1. I dont feel the need to lean on things ALL the time. sometimes i find if i stay in the 1 place too long people cant seem to keep themselves standing upright and need to lean on my shoulder (which, so i hear, is the perfect height for leaning!). sit down if you are tired!

2. in the same vane, i dont feel the need to pat people on the top of the head just cos i can see it.

3. Guys seem to think that messing up some girls hair on the dance floor or taking their jewellery is the best way to get a girls attention. unless you are brad pitt (in his anniston days, not jolie) that aint gonna work. do you not know girls at all? We spend time and effort on our hair, and would like it to stay nice for the whole night.

4. When you are drinking you feel the need to go in and out side 10 times a minute.

5. why do young ones wear a dress and 10 layers of tan to a country village pub you look like you are trying to look 18....you dont by the way. especially if you are falling around the place with a bottle of blue wicked.

6. Why when you cant sleep does your pillow run out of cool places

7. What do the people that leave comments from bebo mobile sayin "i think you are hot. my msn is tramp@hotmail.com we shud talk" actually look like. are their faces so hideous that they have to use other peoples. why bother your hole.

8. Why cant you just go into a shop and say "one nice boy please!" me and jade have decided that the perfect man is a funny garda from the north that will make a fuss of us and is ehem... talented. oh it wud also be nice if he was good lookin. i mean is that too much to ask!!

9. why do people from dublin think that if you arent from dublin that you live on a farm. there are towns and cities outside dublin. we arent living in the past out here. get over yourselves.

10. Why on a night out as soon as you go to the loo you have to go every few mins for the rest of the night. stupid seal!

11. How much wood could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood.

12. why do people drink alco pops, ive drank fanta that gave me a bigger buzz!

13. Why do i love watchin horror movies while im watchin them and then as soon as im walkin through south campus in the dark to meet aoife or im goin out to feed the dog or goin up my stairs at night it all comes flooding back to me?? what the hell!

14. why do people in small towns love mouthing?? its impossible to keep a secret!

15. Why has Karma forgotten me?

16. What is the meaning of life

17. what happens when we die.

18. Why do i always think about 15, 16, and 17 at 5 in the morning when im trying to sleep? its not the time for it!

19. how do i know what im typing on is a laptop, what im sitting on is a chair, that the sky is blue and how do people from other countries know that they are what they call them... you know what i mean! language boggles my mind!!!!

20. why do i always think of the good comebacks when its too late. im only ever able to burn buckley, he just sets himself up for it

21. Why does it always rain on me? is it because i lied when i was 17. Why does it always rain on me? even when the sun is shinin i cant avoid the lighning

22. Why cant i go back in time to tell myself to study more for my leaving and get into midwifery? (thats another one for number 1

23. why cant i pose properly for pictures

24. Why have i loads of size 6 jeans in my wardrobe

25. Why cant i keep my room tidy

26. why do people always say to me "wow you are really small" oh shit are you sure?? damn, heres me thinkin i was tall! MAN! ive been in my body as long as i can remember( ) i know im little, it doesnt bother me, at least i can put on heels and be tall... tall people cant shrink!

NOW ITS YOUR TURN!
post comments of things you wonder about or things you want to give out about!

The 1st one is always easy because THIS TABLE IS STICKY!

Whats wrong with that dog??? Well for starters its a cat!

Whats he doing to that wheel??

Cats have such bad grammer!

Hes really grey, its like hes in black and white!

Once in a life time Bonaventure!

I stayed there for 5 nights and on the 5th night i still needed a bell boy to take me to my room (after saying how much the hotel spends on bell boys)

(the boys dat sat in front of us drawin big penises [or peni as emma says haha] for a whole hour. 1 guy draws a swirl and says...)
WHAT IS THAT?? (then he scribbles it out, disgusted with his pathetic attempt, me nd Fi laughed for the rest of the class, keeping in mind we were already giddy from our lecturer telling us he required the services of a bell boy 5 nights in a row )

What do you do for a hobby? I owl kick.

Your Mom!

Ma is no more.
sheep are going to have to say moooom from now on.
sheep dont say ma they say baa!!

Terenure!!!

im goin to terenure
how do you get there?
you drink some poteen and you just know!

I didnt even realise i got mint tea

I hate when they dont make mint tea with tea leaves and it just has a thing in the bottom.
well i did have chewing gum, maybe that was it.

I'll update this as more funny things happen, which i could be doing forever. im always either laughing or sleeping. college is hilarious and you gotta love the bus!

i was in this bar and this song came on i will never forget it it was called the funk soul brother i will always remember that because it was also all of the lyrics it was that school of songwritting, you know very easy on the words in cacse they ran out, ther was a shortage. it sounded like a million fire engines chacing 10 million ambulances in a war zone and it was played at a volume that made the empty chair beside me bleed

Im not sayin its a bad song im just saying you could get a broom say and dip it in some break fluid, put the other end up my arse, stick me on a trampoline in a moving lift and i would write a better song on the wall.

all drugs so is make you say huh? for 9 hours. "hahaha! huh?!". i can get the same rush just getting out of a chair when i dont expect it.

i feel very old... my hair hurts, i have buttocks all over my body, i look like a letter B on crutches. i cant smoke anymore, my lungs are popadoms.

childrens questions are so much more imaginative than adult. they ask "when.. when.. when can we build the cheese hospital?"

beer is more a pre food afair, because you drink beer and eventually you end up saying "agh food! sausages! small children! sandels food i dont give a fuck!"

the most dangerous drink is gin. to drink gin you have to be 45, female and sitting on a stairs. gin isnt so much a drink as a mascara thinner "nobody likes my shoooes!"

you can be out with your friends drinking and they can be both very affecrionate and hostile at the same time. they say " do you know how much i love you? do you? do you? DO YOU? NO YOU DONT DO YOU BECAUSE YOURE A PRICK!! you always have been. ive always loved you. come here. fuck off!"

i woke up with one of those hangovers where for the 1st 2 seconds you think yourte ok, and youre going "its a beautiful day, the birds are swaying the trees are singing. its beautiful look at this... ooooh no, no no. cancel everything, i will not be recieving visitors today, take that tea away from me. this isnt my skin, this isnt my skin... oh its my tshirt. dont touch me im made of dirty fish."