Jesus Christ Timmy! Do not float over me when I'm dying in the Abyss! Float away from me, float away. Your son almost killed me with his uh, daffy duck raft over here, John.

[Stewie] Pass the cool wHip 'Wait the what?' Cool wHip 'Cool whip?' Yeah cool wHip, you put cool wHip on pies 'Yeah, but why are you putting so much emphasis on the 'h'?' Cool wHip 'Cool whip' cool wHip 'Cool whip' Cool 'You're eating hair!!'

I'm not a dog, you fat bastard!!

Olivia: You *are* the weakest link. Goodbye. Stewie;Aha ha ha. Oh, gosh that's funny. That's really funny. Do you write your own material? Do you? Because that is so fresh. You are the weakest link goodbye. You know, I've never heard anyone make that joke before. Mmm. You're the first. I've never heard anyone reference, reference that outside the program before. Because that's what she says on the show right? Isn't it? You are the weakest link goodbye. And yet, you have taken that and used it out of context, to insult me in this everyday situation. God what a clever, smart girl you must be, to come up with a joke like that all by yourself. Mmm, that's so fresh too. Any titanic jokes you want to throw at me while we're hitting these at the height of their popularity? Hmm? Cause... I'm here. God you're SO funny.

You so much as TOUCH kitty's ass, and I'll put a firecracker in your nutsack and blow your balls all over your pants.

I have to em go i have......Terrible foot odour.

(Peter is on a game show and has to guess letter) 'OK I will have a Q, another Q, and 3rd Q, a 4 and a batman sign'

My god you've got fat! . . . It's just like a foam matress . . . (Opening Lois' blouse) Look it's my face!

Dear Meg, for the first three years of your life I thought you were a house cat

You've just been Tomahawked! That's my show Tomahawked.

What the deuce !?

Our son wants to plough you!!

So you got my money? I want my money man, you got my money? I WANT MY MONEY BITCH

You know Mike Tyson once beat up his wife... but there's nothing funny about that... nyehehehehheheh

you SUCK!!!!!!!!!!

Giggity-Giggity-Goooo

Kenny's family is so poor that they had put their cardboard box up for a second mortgage

No your the ass master, there's a difference

What? There's nothing wrong with it... fuck fuckety fuck fuck fuck

If I were a towel would I be wearin' this hat and fake moustache?

OMG you just killed Kenny!!

SUCK MY BALLS KYLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You seem a little irritable, Kyle. You got some sand in your vagina?

How much for that fat guy in the circle, I don't see a price tag on that 'Peter that's you' Oh, embarrassing...