For some time many of us have wondered just who is Jack
Schitt?

We find ourselves at a loss when someone says, 'You don't
know Jack Schitt!' Well, thanks to my genealogy efforts, you
can now respond in an intellectual way.

Jack Schitt is the only son of Awe Schitt. Awe Schitt, the
fertilizer magnet, married O. Schitt, the owner of Needeep.
N. Schitt, inc. They had one son, Jack.

In turn, Jack Schitt married Noe Schitt. The deeply
religious couple produced six children: Holie Schitt, Giva
Schitt, Fulla Schitt, Bull Schitt, and the twins Deep Schitt
and Dip Schitt.

Against her parents objections, Deep Schitt married Dumb
Schitt, a high school drop out. After bring married 15years,
Jack and Noe Schitt divorced. Noe Schitt later married Ted
Sherlock, and because her kids were living with them, she
wanted to keep her previous name. She then known as Noe
Schitt Sherlock.

Meanwhile Deep Schitt married Loda Schitt, and they produced
a son with a rather nervous disposition named Chicken
Schitt. Two of the other 6children, Fulla Schitt and Giva
Schitt, were insperable throughout childhood and
subsequently married the Happens brothers in a dual
ceremony. The wedding announcement in the newspaper
announced the Schitt-Happens nuptuals. The Schitt-Happens
children were Dawg, Byrd and Horse.

Bull Schitt, the prodical son, left home to tour the world.
He recently returned from Italy with his new Italian bride,
Pisa Schitt.

Now when someone says, 'You don't know Jack Schitt', you can
correct them!

Those were the days...............

I'm talking about Hide and Seek in the park, the shop down the road,
Hopscotch, Donkey, Skipping, Handstands, stuck in the mud, football
with an old can, Dandy, Beano, Twinkle and Roly Poly.

Hula Hoops, jumping the stream, building a swing from a tyre and a
piece of rope tied to a tree, (If you live in Dublin, the lampost),
building tree-houses, climbing up onto roofs.

Tennis on the street, the smell of the sun and fresh cut grass.
Hubba Bubba bubble gum and 2p Flogs, macaroon bars and woppas, 3p
refreshers and wham bars, superhero chewing gum, golf ball chewing
gums and liquorice whips, Desperate Dan and Roy of the Rovers, Sherbit
dips and Mr. Freezes, Marathon bars and everlasting gobstoppers.

An ice cream cone on a warm summer night from the van that plays a
tune,chocolate or vanilla or strawberry or maybe neopolitan

Wait..............................
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Watching Saturday Morning cartoons...short commercials,
Battle of the Planets, Road Runner, He-Man, Swapshop, and Why Don't You?,
Transformers, How do you do?, Bosco, Forty-coats, the Littlest
Hobo and Lassie, Chucklevision, The Muppet Show, MacGyver, Scarecrow and
Mrs King, Little House on the Prairie and Highway to Heaven,
Or staying up late for Knight Rider and Magnum PI.

When around the corner seemed far away and going into town seemed
like going somewhere.

The only way to find out the time was to phone the operator from the phonebox!!

A million midget bites, sticky fingers and mud all over you,
knee-pads on your jeans, Cops and Robbers, Rounders, Tip the Can, Climbing trees,
Spin the bottle, building igloos out of snow banks.

Walking to school, no matter what the weather, Running till you were
out of breath, laughing so hard that your stomach hurt, jumping on the
bed, pillow fights, spinning around, getting dizzy and falling down was
cause for giggles.

Being tired from playing... Remember that? and then quenching your
thirst with a Soda Stream.

The worst embarrassment was being picked last for a team.

Water balloons were the ultimate weapon.

Football cards in the spokes transformed any bike into a motorcycle.

I'm not finished just yet...

Eating raw jelly, orange split ice pops.

Remember when...There were two types of sneakers - girls and boys and
Dunlop Green Flash and the only time you wore them at school was for
"P.E.", gola football boots.

It wasn't odd to have five or six "best" friends, when nobody owned
a
purebred dog, When 25p was decent pocket money, when you'd reach into
a muddy gutter for a penny.

When nearly everyone's mum was at home when the kids got there, when
it was considered a great privilege to be taken out to dinner at a real
restaurant with your parents .

When any parent could discipline any kid or use him to carry
groceries and nobody, not even the kid, thought a thing of it.

When being sent to the head's office was nothing compared to the fate
that awaited a misbehaving student at home. Basically, we were in fear
for our lives but it wasn't because of muggings, drugs, gangs, etc. Our
parents and grandparents were a much bigger threat!
and some of us are still afraid of them!!!


Remember when....
Decisions were made by going "eeny-meeny-miney-mo."
Mistakes were corrected by simply exclaiming,"do over!"
Race issue" meant arguing about who ran the fastest
Money issues were handled by whoever was the banker in "Monopoly" the
game of life and connect four, atari 2600's and commadore 64's,
The worst thing you could catch from the opposite sex was germs
It was unbelievable that British Bulldog wasn't an Olympic event...
Having a weapon in school, meant being caught with a biro barrel pe