Bebo

Katrina McClafferty <xxDollSnatch>

""Live free or die" - Edinburgh Hobo Society"

	Jack Bauer - My Favourate bit of American Cheese	1010 giorni fa
	Everytime Jack Bauer smiles, a terrorist loses his balls If Jack Bauer were gay, he would be Chuck Norris Jack Bauer could get off the Lost island in 24 hours. Jack and Jill went up the hill. Only Jack came down. Jill was a fucking terrorist. If Jack Bauer was in a room with Hitler, Stalin, and Nina Meyers, and he had a gun with 2 bullets, he'd shoot Nina twice. 1.6 billion Chinese are angry with Jack Bauer. Sounds like a fair fight. Jack Bauer sleeps with a gun under the pillow. But he could kill you with the pillow. When Kim Bauer lost her virginity, Jack found it and put it back. When life hands Jack Bauer Lemons, he kills Terrorists. Jack Bauer fuckin' hates lemonade. Jack Bauer doesn't miss. If he didn't hit you it's because he was shooting at another terrorist twelve miles away. As a boy, Jack Bauer interrogated his parents on Easter until they revealed the location and contents of each hidden egg. After running out of ammo, Jack stood in the line of fire, took 3 shots to the chest, and used them to reload. Nostradamus once predicted in his journal: "In the century 21st, the one known as Jacques will be the savior of the world... five seasons in a row." Moments later, Jack Bauer knocked down the door, shot Nostradamus in the kneecaps, and yelled "WHO ARE YOU WORKING FOR?!" On Jack Bauers Tax Returns, he has to claim the entire world as his dependants. Jack Bauer has no friends, because as a child when he would play cops and robbers, the robbers would all be interogated and killed. If everyone on "24" followed Jack Bauer's instructions, it would be called "12". If it tastes like chicken, looks like chicken, and feels like chicken, but Jack Bauer says its beef. Then it's fucking beef. There have been no terrorist attacks in United States since Jack Bauer has appeared on television. Jack Bauer played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won. Jack Bauer was never addicted to heroin. Heroin was addicted to Jack Bauer. Jack doesn't believe in Murphy's Law, only Bauer's Law: "Whatever CAN go wrong, WILL be resolved in a period of 24 hours." On a high school math test, Jack Bauer put down "Violence" as every one of the answers. He got an A+ on the test because Jack Bauer solves all his problems with Violence When Google can't find something, it asks Jack Bauer for help. Simon Says should be renamed to Jack Bauer Says because if Jack Bauer says something then you better fucking do it. Don't ever ask Jack Bauer what is going on. He'll explain in the car. Men are ok with their wives fantasizing about Jack Bauer during sex; because they are doing the same thing. My parents told my little brother and I that Jack Bauer was "just a television character". We are now orphans. The answer is Jack Bauer, the question doesn't matter. During the commercials, Jack Bauer calls the CSI detectives and solves their crimes
	inserito da Katrina McClafferty

1 commento:

	Stubacca ha detto...	715 giorni fa
	Hey, good shit woman. I especially love the "Jack would get off the Lost Island in 24 hours" bit. Ever noticed how pretty the main characters are in Lost? (excluding the fat guy, the kid and the old cunt) It's a bit weird. Like watching The Bold And The Beautiful without a plot...
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