Kevin McKenzie <ForzaLossie>
"Le Directeur"


Hello troops.

I am living in Aberdeen. She did throw me out tho, so I've moved!

If you play in the Highland League for anyone other than Lossie, you probably don't like me. You probably don't like my dad or my uncle either, nor my grandad before me. Thats just the price you pay for choosing to play for some shower of shite instead of the Red Menace.

Add me. I am occasionally useful. At least post a comment or something, you bothered to read this much.

Viva kit hooses!

Gender  
Male
Last ActiveProfile Views
1 day12364 times
Share the LuvRelationship Status
22
Single
Hometown
Lossiemouth
Kevin McKenzie's URL
http://www.bebo.com/ForzaLossie
Member Since
March 2007

Kevin McKenzie says:

"Have you all voted for me on that messageboard?" (1 day ago) me too! | Reply

I am
..a semi-professional Lossiemouth FC Supporter. I have won awards for my behaviour. The clubs messageboard is www.lossiemouthfc.com. Plenty mare pish on there. And I mean PLENTY.
I am
...built like a steak house but I handle like a bistro.
Sports
If it involves a ball and someone losing, I'll watch it. I enjoy very much the memory of Elgin getting stripped of the league title also. Now THAT is what football is all about - seeing Elgin get fucked over.
Personal heroes
Zapp Brannigan, Ernest Bilko, Richard M Nixon, Tigger, Molly McKenzie.
I like
small blondes. Tall dark haired women. Swearing. Gambling. Occasional gingers. Drinking. Eating. Sleeping in. A traditional breakfast with beans (no tomato), and the Harbour Tea Rooms. Bonbon. Going home. Going away again. Last minute winners. The first day of the season. Quavers. The expression 'Chebs Oot For Africa'. Dr John Zoidberg MD. My old cat. My new cat. My imagination. Standing up and applauding the screen in a cinema when someone in the film utters the name of the particular feature as one of his or her lines. The name 'Ruprecht'. Danny Baker. Carl Cox's Essential Mix World Tour from 1998-1999. Sambas. Jeff Stelling. Saturday.
In a strange way....
....there is something fitting about the inaugural Lossiemouth FC Supporters Away Day Pub of The Year Award going to an Irish Bar in southern Poland.
Mandatory Bebo bullshit
Life is great and I'm having a wonderful time and living it to the full. Etc. Am I a normal person now? Thanks.

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  • White Hart Lane, two weeks ago

