Bebo

Adrian Redding <AdrianR9465>

"The Real R"

	Comin back from rock bottom	544 jours il y a
	In the ghetto you’ve got two families. Your real family who brought you up… who love you and share a bond with you. Then there’s your road family. They may not be your blood but that doesn’t matter - if you aven’t got people you can rely on to have your back and sort things out, then you aven’t got much. Not havin that protection means that you’re just another neek in the street ready to get taken out. Loyalty to your fam is everythin in the game. One stormy night in November my crew went to rob this drug dealer they'd caught out in our turf. They wanted to rob him and make an example of him for selling shit on our patch. I went along coz i knew there was hard cash involved. I didnt care who it was... I was out for that dough. we jumped him quickly to make sure he didn't get a chance to use any weapons. I knocked him to the ground and started layin into him, dragged his hoodie off his head to get a picture of this so called 'top dealer' battered an bruised to bluetooth it to other dealers. that was our trademark. I looked down to take the pic and realised it was my older brother derek. I hadn’t seen him since he got sent down. One of the boys started flashing a knife at him, tellin him he was about to get cut. I couldn’t believe it... my brother... the boy I grew up and wanted to be like was about to get shanked. So I panicked and told everyone to chill, then they got mad suspicious. I couldn’t cover it up so I just pleaded with them to jus let him go. Next thing I know they’re up in my face telling me I’m a snake and saying they should sort us both out... So they did. Just like that. I woke up in a hospital bed in mad pain. Only one of my eyes opened. When I felt for my other eye I could feel my skin had completely swollen up. Apparently I was out cold for two days. The ringleader of my gang came to visit me in hospital. He wernt there when the madness happened, but he let me know the crew was vex. He gave me two choices... either have beef with the crew or work off the debt by payin back the money they wudda made from Dereks drugs. I knew people who would take the drugs, and i wernt looking to get shot, so I started dealing for nothin. Eventually I linked up with my bro who survive the attack. we talked about everything. I resented him though, and i blamed him. How can he just gonna come out of prison an not holla??? then start doing his own thing back on the roads. I know him an my mum aint cool but he cudda at least told his lil bro when he got out of jail. He told me he wernt part of no gang any more, sed some crap about dealing again just to make ends meet. I realised that we didn’t have anyone except each other. Yeah it was like the old days but that didnt make things alright. Some one called the police about the madness me an Derek had with the crew. I was mad. people snitchin meant the crew were gonna be on my back for sure. i got in touch with feds an told them straight that I weren’t snitchin on noone. They tried to make me talk bare times but i wasnt looking to get my head kicked in again so i just left it. When i was at hospital i met an ex gang member called Kyle who used to be in my brothers crew. He was a nurse. That got me maddddd thinking. He was a hard dealer an he had status on road. now here he was dressing my wounds. I knew that if anyone could help me leave the roads behind and get back on my feet it would be him. Me an Kyle spoke an he sed he'll help me but only coz i was Derek's brother an he still had his back. I knew he didnt mind helping me but i knew if i let him down i'd be on my own. Kyle started taking me to local community groups. They were a joke as far as i was concerned. Mans like me cant just be seen sitting around a table expressin ma problems. I tried to tell Kyle but he started actin all dodgy tellin me im wastin his time an to get back on the roads if i aint interested. the choice between the safe community group an the roads wasnt a hard one to make. All im sayin is that its a good thing that i chose the community group coz after a while it started gettin good and i really started learnin something. only reason i didnt like it was coz i was new to it. but yeah either way it was a good look. My mentor was sick aswel; she always listened to me and made me think about what I wanted to do in life an how i was gonna achieve stuff. Kyle still had my back aswel. Derek wernt involved he went back to the streets i dont even see him nomore but thats a whole next story. Kyle always chats to me about what caused our gang involvement. obviously i sed it was all about gettin money and gettin it quick. I remember him asking me whose fault it was that i couldnt get money legit, and I told him exactly who... the government's. thats when i fort rah i was doing all the gang stuff with an anger towards the streets and police when they tried to stop me from making money but really that anger shoulda been put towards doing something to make the government listen so other youths dont have to follow the same path. I aint gonna say politics was something i'd ever really cared for but It was around this time I got interested in it. The first big thing I did was to set up a forum that got kids to say what they thought would make life better in the ghetto. Then I sent all the responses to Downing St. along with a personal profile about myself an my life on the roads. i knew if i showed them i was changing an showed them how to help others change they might do summat. I had to make them understand for those who got caught up an dont have a Kyle to get them straightened out. Where i'm from you tend to grow up thinkin you have to be Tony Blair to get heard but when I put my ideas for youth clubs and jobs for youths forward people actually listened and get involved. i aint gonne lie i was shocked. I dont even know what was motivating me at the time, but whatever it was i was loving it. Before I didn't have hope. But now I see that with the right mentality things can change for the better. Not just for me, but for the youths of tomorrow.
	posté par Adrian Redding