Excerpt: "Get Past the Pain!”

I can’t exactly remember what age I was when I started planning my escape. I mean it’s not like at age 10 I could write out an escape route. But somewhere in my mind I was waiting for an opportunity to get out of that house. My mother is dead, she died when I was fifteen and at the time I couldn’t think of a better place for her. My mother suffered through years of physical abuse. She use to be a Christian, till my father tried to beat it out of her, then one day she just gave up. The beatings always seemed to happen late at night and usually in the kitchen. I guess this is as far as my mother could run from the bedroom before he’d catch her. He’d always catch her. I could hear it all from my bedroom.

Who could sleep through slaps across the face so loud it sounded like symbols clanging together? Who could sleep through furniture being knocked over, the sound bouncing off the wall like thunder? Who could sleep through piercing screams? As I’d lay there in my bed waiting for the time to come for me to go in the kitchen, pick my mother up off the floor and wipe the blood from her face, I’d always wonder if she’d still be breathing when I got there. Quiet. Did he stab her this time? Did he shoot her? Quiet. Is he still there? I can’t hear them fighting anymore. I have to wait for the sound of him slamming the door. Pow! There it is.

Now I rush out of bed and run to my mother’s side. If I go too soon and get in the way he’ll just beat me too. It’s dark in here. SSShhh. Where is she? Oh God I’m scared. What if she’s dead? Will he kill us too? Wait, I see her…Oh my God…she looks like a rag doll, like a crumpled rag doll, laying on the floor in the fetal position.

My thirty plus year old mother looks like a dead baby. I see blood. God I’m scared. Wait. I hear a faint whimper. Thank you God, he didn’t kill her this time. I slowly approach my mother. I kneel down beside her and extend my hand to her. I love her. We’ve switched roles now, at 10 years old I’ve become the mother and she is the broken, battered child. I lead her to the couch and I sit down first so that she can lay her head in my lap. I stroke her hair. I tell her that its o.k. I wipe the blood from her face as she cries. We both cry.

My mother cries because she has been beaten yet again, because she is damaged and hurt. Me, I cried then also but what I did not know is that I wasn’t only crying for my present, I was crying tears for my future as well. I was crying for all the damage that all of these episodes had done to my spirit. Damage done to the spirit of a ten-year-old that would soon grow into a woman, a very damaged woman.

You see, as I sat there time and time again, cleaning up the blood from my mother’s face, or trying to convince him not to beat my mother, or me, or my baby sister, I guess I took a silent oath. Not out loud but in my spirit. I never understood why my mother endured so much grief, so much pain, but I know this, no man was going to do that to me! No man would hurt me like that! No man would control my life, my happiness, and my peace of mind! When I grow up, I’ll do whatever it takes to survive. I’ll do whatever it takes to make it. No, not me! I will not live an unhappy life. My mother lived unhappy and she died unhappy. When she could no longer take the beatings she began to drink to ease the pain. The drinking never eased her pain. Alcohol could not erase the pain that she felt, for a broken spirit who can bear? So she drank until her body ceased to breathe, until her heart ceased to pump, yet searching for a relief that only Jesus Christ could give.

That’s the legacy I received from my mother. I learned to do whatever it took to ease my pain. To take whatever exit I had to take in order to not feel the pain, in order to not deal with the pain. And this is how I lived my l

When Loving You Is Killing Me!” by TK Jordan
An Excerpt from "Woman at the Well - Get Past the Pain!" by TK Jordan

Married 5 times by the age of 34! TK Jordan tells her TRUE STORY in this life-changing novel, motivating others to be healed and delivered from the bondage of "Pain" that has paralyzed many from moving forward towards their Purpose, and held them captive from reaching their God-Ordained Destiny!

Excerpt: "When Loving You Is Killing Me!" by TK Jordan

I had not gotten out of the bed since the night Eric left, which was seven days ago. I had a nervous breakdown. Well, I don’t know how nervous it was but trust me, I was BROKE DOWN!

“You need to get out of that bed! Girl look at you, your hair is a mess, you ain’t brushed your teeth in a week and you look like you stank! Tammy yelled. She’s always yelling, why don’t she just leave. I thought to myself.

I snatched the cover back from Tammy and buried my head under the cover. I began to cry. Again. A deep cry, the kind that rattles your soul. “I just can’t do this right now.” I pleaded with my friend through sobs. “I’m so hurt Tammy, I haven’t even heard from Eric. How could he do this? How could he just leave me? Where is he? Who is he with? What is he doing?
Tammy looked at her friend, lying there seemingly in one piece yet broken into many.

“Honestly Ronnie, I don’t even know what to say. I’m so mad at that sorry, no good excuse for a man. He has some nerve.” I held up my hand as if to say enough. “Don’t do that Tammy!” I warned, with fresh tears flowing down my face. "I love him!” I screamed. Tammy sat on the edge of my bed.
“Listen Ronnie.” She said, with true compassion. “I’m sorry Ronnie. I know that you love Eric.” Tammy pauses, carefully choosing her words. She doesn’t want to inflict any further pain on her fragile friend. “
But Ronnie, this is not love! I’m sorry, but you need to hear this."

