Andy Botwin: How can you be so blindly pro-Bush?
Doug Wilson: I like his wife Laura... I used to buy weed from her at SMU.

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Nance, trust me, a bakery is virtually impossible to run without drug money

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It's a weed wonderland, Nancy. It's like Amsterdam only you don't have to visit the Anne Frank house and pretend to be all sad and shit.

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Don't look at me, I'm fucked up on corn bread.

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How do you ask the woman that makes your kids' lunches to suck your balls and spread her ass open like a geometry compass? How, Andy?

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Don't you bang that gavel at me, you sanctimonious Jesus freak. You know, your long skirt isn't long enough lady. I saw your fat ankles. Calf, right into ankle. Cankles!

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I can't go to prison. There's no sushi in prison. Unless you count dick!

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At what point does CPR become necrophilia?

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Nobody likes your wife, you don’t even like her. I could stand up on that podium tomorrow night and take a shit on one of those Make A Wish cancer kids, and people still vote for me. ‘Cause they hate your wife…and I’m likable.

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Roisin's 21st
- scary old man on bus "It's so hot in here!!!" (please don't sit beside me...)
- waiting YEARS for the 145
- scary drunk man with exposed crack AND massive deep cut with burst stitches who kept trying to talk to us
- stupid annoying Foxrock (?) girls "Stephanie! Stephanie! Are you getting off at Loreto???"
- "Did that sign say Bray 7km?? Shit!"
- LAL!
- finally getting to Roisin's
- leaving immediately to get drink
- living on the edge on our journey to Cornelscourt
- "So that's what took him so long..." "It's ok. It doesn't taste like that" - Catherine's spermy wedges
- evil cyclist
- FINALLY GETTING TO ROISIN'S
- "You've been lying down for ages! Why are you dribbling???"
- words were very very funny
- "Put some jive in yo drink!!!"
- Margerita! Margerita! Dananananananana etc
- "Joey sing in your Avril voice!"
- I'm the one, I'm the one who wears the pants!
- Steve walking into the glass door
- hiccups
-belching
- Never mind!
- "It tastes like bubblegum!"
- "Hiiiiii... what's your name? How old are you? You're soooooo cute"
- Paedophilia
- My bucket story
- the Lisbon Treaty
- waiting YEARS for the 145 while everyone else got taxis into town
- thinking I'd drank most of my shoulder of vodka only to discover it was still 3/4 full - woooo bus boozin!
- stupid D4 guys giving us filthy looks for singing, yet treating us to "Fitzy wears a sports bra! Fitzy wears a sports bra! Dananana hey! Dananana hey!"
- "Brendan! Take us to an ATM!"
- "...this is the boys' toilet"
- inability to NOT spill cider all over everyone and everything
- "How did I get blood on my tights?!?"
- Eoin picking me up, causing me to flash the entire Hub
- "What the... OHMYGOD! Look! That IS random! "
- "Catherine! That guy is naked!" "Hahahahaha...." *five minutes later* "*gasp* Lyndsay! Did you see the naked guy??!"
- "Looooook!!!!! I can touch the ceiling!!!!!!!"
- the nicest bar tenders in the world ever
- extreme giddiness
- hot dogs
- stupid drunk man that Catherine wanted to fight (hehe...)
- Yeah... sure... whatever...
- the nicest taxi driver in the world ever
- "Joey... joey.... joey why are you ignoring us... Joey we know you're there... we can see your light... joey....."
- waking Johanna
- sleeping for two hours
- breakfast & Nickelodeon & School of Rock

Me and Joey's SantoBOLD adventure
-But you diiiiiiiiiiiiiiiid deserve the DADA'
-'That's the bank that Johanna thought was a pub and then fell down the steps'
-'My favourite part was when Santogold through a cup at the Australians'
-'Can I have a bt of your drink?
No.
Why not?
Cos it's mine and I need it all'
-'Someone threw a cigarette at me!'
-'Let's find the Bloc Party DJ set'
-'Let's make friends!'
-'This is Tripod?!'
- Joey, the Bacon Double Cheeseburglar

Goreyfest 2008: The BBQ Edition
- breaking it down in Susan's sitting room e.g. Get Your Freak On... Sound of the Underground... sure what else would we be doing?!
- not leaving Susan's house 'til half 12
- being tucked up in bed by 2am
- not being able to find our way in to the club
- not being able to find our way OUT of the club
- the national anthem being played at the end of the night
- Susan getting sick
- Susan shushing us
- our walk in the Courtown woods
- "Take a sexy one of me with the tree!"
- foooooood

Ballybunion
- sweaty
- JDs
- green marker
- apple bottom jeans
- me and johanna's scary lesbian!
- being tricked by underagers...

LUAS pub crawl with the office
- still standing after 10 pints of Bulmers...

Eoin and Steve's 21st
- random lunch in Dundrum
- cocktails in the wool shed
- "Ay yo PETEY! Two straight up!"
- trying to find hot Austrailians and failing miserably
- the most roundabout way to Skerries EVER
- me and susan stealing alcohol before finding out there was a load of free beer outside
- the bonfire
- photos that we have no recollection of
- the scary peop

my 18th
- late for my own dinner
- crying a lot
- doncha wish your girlfriend was hot like me
- sitting on a bathroom sink while Amy Sheehy tried to take a load of glass out of my foot

my 19th
- late...again
- Grace wearing the SAME DRESS AS ME
- waaaaaay too many shots
- drinking the boys under the table
- Seanie knocking me over and hitting my head off the door
- "I'm staying 'til the end! TIL THE END!"
- hot barry giving me a kiss on the cheek
-"Your eyelashes are soooo looooong... LICK MY FINGER!"
- slamming the door in Linda's face, opening it to get my shoes back and then slamming it again
- hiding in the bathroom so my mom wouldn't see how drunk I was
- locking myself into the bathroom and having to hand the key out the window to my mom then accusing her of locking me in
- attempting to drive myself to work the next morning
- my dad confiscating my car keys
- still drunk on my way home from work

my 20th
- dancing on the couches with pints of vodka
- thinking I was in Doyles for 10 mins but actually being there for a lot, lot longer
- getting the rickshaw thingys to Crawdaddy
- "I don't believe in slave labour!"
- me and Linda losing two hours of our life forever and still having no idea where we went or what we did
- trying to get all Linda's crap to Heuston the next morning
- "Linda... what was his name?"
- being way too hungover to properly continue the celebrations the following night...

my 21st
- who knows...