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Wizard Inn <WizardI26>

"The Cosmic Cauldron Guru"

	Words of Wisdom Vol 1	496 días hace
	TOUCHED BY THE GODS If you know someone who is: Clairvoyant This person "Sees Things". This could mean that the person in question (is): 1/ Actually Psychic. 2/ Needs to see an Optometrist 3/ Needs to see their Psychiatrist and have their medication either increased or decreased 4/ Has to stop drinking to excess as they are obviously Alcoholic. Clairaudient This person "Hears Things". This could mean that the person in question (is): 1/ Actually Psychic 2/ Has a undiagnosed psychological/ mental illness. 3/ Has a diagnosed psychological/ mental illness (quickly check for weapons such as sharp knives, axes etc and then run). 4/ Is on far to much prescribed medication. 5/ Is on illegal drugs. Clairsentient This person "Feels Things". This could mean that the person in question (is): 1/ Indeed Psychic. 2/ Has Wind or Gastric Reflux (refer also to clairgustant). 3/ May have an ulcer. 5/ Probably haunted. Clariscentrient This person "Smells Things". This could mean that the person in question (is): 1/ Is obviously "sensitive" or has an acute sense of smell. 2/ Big nosed. 3/ Sticking their nose in other people's business. 4/ Suffering from bad personal body odour. 5/ Has their nose firmly up someone else's arse. Clairgustant This person "Tastes Things". This could mean that the person in question (is): 1/ Maybe psychic 2/ Possibly suffering from a Autism Spectrum Disorder and has acute sense of taste. 3/ Hasn't cleaned their teeth for quite a while. 4/ Talks a lot of shit/ suffers from verbal diarrhoea. Either the person in question is Psychic or Psycho. Judge for yourself when meeting them in person and don't just take their word for it. My suggestion is never shake hands with a person with an axe or a sharp knife in their other hand. THE ZEN OF SARCASM 1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either. Just pretty much leave me alone. 2. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and leaky tire. 3. It's always darkest before dawn. So if you're going to steal your neighbour's newspaper, that's the time to do it. 4. Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted. 5. Always remember that you're unique. Just like everyone else. 6. Never test the depth of the water with both feet. 7. If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments. 8. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes. 9. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is probably not for you. 10. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day. 11. If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably a wise investment. 12. If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything. 13. Some days you're the bug; some days you're the windshield. 14. Everyone seems normal until you get to know them. 15. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket. 16. A closed mouth gathers no foot. 17. Duct tape is like 'The Force.' It has a light side and a dark side, and it holds the universe together. 18. There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works. 19. Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your lips are moving. 20. Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it. 21. Never miss a good chance to shut up. 22. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night PAGAN PARADISE There's these three guys that rock up to the gates of heaven. St Peter checks each of their names, none are in his book, so he directs them to the mass of gardens that surround heaven. "Follow this path and it will take you to Hells Gate" The three men follow the path past beautiful waterfalls, through an enormous forest, and around manicured flower beds. At the end of the path they find a small fiery demon with his own book. The demon checks their names. All their names are in his book. One is an adulterer, another a blasphemer, the third is a heathen. First the adulterer is invited behind the desk to a door, behind the door is a chute with flames coming from it, leading to the pits of hell. As the door is opened he is drawn into it with a whimper. Another door appears for the blasphemer, it is opened and his limbs are torn from him, finally, screaming in terror, his torso and head disappear through the foul passage. Then, the demon goes back to his book..... The heathen, in fear, asks what is to become of him. Laughing, the demon explains.... "My friend, you have the run of the place. Those two were Christians, they wouldn't have it any other way. Welcome to the Summerlands. You may await your time of rebirth here, but please, stay away from the fenced off area. YHWH gets bit upset if those others realise they are locked in and it can take the other Gods weeks to calm him down."
	escrito por Wizard Inn