Bebo

Heather Emelin Graham <golightlymuse>

"Modern Day Muse: Part Fairy Godmother, Part Greek Goddess"

	Secret and Sacred Landscapes	599 days ago
	FROM A LETTER TO AN OLD LOVE: SECRET AND SACRED LANDSCAPES I'm of the belief, Gregory, that we need and deserve to have our own sacred and secret landscapes. I feel strongly they keep us alive. Vibrant. Sexy. So we're better partners in intimate relationships. There will come a day when you're hyper aware how much you look like your dad. Which will mean something only you understand. A day you're startled to see your father looking back at you. His image captured in the mirror at a time you perceived him as "Aging." After the startle response recedes, I hope you'll sit down in a comfortable chair and ruminate about the women you've loved. The women you've made love to. In any of the myriad ways making love meant in your life. I hope it's an "enjoy the moment" that's far more than a moment. A movie you've been saving to rewind and replay because its scenes are so vivid and so glorious. The scents in the rooms, beaches, cool grasses... Ah well, this is where your own times loving women, everything that's woman, all the faces and forms of the Goddess. Thus yours and yours alone. As though these women are with you now. That you're there in each and every moment once again. All the "there agains" with women sexy and captivating, lusty and lush, innocent and pure. So much that your heart literally jumped right out of your chest. A heart ounding with fear you might somehow hurt something as delicate and wonderous as Woman. Or do anything wrong to spoil such beauty offering Herself with eyes knowing well the gift she is. This beauty is what you'll remember forever as tears of wonder and true love well up in your eyes. As you regard Her. Try to memorize every curve and detail of her face. The way Light hits and illuminates the blonde streaks in her abundant hair. How it was for you to touch each woman you've loved, In dreams or imagination. The etheric planes. In raptures intensified with various medicines (as you called them) to ecstasy beyond any in your experience. The ecstasy of lovers. Lust Pan couldn't evoke playing his flute to lure maidens into woods. Lustiness even the God of Nature in his faunlike beauty couldn't invoke. Grapes or not. Rapturous moments flashing by instantly or in eons. Bringing a smile with dimples sweet and sly to your face. A smile playing around your lips. Casting an enigmatic mystery to a face I recognized as the tragic romantic, troubadour, mystic, lusty lad and lusting dad, lover of love, lover of secret and passionate trysts. A smile bringing a flush to your face. Stirring you all the way through both body and soul. While sitting in this chair reliving every intimacy bringing a flush to your face...making your blood surge and flow through your veins, raising your temperature in a rush of energy.. A rush from... Well this depends on your definition of a rush. Without rushing at all because why would you? With so many gorgeous, memorable women. Learning love. Being loved. Making love. In every way possible to experience it. Experiences and memories of how it is to be indulged. Evoking scent, sensation, the sweet breath of the Goddess on your face and body. The fullness, hunger, look of the Goddes. What it is to be love well. These are the sacred and secret landscapes to hold close and dear. No regrets, no shame exists within them. No secrets to deem "not okay." No need to wear that black hat. Defend or make explanations. These sacred and secret landscapes are the most intimate, alivening, richest places within us. I believe this strongly, passionately and clearly. I'll guard these landscapes with all of my heart and soul. As your wife should. Or anyone longing to be in love with Love over and over again. To feel sensual, full bodied, alive. Rejoicing in the presence of our lovers there. Rather than going to a place where we're wrong, bad, not enough. Ah Greg, you know all this. Once upon a time, I shamed you. How I regret it. I wish I'd been as awake as I am now. That I'd been heathy and content. Shame seeped into my being from poisons from my bloodline. I returned the favor when triggered by fear or anger having nothing to do with the men who loved me. Men who wanted only to be my one. The one who would make me happy. Be my Beloved. The one I desired. That cycle I spoke about in our telephone conversation last night. A cycle I long to break as often and with all the laserlike psychic surgery I'm gifted and skilled with. That I see as my mission here this time around. One mission or perhaps I should instead say the most important of many and one bringing miracles just ahead. All that said about what is sacred and secret and ours alone to treasure and guard and always keep hidden wherever safe and tucked away. (Since it will always be safe within us.) All that said Gregory Bonzon Welch who was once one of my Beloveds on Earth and a man and human being rare and beautiful and gentle and fierce and bright and funny and gifted and tragic and passionate and little and so much more than he probably knew I knew him to be. We had a history and a time that is only ours. Once upon a time. In sacred and secret landscapes. How is Love something you can possibly believe can be fit into boxes, categories, definitions neat or messed up? How is Love - which as Love is as infinite and ever present as All There Is. Because isn't it all there is we're here for? Our birthright. Infinite in every blade of grass, polished pebble, firefly, breezy night in summertime in the landscapes of our hearts. Jealousy is fear about losing our Beloved. But as our Beloved and lover and loved one and one we love, this isn't possible. Isn't True and that is one time I'll use that dreaded capital "T." I'm your friend and once upon a time a lover and one who loved you. It would be sad to only see me again in the replaying of our moments in the sun, moon, stars and rain long ago. Even though I know we'll both go there again when we play the film we've saved and savored for a time we can be there again. You once quoted Rumi in saying, "I'll meet you in a place where there is no wrong or rightdoing. I'll see you there." And you once said our greatest tragedy is in being lemminglike who go lockstep to their death as they step off a cliff that leads only into the Abyss. Both seem relevant. I hope you choose to spend time with me. I've just ended a ten year cycle that began when I left Seattle and left you there. Ten years. Only an instant and not at all an eon. But I'd love to start a new ten year cycle with my friend Gregory. And I don't understand why that is anything with rightdoing or wrongdoing attached to it. Let me know what you decide. Heather Emelin Graham
	posted by Heather Emelin Graham