Tammy grabbed my arms and pulled me to a sitting position. “Ronnie you deserve better.” I looked questioningly at her. I guess I didn’t believe her.
I looked across the room and spotted my image in the mirror.
My mouth dropped open as I stared at the stranger in the mirror, seeing myself for the first time in a week. Who is this pitiful looking woman? Her hair dirty and wild. Deep bags and dark circles competed for first place under my eyes. Zeroing in on the sadness in those eyes, I crawled to the edge of the bed. “Ronnie, what’s wrong?” Tammy asked nervously. As if hit with a bolt of lightening, I jumped from the bed and quickly moved closer to the mirror. “I know those eyes.”
I whispered, moving even closer to the mirror and pointing at my image in the mirror. “I know those eyes.” I repeated, this time more loudly, frantically shaking my head. Yes, I had seen those pain filled eyes before. “Those are my mother’s eyes.” I reached out, I extended my hand and I lovingly touched the reflection in the mirror. I gently wiped the tears from my mother’s eyes, I mean from the reflection in the mirror. No, I mean from my mother’s eyes. But this time she wasn’t crying tears for her, she was crying tears for me.

Eric called after two weeks of being missing in action. He called pledging his
love, pleading for forgiveness. He asked me to move to Germany with him.
To leave my family and friends and follow him! I was speechless.
Ronnie? Please forgive me, please talk to me.” He pleaded.
I couldn’t even answer him because then he would know that I was crying.
“Ronnie you don’t have to talk to me, just listen. He said.
“No you listen! I screamed. “Forgive you? You want me to forgive you Eric? Well what does that mean? Does forgiving you mean that I have to let you hurt me over and over again? Does forgiving you mean that I should act as if nothing happened? Does it mean that you won’t do this to

"Woman at the Well-Get Past the Pain!" by TK Jordan

Streaming Faith is proud to announce TK Jordan's testimony Fornication... is it worth it? which touched the hearts of many of our members.
Through her transparency and her willingness to share her testimony with others many were freed from the bondage of sexual sin. That’s what it’s all about!
Share the Good News of Christ with the world. Thank you TK, May God bless you for allowing your story to bless others! (The Streaming Faith Staff)
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To Whom it May Concern, and You Know Who You Are!

MARRIED 5 TIMES BY AGE 34! (My True Story! "Woman at the Well - Get Past the Pain!") at a critical point in my life I had to stop and ask myself some hard, painful questions. All of the men that I stepped outside of the will of God and gave myself to sexually, where are they now? What seemed like fun and the fulfillment of my desires was only an illusion, a short-lived illusion at that. Although I was doing my thing..fornicating, sinning, my spirit was dying on the inside, for the end of that fulfillment, that Sin is death!

My excuse was that I did not want to be ALONE, I just wanted to be LOVED both emotionally and physically, but I learned the hard way that you can't get around God! Only what you do in Christ will last!

I had to realize that the love that I was searching for only God could fullfil. After running from man to man, relationship to relationship and marriage to marriage I had to come to the painful realization that having sex was not the cure to my loneliness, to my pain, because most of the time after the deed was done that familiar pain, longing and desire was still there!

Romans 5:21 says "But then what benefit did you get from the things of which you are now ashamed? None, for the end of those things is death."

My Sisters and Brothers in Christ, I am a witness that there was "No Benefit" from my Fornicating, having sex outside of marriage, but there was Plenty of Shame!

Be encouraged! Hold on! Don't let the enemy give you the Ishmael before the Isaac!

Excerpt from "Woman at the Well-Get Past the Pain!" by TK Jordan

Ronnie stopped by the store to get her usual cup of morning coffee. While standing in line waiting to pay she casually scaned the different headlines in the local newspapers. Suddenly Ronnie's eyes froze as her mouth fell open. "Can I help you Lady." The cashier asks, tired from his long night shift. Ronnie paid for the coffee, never taking her eyes from the newspaper rack. "Let me get this paper also." Ronnie said.

As she got into her car Ronnie buckled her seat belt, rested her head on the headrest and said a silent prayer for strength. Ronnie opened the paper holding her breath as she read the feature story of the beautiful wedding ceremony that
took place last weekend between the Mayor of Georgia's daughter and the man whom Ronnie had just left in bed...Perry.

I called Mama Hattie-Mae as soon as I got into the house.
"Hi Mama-Hattie." I said, my shaky voice already revealing that
something was wrong. Unable to hold back the dam that was only seconds from bursting, I hysterically began blurting out the news that I had just discovered about the love of my life, Perry. Then I waited, holding my breath for her response.

"Baby the love you are looking for is not in a man and it's not between the sheets." Mama Hattie Mae said. Hattie-Mae heart aches as she heard me sobbing, but her only business is Soul business.
"Go ahead and cry if you must. I'm not trying to hurt you baby, but I am trying to deliver your soul."
Mama Hattie-Mae knew how to cut you deep and she never used a knife! I believe that Surgery without anesthesia would be kinder.

"You see when you let God come on the inside everything that is not like Him has to go! that's right, Ronnie has to die so you can be the Woman of God that He has called you to be." Hattie Mae was rele