Chris Richardson
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Male, 19,
5
- from aberdeen
- Single
- Profile views: back soon
- Member since: April 2005
- Last active: 44 weeks ago
- www.bebo.com/chrisdoesnotlikefish
- Me, Myself, and I
- I am indifferent to marmite
- Music
- anything
- Films
- A list of my top ten films would probabaly be as follows:
1.Zulu
2.Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid
3.Top Gun
4. Star war original trilogy
5. The spy who loved me
6. Hot fuzz
7. The life of Brian
8. 51st state
9. Speed
10. Moonraker - Sports
- I currently have, and have had for as long as i can remember an obsession with supporting Liverpool FC. Particpating in sport-wise, i enjoy sailing, powerkiting (buggy and board), a bit of tennis and squash, i recently stopped playing rugby at grammer. And I'm curretly doing my PADI open water (scuba)
- appollagies (spelling?)
- Due to the disasterously awfullness of the introduction of this page, I promise to change it when I can think of something better to write here.
- Happiest When
- safe in the knowledge that Liverpool are winning
- msn
- feel free to add me if you wish of chrisdoesnotlikefish@hotmail.
com
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(as a neutrall) which of these was the best match:
- 2001 UEFA cup final - Liverpool 5 - Aleves 4 (AET)
- 2005 Champions league final - Liverpool 3 - AC Milan 3 (Liverpool win on penaties)
- 2006 FA cup 3rd round - Luton 3 - Liverpool 5
- 2006 FA cup final - Liverpool 3 - West Ham 3 (Liverpool win on penaties)
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a tale of two squirrels
this was send to me by the great man that is alex, and we decided it should be broadcast to the world,
its a completely accurate portayal of the state of Britains socialist tendancies. It shows what is wrong with out glorius nation in these two different stories involving a squirrel and a grasshoper. The fist story portays other contries with different goverment and what we should aim toemulate, the second however, is the grim reality.
enjoy.
VERSION 1 : REST OF THE WORLD
The squirrel works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building and improving his house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks he's a fool, and laughs and dances and plays the summer away. Come winter, the squirrel is warm and well fed. The shivering grasshopper has no food or shelter, so he dies out in the cold.
THE END
VERSION 2: THE BRITISH VERSION
The squirrel works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks he's a fool, and laughs and dances and plays the summer away. Come winter, the squirrel is warm and well fed.
A social worker finds the shivering grasshopper, calls a press conference and demands to know why the squirrel should be allowed to be warm and well fed while others less fortunate, like the grasshopper, are cold and starving. The BBC shows up to provide live coverage of the shivering grasshopper; with cuts to a video of the squirrel in his comfortable warm home with a table laden with food.
The British press inform people that they should be ashamed that in a country of such wealth, this poor grasshopper is allowed to suffer so while others have plenty. The Labour Party, Greenpeace, Animal Rights and The Grasshopper Council of GB demonstrate in front of the squirrel's house. The BBC, interrupting a cultural festival special from Notting Hill with breaking news, broadcasts a multi cultural choir singing "We Shall Overcome". Ken Livingstone rants in an interview with Trevor McDonald that the squirrel has gotten rich off the backs of grasshoppers, and calls for an immediate tax hike on the squirrel to make him pay his "fair share" and increases the charge for squirrels to enter inner London.
In response to pressure from the media, the Government drafts the Economic Equality and Grasshopper Anti Discrimination Act, retroactive to the beginning of the summer. The squirrel' s taxes are reassessed. He is taken to court and fined for failing to hire grasshoppers as builders for the work he was doing on his home and an additional fine for contempt when he told the court the grasshopper did not want to work.
The grasshopper is provided with a council house, financial aid to furnish it and an account with a local taxi firm to ensure he can be socially mobile. The squirrel's food is seized and re distributed to the more needy members of society, in this case the grasshopper.
Without enough money to buy more food, to pay the fine and his newly imposed retroactive taxes, the squirrel has to downsize and start building a new home. The local authority takes over his old home and utilises it as a temporary home for asylum seeking cats who had hijacked a plane to get to Britain as they had to share their country of origin with mice. On arrival they have tried to blow up the airport because of Britain's apparent love of dogs.
