Read Chapters

1.She's Falling Apart See below
2.Out Of My Mind Read it Now
3.Everybody HurtsRead it Now
4.Heal Over Read it Now
5.ON HOLDRead it Now

She's Falling Apart
 
She’s Falling Apart

“They pull up their chairs to the table
She stares at the food on her plate
At the toast and the butter
Her father, her mother, she pushes away

And they rise in the morning
And they sleep in the dark
And even though nobody's looking
She's falling apart

She gets home from school too early
And closes the door to her room
There's nothing inside her
She's weak and she's tired of feeling like this

And they rise in the morning
And they sleep in the dark
And even though nobody's looking
She's falling apart

They call her for dinner, she makes up a reason
She looks at her arms and she rolls down her sleeves
And her mother is starting to see through her lies
And last night her father had tears in his eyes

And they rise in the morning
And they sleep in the dark
And even though nobody's looking
She's falling apart

And we rise in the morning
And we sleep in the dark
And even though nobody's looking
She's falling apart”

Have you ever had to do something you really didn’t want to do to save someone you love? It’s hard and easy all at the same time. Hard because you don’t really want to do it, I really hated doing it. It’s easy because you love them so much and it’s partly my fault anyway. I sat and the dinner table staring down at my poor wrists and my ivory skin covered it the horrid white scars. They’d fade with time I’d made sure they weren’t too deep but deep enough to be convincing. My parents were taking their sweet time working out what was wrong with me after their bright, happy and strong daughter was suddenly quiet, sad and weak. Of course I wasn’t really I was acting it was something I was very good at and I hated lying to them and making them worry but there was nothing else I could do.
My names Brea Smith I’m one of five children and I’m the middle child. I’m 16 and I have loads of friends but only one person in the world that is like one of my sisters. Her name is Jennifer Long and we grew up together we had an impenetrable bond like blood. She was always there for me and in turn I was always there for her. I failed her I never noticed how depressed she was after her boyfriend Oz got killed in a motorcycle accident. We’d all been too caught up in our own grief and that’s when she started cutting herself. When her parents finally noticed they sent her to a hospital for help and I’d done nothing. It was my fault she sunk so far down because I never noticed well it was now time for my turn save her from sinking.
Which meant getting into that hospital after all she wasn’t allowed visitors, I’d tried getting in many times. I gave up trying months ago because it would look too suspicious if I was admitted too soon after my performance in the reception.
So right now I’m not me I’m some other Brea depressed and tormented because she’s lost her best friend (me, Jen and Oz were all best friends) and her other best friend is gone to. She cuts herself to ease the pain she want the world to swallow her up and everybody hates her (according to her I know I’m loved really). I try my best not to allow myself to fall into her trap Dark Brea could take over if I’m not careful that’s why at night I’m myself.
At night I allow myself to slip on a pair of pink pretty socks on under the black ones and listen to all the great happy songs on my iPod and I dream my own dreams. But during the day I’m in character and I’d do my drama teacher proud because I had whole world fooled.
I covered my wrists with my school jumper after all Dark Brea doesn’t want anyone to notice because it’s not like anyone cares anyway. Whereas I do so I can give up ruining myself I’d never get an acting job with these ugly scars. Heal scars, Heal! I willed them. I stared at my food like it was the most repulsive thing in the world, and I was starving I’d have to wait for my private stash later. I have to look like I don’t want to eat either which was making me thin because snack food weren’t making up for the missed meals.
I played with my food then slid my chair back nosily so everyone’s eyes were on me, they were getting used to it now. Then I curled a lock of chocolate brown hair behind my ear so my sleeve fell down my wrist revealing a fresh cut red sore a pain in the backside. Why is it so hard to look suicidal? My Mum stared at my wrist in horror. I quickly covered it up as if I didn’t want her to notice.
“Brea what have you done to yourself?” she gasped.
I hated seeing her in so much pain.
“Nothing” I said in a dull uninterested tone.
She grabbed my wrist and pulled my sleeve up my arm and her face twisted in pain.
“Not you too Brea” she said crying.
I felt my heart break but my face stayed blank. The sun is still out I reminded myself keep it together. Any relief I should have felt at finally being discovered was drowned out by the pain I felt for my family.
Review this Story >>>