Bebo

The Divine Church of the Guitar <guitarchurch>

"The Guitar God is watching you all"

	The 10 Commandments!	206 weeks ago
	This is the 10 commandments passed down to us mere mortals by the Guitar God 1. Jazz III picks are the Lords shape, derived from the shape of his very fingers 2. Thou shalt worship Alexi Laiho, Oli Herbert, Rustey Cooley, and the other prophets who have been enlightened by the power of 'The Shred' and 'The Metal' 3. Tho art never to decend to those such as 'Scouting for Girls' or 'The Jonas Brothers', for the lord made girls scream for their simple melodies to test your faith. For each minute of this you create, warrents 1000 years torture in the deepest levels of hell. Keep faithful to the technicality of 'The Shred' and the power of 'The Metal', only then shall you be truely holy. 4. Honour thy bassist. Although many cannot feel the power of 'The Shred', true enlighted music cannot be achieved without their pulse. 5. On your chosen vessel to greatness, thou must honour, use, understand and worship the 24th fret. If your vessel does not have the capacity, then thou must sacrifice it and begin anew. 6. Honour thy distortion and thy volume. Remember that, Volume needed to sound good is inversly proportial to your penis size. This does of course reverse itself for women... for they shall grow one at an equal rate. 7. Thou shalt not abuse sweep picking in an unartistic or stale way, for this is the second greatest sin of all. A special level of hell is reserved for only these sinners. 8. If thou cannot play cleanly, then thou cannot play at all. Practice thine accuracy until your fingers weep. 9. The scales were handed down by the lord. They are blessed. So remember the modes and obscure scales, for they shall rise you above the others in greatness. 10. Thou must never state self greatness, or bestow on ones self the title of 'Guitar God', those who do are destined to fall from greatness. You may only reach the true title of 'Guitar God' by the proclamation of the other enlightened masses. These are our 10 holy commandments, let them be so.
	posted by The Divine Church of the Guitar