Bebo

Kevin McKenzie <ForzaLossie>

"Le Directeur"

	White Hart Lane, two weeks ago	306 days ago
	HARRY: We need some proper players here. LEVY: Ok, not a problem. Let me just get Damien in here and… HARRY: Comolli? You sacked him. LEVY: Oh yes, of course I did. Laugh out loud! HARRY: Come on Daniel, breathe nice and slow, here...take a seat, I’ll fetch you a glass of water. LEVY: I’m not sure I can make...make any suggestions. HARRY: You let me worry about the targets. Make sure you’ve got the readies ready for Redknapp. HAHAHA, got to use that one next time I speak to the boys from the press. LEVY: Who are you after? HARRY: For a start, Defoe. They love ‘em here. We should bring him back. LEVY: He’ll cost more than we sold him for. HARRY: Pompey owe £5M for Kaboul, so we can write that off as part of the deal. LEVY: That might just work. I’ll earmark £15M for Jermain. HARRY: We also need a proper midfielder. A DM, holding type of midfielder. Not enough grit from the current lot. LEVY: Any thoughts? HARRY: Not sure at the minute. Shame Diarra went to Madrid. Might need to watch Match of the Day to get an idea of what’s available. Or take a trip to Africa. All expenses paid of course. LEVY: Well, we could… HARRY: What? LEVY: There’s a formula Damien and myself would use when we signed players. We could possibly implement it now. It’s effective. Worked with Bale, Bentley, Gomes and Pav. HARRY: I’m all ears. LEVY: Well, based on Fantasy Football points accumulated and tabloid reporting and tv highlights we calculate who is considered to be the most hyped up player of the past month. HARRY: Ok. Then what. LEVY: We bid between £14M and £16M for him. HARRY: You know...that might just work. LEVY: There is another system which is equally as affective. HARRY: Hold on, let me get a notepad.....go on… LEVY: We buy whoever played well against us. HARRY: That’s brilliant! Gives us plenty of targets to choose from. We’ll use this going forward. LEVY: You don’t want to use your system? HARRY: What system? LEVY: ... HARRY: ... LEVY: Right. Targets. HARRY: I want Bellamy. LEVY: Hold on, we haven’t used the formula. HARRY: He’s scoring goals, he’s on form. He’s got grit and determination. LEVY: I’ll call West Ham. HARRY: Bid £12M, that should do it. West Ham are desperate for the cash. LEVY: Ok. HARRY: And Defoe? LEVY: Already made a bid. HARRY: How? LEVY: Blackberry. HARRY: Triffic. Triffic. Love modern technology. Only had paper back in my day. LEVY: I was right getting rid of the director of football system wasn’t I? HARRY: Of course you were, of course. Can you use that Bluebell thingie to text Duxbury about Bellamy? LEVY: Also done. Fingers slipped though, and I bid £15M for him. HARRY: Triffic. We work well together, don’t we? LEVY: We do. Director of football? Who needs one? HARRY: Not us! Let’s get Appiah in for a trial. LEVY: Harry, Harry, Harry…the formula! The formula!! HARRY: I know, I know, but he’s a free agent. LEVY: Sorry, he’s a what? HARRY: A free agent. LEVY: I don’t get it. HARRY: He’s free. He won’t cost us anything. LEVY: He won’t cost us anything? HARRY: That’s right. LEVY: So, he’ll cost us something? HARRY: No, he won’t cost us anything...something...we don’t need to pay a transfer fee. He’s free. LEVY: But...but someone needs to be paid. HARRY: Well, there’s his wages to consider. Signing-on fee. LEVY: Not...enough...someone...must...be...pa  id… HARRY: Daniel...Daniel, breathe...that’s it...here’s your paper bag...breathe...that’s it... LEVY: Can we talk about something else? HARRY: Yeah, of course...of course. LEVY: Good, good. HARRY: How about Palacios? LEVY: The Wigan player? HARRY: Yes. Perfect fit, upgrade on Zokora. LEVY: He can pass and tackle? HARRY: Yes. LEVY: Can he dance? HARRY: I...I don’t know. LEVY: Ok, hold on. Let me look at the formula… HARRY: ... LEVY: ... HARRY: So...? LEVY: Hold on a sec...And we...YES!! WOOOOOOOOOO!!! HE FITS THE BILL!!!!! HARRY: Daniel, Dan mate...get down from up there, you’ll break your back! LEVY: Stop your worrying! Today is a good day! HARRY: So, Palacios? LEVY: Texting via my Blackberry as I speak. HARRY: Another £15M? LEVY: Just under actually. HARRY: Really? LEVY: I’m feeling a little cheeky...
	posted by Kevin McKenzie

2 Comments:

	Furious D said...	305 days ago
	bravo
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	George Thompson said...	304 days ago
	Genius! Need to add a bit wiv 'Arry saying they will take that Kenwyne Jones off the mackems 'ands in exchange for Darren "my wife could do better" Bent and a couple of mil...
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