ALL BLACKS Captain Richie McCaw is so tough that…

= When Richie McCaw does a push-up, he isn’t lifting himself up; he’s pushing the Earth down.
= Richie McCaw doesn’t have blood. He is filled with magma.
= When Richie McCaw goes swimming he doesn’t get wet, the water gets Richie McCaw’ed.
= Richie McCaw does not wear a condom. Because there is no such thing as protection from Richie McCaw.
= Richie McCaw was once in a knife fight, and the knife lost.
= When the Bogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Richie McCaw.
= Richie McCaw has counted to infinity – twice.
= Richie McCaw invented every colour. Except pink. Tom Cruise invented pink.
= Richie McCaw’s hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush.
= Richie McCaw gave the Mona Lisa that smile.
= Richie McCaw can slam a revolving door.
= Some kids can piss their name in the snow. Richie McCaw can piss his name into concrete.
= Richie McCaw’s calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd; No-one fools Richie McCaw.
= Richie McCaw can speak Braille.
= Richie McCaw’s tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried... Ever.
= Superman owns a pair of Richie McCaw pyjamas.
= Richie McCaw owns the greatest Poker Face of all-time. It helped him win the 1993 World Series of Poker despite him holding just a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoly card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game Uno.
= Richie McCaw sleeps with a night light. Not because Richie McCaw is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Richie McCaw.
= Once a cobra bit Richie McCaw’s leg. After five days of excruciating pain, the cobra died.
= Richie McCaw can divide by zero.
= Richie McCaw once ordered a steak in a restaurant. The steak did what it was told.
= When you say “no ones perfect”, Richie McCaw takes this as a personal insult.
= When Richie McCaw exercises, the machine gets stronger.
= Richie McCaw doesn’t use pickup lines, he simply says, “Now”.
= Richie McCaw sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled rugby ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalised, Richie spear-tackled the devil and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn’t stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.
= Richie McCaw can kill two stones with one bird.
= The only time Richie McCaw was wrong, was when he thought he had made a mistake.
= Richie McCaw doesn't pop his collar, his shirts just get erections when they touch his body.
= Richie McCaw, Vin Diesel & Arnold Schwarzenegger have all died & in Heaven. Each of them hope to occupy the seat next to God. God asks Vin Diesel why he should have the seat and Vin replies, "I believe I should have the seat because of the virtuosity in my toughness and pride." Arnie says, "I believe that I should be the one sitting next to you because of all my achievements." God then turns to Richie McCaw, who replies with, "I believe you are sitting in my seat."
= The eternal conundrum "what happens when an unstoppable force meets an immovable object" was finally solved when Richie McCaw punched himself in the face.
= Richie McCaw once devoured a whole wheel-barrow full of clay to prove to a friend that the expression “Shitting bricks” wasn’t just a figure of speech.


Legend. Straight up.

Vital Statistics:
~ Full Name: Glenn Anthony Weenink
~ Nicknames: Weenie, Weenuts, Nemo, The Mad, Maaaaad Dutchman & MMD
~ Birthday: 14th September 1987
~ Place of Birth: Morrinsville, NZ (Better than Matamata, just)
~ Star Sign: Virgo
~ Male/Female: Justa little-too-keen, Rugby loving bloke
~ Education: '08 is a gap year in my BBS @ Massey Wgtn/Palmy
~ College: Matamata College
~ Occupation: Poor, Drunk Student/ALL BLACKS stalker
~ Residence: An awesome new house with all the trimings while the Old are away!!
~ Email: holdenguy_77@hotmail.com OR ferrari.red_devil@vodafone.net.nz
~ MSN Screen Name: The Mad, Maaaaad Dutchman!!!

The Ugly S.O.B:
~ Hair Colour: Brown
~ Hair Length: Gottit chopped a while ago, but it's gettin there...
~ Eye colour: Dunno can't see them; Green I think...
~ Weight: 68kg/150lb FATTY!!!
~ Height: 1.77m/5"10' last time I looked
~ Braces: No, I definitely hope not!!!!
~ Glasses: Yes, new cool slightly scratched ones now
~ Piercings: Pfft!! NO........
~ Tattoos: Caveman drawings for big, dumb, piss-head, moron Australian rugby league players.....
~ Righty or Lefty: Right-handed, Shoot lefty, Kick off both!!!

Firsts:
~ First best friend: Lloyd... and that was ages ago!!!!
~ First Award: I won the "Guess the Lollies in the Jar" comp at a school calf club... choice!!!!
~ First Sport You Joined: Football... and if you call it soccer I will come over there and bash you!!!!
~ First pet: Cat called Tommy
~ First Real Vacation: The Goldy on the West Island
~ First Concert: Raggamuffin 2008; it was F*~KING amazing.... UB40 were fantastic!!!
~ First Love: Rugby (Never kiss & tell...)

Favourites Right.......... Now:
~ Movie: The Pursuit of Happyness
~ Number/s: 7, 77, 47 or 4.
~ TV programme: Pulp Sport, Boston Legal or Outrageous Fortune
~ Colour: BLACK!!!!!! or Ferrari Red
~ Rapper: F*^K OFF!!!!
~ Band: UB40 & Supergroove
~ Song Right Now: The Black Seeds - One by One
~ Podcast: Rugby Roundtable www.rugbyroundtable.com
~ Sweet: Snickers or Skittles
~ Sport to Play: Cricket or Indoor Football
~ Restaurant: Lone Star & Tulsi
~ Brand: ALL BLACKS... I'm recovering from the dissapointment slowly...
~ Store: Rebel Sport or Champions of the World
~ School Subject: PE or Woodwork
~ Book: Doc Mayhew & Standing Tall: the Tawera Nikau story
~ Magazine: Sky Sport: The Magazine