    HARRY: We need some proper players here.
    LEVY: Ok, not a problem. Let me just get Damien in here and…
    HARRY: Comolli? You sacked him.
    LEVY: Oh yes, of course I did. Laugh out loud!
    HARRY: Come on Daniel, breathe nice and slow, here...take a seat, I’ll fetch you a glass of water.
    LEVY: I’m not sure I can make...make any suggestions.
    HARRY: You let me worry about the targets. Make sure you’ve got the readies ready for Redknapp. HAHAHA, got to use that one next time I speak to the boys from the press.
    LEVY: Who are you after?
    HARRY: For a start, Defoe. They love ‘em here. We should bring him back.
    LEVY: He’ll cost more than we sold him for.
    HARRY: Pompey owe £5M for Kaboul, so we can write that off as part of the deal.
    LEVY: That might just work. I’ll earmark £15M for Jermain.
    HARRY: We also need a proper midfielder. A DM, holding type of midfielder. Not enough grit from the current lot.
    LEVY: Any thoughts?
    HARRY: Not sure at the minute. Shame Diarra went to Madrid. Might need to watch Match of the Day to get an idea of what’s available. Or take a trip to Africa. All expenses paid of course.
    LEVY: Well, we could…
    HARRY: What?
    LEVY: There’s a formula Damien and myself would use when we signed players. We could possibly implement it now. It’s effective. Worked with Bale, Bentley, Gomes and Pav.
    HARRY: I’m all ears.
    LEVY: Well, based on Fantasy Football points accumulated and tabloid reporting and tv highlights we calculate who is considered to be the most hyped up player of the past month.
    HARRY: Ok. Then what.
    LEVY: We bid between £14M and £16M for him.
    HARRY: You know...that might just work.
    LEVY: There is another system which is equally as affective.
    HARRY: Hold on, let me get a notepad.....go on…
    LEVY: We buy whoever played well against us.
    HARRY: That’s brilliant! Gives us plenty of targets to choose from. We’ll use this going forward.
    LEVY: You don’t want to use your system?
    HARRY: What system?
    LEVY: ...
    HARRY: ...
    LEVY: Right. Targets.
    HARRY: I want Bellamy.
    LEVY: Hold on, we haven’t used the formula.
    HARRY: He’s scoring goals, he’s on form. He’s got grit and determination.
    LEVY: I’ll call West Ham.
    HARRY: Bid £12M, that should do it. West Ham are desperate for the cash.
    LEVY: Ok.
    HARRY: And Defoe?
    LEVY: Already made a bid.
    HARRY: How?
    LEVY: Blackberry.
    HARRY: Triffic. Triffic. Love modern technology. Only had paper back in my day.
    LEVY: I was right getting rid of the director of football system wasn’t I?
    HARRY: Of course you were, of course. Can you use that Bluebell thingie to text Duxbury about Bellamy?
    LEVY: Also done. Fingers slipped though, and I bid £15M for him.
    HARRY: Triffic. We work well together, don’t we?
    LEVY: We do. Director of football? Who needs one?
    HARRY: Not us! Let’s get Appiah in for a trial.
    LEVY: Harry, Harry, Harry…the formula! The formula!!
    HARRY: I know, I know, but he’s a free agent.
    LEVY: Sorry, he’s a what?
    HARRY: A free agent.
    LEVY: I don’t get it.
    HARRY: He’s free. He won’t cost us anything.
    LEVY: He won’t cost us anything?
    HARRY: That’s right.
    LEVY: So, he’ll cost us something?
    HARRY: No, he won’t cost us anything...something...we don’t need to pay a transfer fee. He’s free.
    LEVY: But...but someone needs to be paid.
    HARRY: Well, there’s his wages to consider. Signing-on fee.
    LEVY: Not...enough...someone...must...be
     ...paid…
    HARRY: Daniel...Daniel, breathe...that’s it...here’s your paper bag...breathe...that’s it...
    LEVY: Can we talk about something else?
    HARRY: Yeah, of course...of course.
    LEVY: Good, good.
    HARRY: How about Palacios?
    LEVY: The Wigan player?
    HARRY: Yes. Perfect fit, upgrade on Zokora.
    LEVY: He can pass and tackle?
    HARRY: Yes.
    LEVY: Can he dance?
    HARRY: I...I don’t know.
    LEVY: Ok, hold on. Let me look at the formula…
    HARRY: ...
    LEVY: ...
    HARRY: So...?
    LEVY: Hold on a sec...And we...YES!! WOOOOOOOOOO!!! HE FITS TH

    2 Comments 162 days

  • What was Die Hard called in other countries?

    Die Hard's title has been changed for different market releases to an extent rarely seen. It was renamed Big Building Fight in Thailand. In Spain, it was renamed La Jungla de Cristal (The Glass Jungle). In Latin America it was renamed Duro de Matar (Hard to Kill), since "Die Hard", does not translate well. In Russia the film was named Крепкий Орешек (A Hard Nut to Crack) (word-for-word — Hard Nutlet). In Poland it was named Szklana Pułapka (The Glass Trap). In Portugal it was named Assalto ao Arranha-Céus (Assault to the Skyscraper). In Greece it was named Πολύ σκληρός για να πεθάνει (Too tough to die). In Norway it was named Operasjon Skyskraper, which translates into "Operation Skyscraper". It was later changed to its original name. In France and in Italy, it was named The Crystal Trap (respectively Piège de Cristal in French, Trappola di Cristallo in Italian). In Yugoslavia, instead, the film was named Umri Muški (Die like a Man). In Romania, it was renamed Greu de ucis (Hard To Kill, like the Latin American title). In Finland, the film was named Vain kuolleen ruumiini yli (Only over my dead body). In Germany, the title was Stirb langsam (Die Slowly). The Hungarian title was Drágán add az életed (Give your life expensive). In Estonia, the title was translated to Visa Hing (Sturdy Soul). In Israel, the title was translated to מת לחיות (Dying to Live). In Czech Republic, the title was translated to Smrtonosná Past (Lethal Trap). In Taiwan it became "終極警探" (Ultimate Detective) and "虎胆龙威"(Tiger's bravery and Dragon's might) in Hong Kong and mainland China.

