Read Chapters

1.All my newer things, I ran out of room.See below
2.More New OnesRead it Now
3.Me And Him in the Light of the Depths/Me By MyselfRead it Now
4.No One Is Listening/ Just a Little BitRead it Now
5.A Sacrament of Sorrow (this was wrote to someone I thought who cared)Read it Now
6.Everything In the Middle (‘O, What it is)?Read it Now
7.I Gave You My Heart; You Gave Me The Duct TapeRead it Now
8.My Little Sunflower is WiltingRead it Now
9.Since Everybody Is Plastic Now (my song)Read it Now
10.The Things You Never Ever SaidRead it Now
11.Stay With MeRead it Now
12.Well That Explains A Lot (And I Kind of Hate You For it)Read it Now
13.This Bird; It Died. (Like Our Love After 7 Months)Read it Now
14.To The One I Think I Love the MostRead it Now
15.If You Sing for Me, I’ll Sing for YouRead it Now
16.The Life I Wish I LeadRead it Now
17.A Kiss From YouRead it Now
18.the soul without a soulRead it Now
19.It’s Cold Outside TodayRead it Now
20.Under This Willow TreeRead it Now
21.Walking by Oneself at NightRead it Now
22.Everything About You is FlawlessRead it Now
23.The Cry of the RavenRead it Now
24.my plea of sanity will keep me wholeRead it Now
25.I Hurt Myself AgainRead it Now

All my newer things, I ran out of room.
 
I cannot sleep
knowing that I
might have
done something wrong.

I cannot breathe
knowing that I
may not be able
to talk to you today.

I cannot live
without your
hand in mine,
your presence in my life.

I will not live
without seeing
your smiling
face looking at me.

Please...
Can you forgive
me?
Will you?
Baby, I really love you.
Do you love
me too?
I didn’t think so...//
At least he was honest when I wasn’t


*The Ground I Walk On*
People.
People everywhere.
Wishing,
watching,
are they
hoping?

Noise.
There is all
this noise.
Is it the
people talking?
I do not
understand a
word of it.
Nothing makes
sense,
all these people
I liked
hated me,
everyone is
so selfish.

But [then] ...

I glance to my side
[and]
there you stand.

Holding my
hand,
telling me I am
okay,
that you will love
me no matter
what [everyone else]
thinks.
How do they
see me?
Do they even
see me?
How could
[they]?

I am not
the same
as them.

Falling,
failing,
indecisive.
They are
horrid.
Whining,
wailing,
I will
not listen
to it anymore.

They are up
to something,
though
of what
who knows.

This is the
[END].//


*Sunset at Noon*
I was gone
for a second
and I missed
you the
most I have
ever missed
anybody.
Every being
in my body
missed the
way your
hand felt in
mine.
The moment I
felt the
world clash
down on me.
It is better
off this way,
so much
better with
you,
not him.

I was going to
walk,
but I ended up
sprinting towards
you,
the light you
posses,
drove me
to the
core of insanity.
My head is
spinning,
my heart is
pounding.
All I need,
all I could
ever want,
you posses
in your
futile existence.

The world is
not against
you,
you have a
reason to
live.
You used to
not think
you did not
have a
friend because
of my cowardice.
I apologized
more than
once.
‘Twas confusing,
not knowing who I
loved.
I thought
my life was
dedicated
to him,
but he deserted me.
He killed me
but he
did not
even seem
to care.
Well now
I have found
you and now,
I only need you.//
7-21-07


*I Won’t Forgive You*
Yeah,
well,
you better hold
on to this
feeling
while my heart
explodes.
The police were
wrong when
they said
you had better
judgement.
What ever did
you do
besides
fill
everyone
so full
of hate?...
No one
likes you,
can you
not see?
You are worthless,
completely
[NOTHING].
You were
born that way,
and you sure
as hell will
[DIE] that way too.
G’night.//
7-23-07

July 30, 2007
*This Time, the Silence is Different*
So timid,
were we.
Would we take
a step forward,
or two steps
aback?

I had a
dream,
breathing in the
sweetness
of your neck.
The softness
of your cheek.
Oh,
‘tis the
imperfect
salvation.
One of
the best
dreams,
one of
the sweetest.
But it just
makes me miss
you even more.
I am unsure
if I can wait
six more
days for you.
Can I handle the
pressure?
Will I?

