Bebo

1. When she asks how she looks, shrug and say "could be better." This will keep her on her toes, and girls love that.

2. Never hold her hand. This can be interpreted as a sign of weakness. If she grabs your hand, squeeze hers really hard until she cries (this will impress her by showing her what a strong man you are).

3. Once a month, sneak up on her from behind and knock her over. Girls are like dogs; they love to be roughed up.

4. Call her in the middle of the night to ask if she's sleeping. If she is, say "you better be." Repeat this 4 or 5 times until morning. This will show her you care.

5. When she is upset about something, suggest to her that it might be her fault. This will pave the way for her own personal improvement, and every girl needs some improvement.

6. Recognise the small things, as they usually mean the most. Then when she's sleeping, steal all her small things and break them, because jewellery is for wussies and Asian ladies.

7. If you're talking to another girl, make sure she's looking. When she is, stare into her eyes, mouth the words "fuck you!" and grab the other girl's ass. Girls love competition.

8. Tell her you're taking her out to dinner. Drive for miles so she thinks it's going to be really special. Then take her to a burning tire yard. When she starts to get upset, tell her you were just kidding and now you're really going to take her to dinner. Then drive her home. When she starts crying and asks why you would do something like that, lean over and whisper very quietly into her ear "...because I can."

9. Introduce her to your friends as "some chick." Women love those special nicknames.

10. If she's mad at you for not calling her when you say you will, promise her that you will call her at a certain time of the day. This will make sure that she waits by the phone. Tell her when you call that you're going to tell her a special surprise. Now she'll be really pissed off when you don't call.

11. Warm her up when she's cold... and not by giving her your jacket, because then you might get cold. Rather, look her in the eye and say "if you don't stop bitching about the cold right now, you're going to be bitching about a black eye." The best way to get warm is with fear.

12. Take her to a party. When you get there, she'll have to go to the bathroom (they always do). Leave immediately. Come back right when the party is dying and yell at her the whole way home for ditching you all night.

13. Make her laugh. A good way to do this is if she has a small pet. Kick the pet. Guys always find stuff like that funny... why shouldn't girls?

14. Let her fall asleep in your arms. When she's fast asleep, wait 10 minutes, then jump up and scream in her ear. Repeat until she goes home and you can use your arms for more important things (like pumping iron).

15. Spit often. Girls like guys that spit.

16. If you care about her, never ever tell her. This will only give her self-confidence, then you can never turn her into the object she deep down desires to be.

17. Every time you're in her house, steal one of her shoes, earrings or anything else that comes in pairs. Only take one of the pair. This way, she'll go crazy.

18. Take her out to dinner. Right when she's about to order, interrupt and say "no, she's not hungry." Make her watch you eat. Girls love a guy that speaks for her.

19. Look her in the eyes and smile. Then punch her in the face. Girls love a spontaneous guy.

20. Give her one of your t-shirts, and make sure it has your smell on it (but not a sexy cologne smell... a bad smell. You know what I'm talking about).

21. When it's raining, keep asking her if she's crying. She'll say "no, it's just the rain." Ten minutes later, turn to her and just scream at her to stop crying. Girls like a tough man.

22. Titty twisters and plenty of them.

23. If you're listening to music, and she asks to hear it, tell her no. This way she'll think you're mysterious.

24. R

Disclaimer:
All Events described in this story happened under controlled circumstances and were preformed by trained idiots, no cardboard was harmed in the making of this legend.

So it goes like this,


The mighty "Heron" Electric go kart is not renowned for its handling prowess, but when at the hands of bored Mill workers wonderful things can happen.

What started as a in house joke led to me, Andrew, taking on the dark side (the fitters) in a winner take nothing grudge race.

What they didnt know was that I had "modified" my ride to be able to withstand mind numbing speeds of........ 25km/h (downhill).

So there we were, at the top of a rise with a 400m straight piece of dirt in front of us, the speedlimit you ask? 20km/h

We were off, I quickly established a lead of 1 go-kart length, I reached terminal velocity and the race looked sure to be mine as the fitter's kart floundered in my wake.

This was until I got cocky and looked back to check on my lead, I didnt see the bumps, or the pothole. And i didnt know that go-kart + jump = dead go-kart, although I found this out.
Herons can fly, its the landing that gets them.



So after collecting my broken and defeated "heron" with the forklift I thought about it, today was a epic day



*edit* this is the beast:
http://i5.photobucket.com/albums/y16...
http://i5.photobucket.com/albums/y16...

The A B Cs
A - Available: I dont care
A - Age: 19
A - Annoyance: Street Racers
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B - Best feature: They are all bad
B - Beer: Tui I guess
B - Birthday: 7th November
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C - Crush: Nup, never
C - Car: 1999 Honda Integra Type R
C - Career: Electrician/Instrumentation Technician
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D - Day or Night: Day
D - Dream Car: 1989 Ford Sierra RS500 Touring Car
D - Dogs or Cats: Cat
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E - Egg nog: Been there done that
E - E-mail: driftingstyles@hotmail.com
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F - Favorite color(s): Teal
F - Favorite food(s): Herb Potatoes
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G - Gummy Bears or Worms: Bears
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H - Hair Color: Brown
H - Happy: nope
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I - Instrument: Exhaust note
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J - Jewelry: Im not gangsta enough
J - Job: Apprentice Electrican
J - Jail: I would get shot
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K - Kids: Havnt thought about it
K - Kickboxing or Karate: To watch?
K - Kindergarten: The hardest thing I have ever done
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L - Longest Car Ride: Well the longest car I have been in was a Limo?
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M - Milk Flavor: Chocolate
M - Most Missed Memory: Not having a care in the world
M - Movie Last Watched: Hot Fuzz
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N - Number of Siblings: 1
N - Number of Tattoos: None
N - Nickname(s): Wally (imaginative isnt it?)

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O - One Wish: 3 more wishes
O - One Regret: Only one?
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P - Piercings: Nah
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R - Reason to smile: I have something few other people in NZ have, a silver Type R
R - Reality TV Show: I dont watch much TV
R - Religion: Has no proof
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S - Song Last Heard: Love Hurts - Incubus
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T - Time you woke up: 6:15am
T - Time Now: 6:41pm
T - Time for bed: Whenever I feel like it, probably early
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U - Unpredictable: Cake, you didnt expect that
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V - Vegetable you hate: Onion
V - Vacation spot: Long Bay, Coromandel
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W- Worst habit: Chewing my finger nails
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X - X-Ray: Yep broke my elbow and teeth
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Y - Year it is now: 2008
Y - Yellow: Spoon?
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Z - Zoo Animal: Duck
Z - Zodiac Sign: Scorpio