    1 Comment 209 days

  • Sean Bean

    Professional Northerner and former Sheffield United director who is always banging on about how much he loves the Blades. Fell out spectacularly with Neil Warnock, the former United manager, last year. “At a board meeting, he made a big show of how he wanted to make an important point,” Warnock said. “We all waited expectantly and then he said that we should get rid of Captain Blade. That was it. That was all he wanted to talk about. The team mascot. The fluffy thing on the touchline. Captain F**king Blade. That was the extent of his contribution.

    2 Comments 217 days

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  • Jamie
    Jamie

    oh right:L

    yeah i do atm and i play mens hockey aswell with a bunch of 40 year olds:L

    2 days ago
  • Jamie
    luv Jamie

    is that on the lossie messageboard yeah?

    ur name kevin or jimmy?:L

    2 days ago
  • Jamie
    Jamie

    im not too bothered about the quiz but whats this about the messageboard?

    2 days ago
  • Matt
    Matt

    im away 2 engerland for a holiday on saturday so no can do, sorry, good luck though,

    4 days ago
  • Sallan
    Sallan

    haha - thats what i like to hear!:L

    Lossie supplying full kits
    or we need shorts & socks?

    4 days ago
  • Sallan
    Sallan

    quality yes - maybe at drinking pints!
    that is a fair squad like!
    hope the weather isna like the past week
    othewise i can see a few o the above struggling - me
    especially!

    4 days ago
  • Sallan
    Sallan

    sound - will nae be getting howlt on Friday, no chance!
    Who else is playin?

    4 days ago
  • Sallan
    Sallan

    Aye im up for it. aslong as i'm nae taking up space
    for anybody else tho? I can live we wearing Lossie top,
    done it enuf already! na so keen on the sticks tho!

    4 days ago
  • Sallan
    Sallan

    im up for a fleeting appearance next sat if use are struggling!? 10 mins here & there kun?!

    1 week ago
  • Barry Mcsheffrey
    Barry Mcsheffrey

    wina be home for it, dam could of been a good kicking match:L :L u been up 2 much?

    1 week ago
  • Iain A
    Iain A

    Alrite pal hows it goin ? Got ne nights out in Aberdeen planned for this summer ? av got a new job now, workin 4 the council !! :))

    1 week ago
  • Sallan
    Sallan

    just seen on bebo home page
    "Kevin Mckenzie is a fan of Cove Rangers"!!!
    A sentence i thot i'd never see!:L

    9 weeks ago
  • James S
    James S

    I hear the mystery of the missing cat has been solved:L

    9 weeks ago
  • Furious D
    Furious D

    you back tonight or the morn baw bags?

    10 weeks ago
  • Gavin Sutherland
    Gavin Sutherland

    My cousins the manager of Deveronside. I think our game against Buckie will be a hard one they always seem to rasie there game when we play them probably due to the fact they hate us, away win there on wed night would do us nicely for the visit of the trains at PRP on saturday(another hard game:O )

    12 weeks ago
  • Matt
    Matt

    are you taking part in the quiz night the friday after at the club or is that when ur away to see the wolverines

    12 weeks ago
  • Matt
    Matt

    you home next weekend at all? gettin the wee one christened at st james kirk 11am then stotfield after for a cheeky wee buffet and a Pint if you fancy it, james and klouse and the likes will be there, even if the kirk doesnt aPPeal to you head to the stotter for the buttys!!

    12 weeks ago
  • Gavin Sutherland
    luv Gavin Sutherland

    Arite Kev

    Elgin did well yesterday getting a draw:O :D

    Were Buckie any good or were you guys poor, we need te win on wed or i think its all over for us, i think we will pull it off:D

    12 weeks ago
  • Chesh. 12 weeks ago
  • Matt
    Matt

    Russel Anderson is so last season, you obviously never got the sheep shaggers memo, the player they are now touting for an international cap is Zander Diamond, they will roll out all the usual arguments, plays well every week, wears his heart on his sleeve, would be a scotland regular if he played for the old firm you get the picture.

    13 weeks ago