I have never
missed one
lone
person this
much.
It drives
me crazy.
I want to
see you....
I have to.
If I do not,
I think I will
not live.
Life just
would not be
the same without you.
So timid,
were we.
Would we take
a step forward,
or two steps
aback?//


July 30, 2007
*My Heart Full Of Spiders*
Just know
that whilst
you sit in
your world,
I sit in mine,
weeping.

The owl
screams,
its howl of
agony
echoing
through the mahogany
of the trees.
Not caring
if you are living
or breathing,
you are oblivious.

Oh,
behold the
magnificent
damaged.
The lost
of the found,
the living of
the dead.
The something
of the forgotten.

The poetic voices,
howling,
hoaxing,
you better watch
your back,
boy.
Is he bleeding?
Is he dying?
Do I care?
Do you care?

You better
watch your back,
boy.
It is midnight,
and like always,
you are all alone.
No one will
ever care.
If you want
to kill people,
I hope you
have fun getting
caught
because I refuse
to sit here
and keep my
mouth shut.//


July 31, 2007
*This Weighs on Me*
She sits,
practically absorbed
in the mirror
she holds in
her fragile hands.
She could ruin
everything,
that pretty little
face can
be fixed.
Some scissors
and a needle.
Snip,
snip,
snip.
Off goes her hair.
Cut,
cut,
cut.
Was that
her eyelids?
Maybe now
she will
be ugly.
Maybe now
no one
will say
“Hi you are
beautiful,
would you like
to be mine
even though
your personality
is the
saddest thing
I have ever seen?”
Oh,
how true they
would have been.
Debating suicide,
her face
bleeds.
What was she thinking?
Monster.
That is she.
Who else
could have done
this and felt
[no pain]
at all?
Her face all a mess,
she climbs
in the tub,
razorblade
to the side.
Wearing a mask
and a hat,
she tears at her skin
once more.
Her wrists bleed,
she sighs
with success.
Will she succeed?
We shall see.
We shall see.
Shall we see?//

The Whispers Inside of Me
*August 6, 2007*
“Alone,”
cries the
devil to
the crow.
It is wonderful
you do not
feel anything,
the twisting
of limbs,
the breaking
of bones,
the spray
of blood.
It is good
you do not
feel alive.

Let us look,
what have
you become?
You are not
human,
oh no,
not anymore.
Do you
bleed,
do not breathe,
you do
not need to.
You will not
mind the
torture.
For,
look what
you have
done already.
You have
done the
damage.
You have
ruined yourself.
You are why
you are friendless.
Accept it.
Change yourself.
I do not care
what you do
anymore.
Try to find a
place,
a clique for
you.
Good luck,
I do not think
there is a
group for the
dead.//

Eating Him
*August 6, 2007*
I spend my
time loathing
you,
you try to help
yet all you do
is annoy me.
You are a
seductive liar.
Compulsive even.
You seem to
want to help
by making things
worse.
You must
be at ease
with hate,
seeing as I
cannot bare
to like you.
The wolves
tear at your
flesh,
eating,
feeding,
feasting.
I watch
with interest.
I hope it
hurts like
hell.
I could stop
them,
I really
should.
But I do
not care
anymore.
It feels
exactly like
what you did
to me.
You killed
me so I
am paying
you back.

Are you tired
yet,
my dear?
Oh,
I hope it
hurts you
forever.
The growl
of those
beasts
eating every
last bite
of you is
the sweetest
chorus.
Your scream
is the perfect
noise.
Cry!
Yes;
cry!
You will
never live
again.

What a selfish bitch.//

The Cut Wasn’t Deep Enough
*August 6, 2007*
You can
run from
the police
straight to
the razor blade,
no one
would call
your name.
No one would
have the
guts to forget
it.
You will not
be missed,
you are too
different.
You are not
the same
as everyone
else,
therefore you
are unacceptable.

I will remember you.

Please remember me too.//


You Are All I Need
*August 6, 2007*
No words could
ever describe
the way I
feel about
you.
I think
about you
all the
time.
Even in my
sleep,
there is not a
night I
do not dream
of you.
There is not
a night
that I do not
wish I
was in your
arms.
Oh my love,
how you speak
to me
makes my
heart bleed.
I just need
to see you
right now.
That is all I
care about.//
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