I doubt that I will survive this coming year. The woman I once loved, the woman who was and is still my best friend, the woman who I now consider a sister, no longer wants me around, because I cannot understand the pain she's been through.

And while I man not understand every nuance of what she's felt, she doesn't know how much pain i've been through either.

I, have been set on fire, literally, by my own brother. He blamed me when he set our home on fire. Every friend I have ever had, ended up betraying me, treating me like crap.

Nobody cares about me, nobody has ever cared about me.

All I feel is the pain of being alone, and knowing, that unlike her, I don't have someone who wants me, I don't have someone who loves me, she is sad, cause she can't hold her love in her arms because he lives in another state. I am sad, because I don't expect I shall ever have anyone, and without somebody to love me, life, doesn't seem worth living.

My only reason for putting up with life, was to help her through the rough patches of her's.

And since I can no longer do that, I hope, my life ends quickly.

All I ever feel is cold, alone. Nobody looks at me, not the way I need to be looked at.

I'll always be alone, I know it.

And with that knowledge comes the deep despair that comes from everything I am.

My life, is worthless, just as I am.

I shouldn't even have been born.

All I want is for somebody to give a crap about what happens to me, but nobody does do they?

Of course they don't because I'm not someone people can actually care for.