The cats had been arrested for the international offence of hijacking and attempt bombing but were immediately released because the police fed them pilchards instead of salmon whilst in custody. Initial moves to then return them to their own country were abandoned because it was feared they would face death by the mice. The cats devise and start a scam to obtain money from peoples credit cards.
A Panorama special shows the grasshopper finishing up the last of the squirrel's food, though Spring is still months away, while the council house he is in, crumbles around him because he hasn't6 Comments 1098 days
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Mark Lane58 weeks agolol 3700 views
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oyt scotlands group66 weeks agoadd my group plz
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68 weeks ago
Jen Jewell
Please don't bring up the mcmuffin incident....I'm embarrassed and ashamed. And as for the tittywank......FUCK YOU! ha.
Anyways that's nothing...
what about that time you had to lick the cottage cheese that looked like discharge off that really "hot" girl....yeah don't pretend you don't remember...!
hahaha which reminds me remember that sparrow we found hilarious at hazelhead? and it came and pecked you on the head, so i screamed "BULLOCKS TO IT", scaring it away.
awww i miss the old days. Remember the crazy chinease man who spoke for ages in mandarin...occasionaly mentioning polar ice caps...LMAO....freak.
Loving it much?
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
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68 weeks ago
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70 weeks ago via Mobile
Lenore Schultz
you Yoland This hot chick with huge tits is showing on cam! Hit up jane23white@live.com on msn messenger before she gets off. Shes crazy!
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Katie Forbes70 weeks agoDid sailor Jerry see you through the rest of the weekend? And are you still wearing your irish outfit or is it now a second skin?
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James Scott74 weeks agoYou bet on chelsea to win and i bet on man u
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74 weeks ago
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Sally75 weeks agoHey Chris howz it going? long time no speak! up 2 much?
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78 weeks ago
Mr Basic
hahaha!!!
where the hek do you get all this from? ok!
here goes: did you know that In the 1870s, two inventors Elisha Gray and Alexander Graham Bell both independently designed devices that could transmit speech electrically (the telephone). Both men rushed their respective designs to the patent office within hours of each other, Alexander Graham Bell patented his telephone first. Elisha Gray and Alexander Graham Bell entered into a famous legal battle over the invention of the telephone, which Bell won.
and we now thank him for creating the telephone.
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Mr Basic78 weeks agoHAHAHAHAHA!!!
that is brilliant!! how are u sooo clued up on the welsh?!?! i really want to seem intalectual and tell you some starteling fact.......................... but i didnt take history and i really have no clue what!! haha!
lets go with this instead. Swedn spends more of the GDP (gross domestic product- a mesure of a country's wealth) on schemes for disabled workers in select EU countires which includes, the netherlands, denmark, germany, belgium, finland, france, spain, the uk, italy and finaly ireland which spends the least at 0.01% of its GDP on their diabled!
bet you didnt know that one eh!!
haha!!
grant
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Mr Basic79 weeks agohello hello!
how be ye?
im still shoked about the fact that whales is not a country!! haha!!
any way!
nice to meet you!
grant -
Adele Merson88 weeks agoNahhh. Not scared in the slightest but I know that you actually are...haha
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Vic88 weeks agoI shall b traveling by bus as i am rather poor
i take it one is traveling by train?
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Murray Whyte89 weeks agohaha thats a funny one chris lol no i dunno how im gettin there. im definatly goin though
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Robbie Crow89 weeks agoScared? Me..? NEVER!
oh.. can you please explain the word "resequences"
i've told you before, no words longer than 7 letters and 4 sylables! -
Robbie Crow90 weeks agohey,
you going in march? yes?
wb
(p.s. mon the snp
)
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Vic91 weeks agoactually i'll have yoo know i shall not be skiiving
you shall be blessed with my presence once more
vic
x


What the absolute hell?! To loosely quote Clarkson: What kind of fish? haddock, cod, salmon, halibut, trout, monkfish, bass? What you mean is that you've never tried fish because your parents were or are too stupid to buy it.
Ian 0 Replys