Dear Husband:

I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you for good.
I've been a good woman to you for seven years and I have nothing to show for it. These last two weeks have been hell.

Your boss called to tell me that you had quit your job today and that was the last straw. Last week, you came home and didn't notice that i had gotten my hair and nails done, cooked your favourite meal and even wore a brand new negligee.

You came home and ate in two minutes, and went straight to sleep after watching the game. you don't tell me you love me anymore, you don't touch me or anything.

Either you're cheating or you don't love me anymore. Whatever the case is, I'm gone.

P.S. If your trying to find me, don't. You BROTHER and I are moving away to West Virginia. Have a great life!

Your Ex-wife!


~ The Saga Continues ~
Dear Ex-wife
Nothing has made my day more than receiving yoru letter. It's true that you and I have been married for seven years, alothough a good woman is a far cry from what you've been.

I watch sports so much to try to drown out your constant nagging. Too bad that doesn't work. I did notice when you cut all of your hair last week, the frist thing that came to mind was "You like just like a man!" Mymother raised me to not say anything if you can't say anything nice.

When you cooked my favourte meal, you must have gotten me confused with MY BROTHER, because I stopped eating pork seven years ago.
I went to sleep on you when you had on that new negligee because the price tage was still on it. I prayed that it was a coincidence that my brother had just borrowed fifty dollars from me that morning and your negligee was $49.99.
After all of this, I still loved you and felt that we could work it out.
So, when i discovered that I had hit the lotto for 10 Million dollars, I quit my job and bought us two tickets to Jamaica. But when I got home you were gone.

Everything happens for a reason I guess. I hope you have the filling life you always wanted. My lawyer said with your letter that you wrote, you won't get a dime from me. So take care!

P.S. I don't know if I ever told you this but Carl, my brother was born Cala. I hope that's not a problem

Signed Rich As Hell and Free!

Did You Know...


If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee.
(Hardly seems worth it.)


If you farted consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb.
(Now that's more like it!)


The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps out to the body to squirt blood 30 feet.
(O.M.G.!)


A pig's orgasm lasts 30 minutes.
(In my next life, I want to be a pig.)


A cockroach will live nine days without its head before it starves to death. (Creepy.)
(I'm still not over the pig.)


Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour.
(Do not try this at home. Maybe at work.)


The male praying mantis cannot copulate while its head is attached to its body. The female initiates sex by ripping the male's head off.
("Honey, I'm home. What the....?!")





The flea can jump 350 times its body length. It's like a human jumping the length of a football field.
(30 minutes... lucky pig. can you imagine??)


The catfish has over 27,000 taste buds.
(What could be so tasty on the bottom of a pond?)



Some lions mate over 50 times a day.
(I still want to be a pig in my next life...quality over quantity)


Butterflies taste with their feet.
(Something I always wanted to know.)


The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue. (No comment!)


Right-handed people live, on average, nine years longer than left-handed people. (If you're ambidextrous, do you split the difference?)


Elephants are the only animals that cannot jump.
(OK, so that would be a good thing....................)


A cat's urine glows under a black light.
(I wonder who was paid to figure that out?)


An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.
(I know some people like that.)



Starfish have no brains.
(I know some people like that too.)


Polar bears are left-handed.
(If they switch, they'll live a lot longer.)


Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure.
(What about that pig??)


Now that you've smiled at least once, it's your turn to spread the stupidity and send this to someone you want to bring a smile to (maybe even a chuckle)...in other words send it to everyone.

Just Because I Can Be BITCHY Dosen't Mean I'm A BITCH

Just Because I'm LOUD Dosen't Mean I Don't Have Alot To SAY

Just Because I Appear HAPPY Doesn't Mean EVERYTHINGS OKAY

Just Because I'm SARCASTIC Doesn't Mean I Don't Take Things SERIOUSLY

Just Because I FORGIVE Doesn't Mean I FORGET

Just Because I Don't LISTEN To Your Problems Doesn't Mean I DONT CARE

Just Because I'm GULLIABLE Doesn't Mean I Can Be CHEATED

Just Because I'm STUBBORN Doesn't Mean I'm Not EASY GOING

Just Because I Don't STUDY Doesn't Mean I'm STUPID

Just Because I Get UPSET Doesn't Mean I'm SUICIDAL

Just Because I Don't LOVE You Doesn't Mean I Don't Have FEELINGS For You

Just Because I'm HONEST Doesn't Mean I'm OUT SPOKEN

Just Because I'm DIFFERENT Doesn't Mean I'm WEIRD

Just Because I'm UNSURE Doesn't Mean I'm AFRAID

Just Because You HATE Me Doesn't Mean I Don't MISS You