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 | Best Of The Week (1 June) | 5/31/09 | |
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 Joke of the WeekWhat do you do if you see an Epileptic having a fit in the bath? Throw in your washing. Drink of the Week Apple Bite Why Apple Bites are winners: - They taste amaze; you can't even tell you're drinking something alcoholic. - They're way healthier than sugared-up RTDs. - They're cheap to buy in town ($5 at The Outback!), and even cheaper to mix up yourself at home. Ingredients: - Apple Sourz or a cheaper version - Vodka - Apple Juice - Rasberry cordial (optional) Preparation: 1. Measure 15ml of Apple Sourz into a glass with ice 2. Add 15ml of Vodka 3. Fill the rest of the glass up with apple juice 4. Optional - pour a wee bit of rasberry cordial down the side of the glass so that it sinks to the bottom (you should see a pink colour change in the lower half of the drink) 5. Add a straw and enjoy your fancy creation! Pick Up Line(s) of the Week Passable: - Person 1: Sorry, but you owe me a drink. Person 2: Why? Person 1: I looked at you and dropped mine. - I have had a really bad day and it always makes me feel better to see a pretty girl smile. So, would you smile for me? - To person leaving: Hey, where are you going? Answer: Home. You: You're not just gonna leave me here like this are you? - Listen to this: my friends over there said that I wouldn't be able to start a conversation with the most beautiful boy/girl in the bar. Want to buy some drinks with some of their money? - You see my friend over there? [Point to friend who waves from across the room] He wants to know if YOU think I'M cute. Cheese Alert: - I like your shirt/skirt/dress/top but it would look a lot better on my bedroom floor. - Do you work out 24 hours a day, or are you just naturally "built". - Is your dad in the Army? Cause' you're da bomb! - Do you believe in love at first sight or should I walk past again? - Person 1: Hey is your dad in jail? [In a real concerned way] Person 2: No, why do you ask? Person 1: I thought he would be, after stealing the stars from the sky and putting them in your eyes! - Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? - [In a relieved voice] Oh THERE you are...I've been looking for you all my life. - Were you busted by the police earlier? Because you have got FINE written all over you! Not a Chance in Hell: - Person 1: Hey, do you want to play army? Person 2: Sure. Person 1: Okay, you lie down and I'll blow the hell out of you! - The word of the day is legs. What do you say we go back to my place and spread the word? - I guess you'd regret it in the morning if we slept together. So how about we sleep together this afternoon? - Take an ice cube to the bar, smash it, and say, "Now that I've broken the ice, will you sleep with me?" - All this could be yours for one low, low price! NB: These were taken from the website of the week, check it out below... Tip of the Week Hangover Cure When you get home, drink a glass of water (or eat a piece of bread) for every alcoholic drink you consumed. By the morning, your stomach will have agreed with you! Or alternatively, mish it to an unhealthy fast-food store for some seriously greasy food. Website of the Week www.varsity.co.nz Still really lost when it comes to uni? This site can help you out. There's lots of funny shit eg. www.varsity.co.nz/content/view/1984/155/ | |||
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| Best Of The Week (25 May) | 5/23/09 | |
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| Pick Up Line of the Week "Your eyes are as blue as my toilet water at home." This is guaranteed to be a hit with any memeber of the opposite sex. Perhaps try it after they've had a few drinks. Shot of the Week Lemon Drop Ingredients: 1 1/2 oz vodka lemon wedge sugar Preparation: Pour vodka into a shot glass. Coat a lemon wedge with sugar. Drink the shot of vodka. Follow up immediately with a bite into the sugary lemon. Alternatively, coat the inside of a shot glass with lemon juice and pour sugar on top of the liquid. Shake out any loose sugar and juice. This leaves a sour, sugar coated shot glass that you then pour the vodka into and shoot. Drink of the Week Pear Ginger Beer Ingredients: 1pt Absolute Pears Ginger Beer Lime Wedge Preparation: Mix Ginger Beer and Absolute, squeeze lime wedge and leave in drink Yummo! Tip of the Week If you're a student living it up in the Halls at University don't pee in the showers! Joke of the Week Mavis went into the grocery store, grabbed a trolley, and started placing items inside it. She grabbed one apple, one banana, one bottle of water, one bag of chips, one loaf of bread, one bottle of milk, one packet of noodles, one box of crackers, one jar of jam, one can of deoderant and then headed to the checkout. As she went about paying for her items, the boy working on the checkout looked around at her items and then asked Mavis, "Are you single?" Mavis replied "Yes I am, how did you know?" The boy replied "Because you are fucking ugly"... | |||
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| Tips For Students | 5/22/09 | |
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| It's hard work, being a student. How do you live it up on next to nothing? Share your tips with other students! Click "Replys" below to check out what we have so far. | |||
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