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| OK, This was an entry to a competition on www.tomecity.com. I had to write a story of 1997 Words or less, and it had to include this picture in it
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VOTING HAS FINISHED!!
The result was a 2-2 Tie for first place between myself and "Mephistopheles."
It was written in two parts, Daytime and Nighttime, and it revolves around two characters, Johnny and Linda. After completion of the competiton, I transferred the stry to the Interactive Stories District on the website, which means you can have your say in what happens next!!
Here is the link directly to the post on tome.
http://tomecity.com/smf/index.php/to...
To actually post on the forum, you'll have to register first, (which is completely free.)
My other short story in progress, Diary of a C*nt, is here: http://www.bebo.com/diaryofacnt/
To view my other work, go here: http://www.bebo.com/saintsstories/ Lovebite says: "Voting has finished and I tied for first place (Out of 2 entries, lol) it is nw an interactive story on Tome City, so expect Part 3 soon!" (44 weeks ago) me too! | Reply | Category
Fiction
URL
http://www.bebo.com/Love--bite
Profile Created
June 2008
Profile Views
61 times
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Review Other then the one typo i spotted, it was really good.
by Ice Phoenix 39 weeks agoDescriptions?... perfect.
you even described the house, which i find hard to do,
Like the review below, i didnt see the vampire thing coming, but good stories are supposed to be unpredictable
*thumbs up*
^_^
NicTei Reviews: Review Requested Well, I didn't see the whole 'vampire' part coming. I was starting to get a little curious when the house had transformed and a figure walked through a wall, but I was guessing 'haunted house,' not 'vampire fiesta.'
by NicTei 43 weeks agoAnyways, I only saw a couple of problems. One was that you used the number '9' instead of the word 'nine.' Low numbers are supposed to be written. Also, a sentence states 'He liked hardly anything better...' when it would be easier read as 'He liked nothing better...' And, though it only happened once, there was an unneccesary capital letter.
'even now, he thought, He still...' That should either be:
'even now, he thought, he still...' or 'even now, he thought, 'I still...'
Other than those errors, I really found nothing wrong with it. It is an interesting story that will, undoubtedly, get more interesting as it is written.
Keep writing!
5 Star!!!!!!!! That Story Is Awsome!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
by .'Unreal 47 weeks ago!!
Your A Great Writter!
Crazy WOW! I LOVE IT!!! but the only problem is you have to watch the spelling. and it isn't enough star rating up there to really rate what i feel!~ Man! you know what i'll give you a 10!
by Kisha L 51 weeks ago