long.

When im awake im all alone

The house is dark

My folks aren't home

When my mommy does come home

I'll try and be nice,

So maybe i'll just get

One whipping tonight.

I just heard a car

My daddy is back

From Charlie's bar.

I hear him curse

My name is called

I press myself

Against the wall

I try to hide

From his evil eyes

I'm so afraid now

I'm starting to cry

He finds me weeping

Calls me ugly words,

He says its my fault

He suffers at work.

He slaps and hits me

And yells at me more,

I finally get free

And run to the door

He's already locked it

And i start to bawl,

He takes me and throws me

Against the hard wall

I fall to the floor

With my bones nearly broken,

And my daddy continues

With more bad words spoken,

"I'm sorry!", I scream

But its now much to late

His face has been twisted

Into a unimaginable shape

The hurt and the pain

Again and again

O please God, have mercy!

O please let it end!

And he finally stops

And heads for the door

While i lay there motionless

Brawled on the floor

My name is chris

I am three,

Tonight my daddy

Murdered me