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Conor Magill <Magillionare>

"And the dott reaised it could become anything, so it became...magill"

	Chuck Norris Facts	635 dni temu
	Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits. There is no chin under Chuck Norris' Beard. There is only another fist Chuck Norris doesn't go hunting as that would mean failure is an option.... CHUCK NORRIS GOES KILLING. Crop circles are Chuck Norris' way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie the fuck down When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Chuck Norris has not had to pay taxes, ever Chuck Norris can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Chuck Norris allows to live Chuck Norris once ate three 72 oz. steaks in one hour. He spent the first 45 minutes having sex with his waitress. What was going through the minds of all of Chuck Norris' victims before they died? His shoe Chuck Norris is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis Fool me once, shame on you. Fool Chuck Norris once and he will roundhouse you in the face. Chuck Norris once shot down a German fighter plane with his finger, by yelling, "Bang!" Someone once tried to tell Chuck Norris that roundhouse kicks aren't the best way to kick someone. This has been recorded by historians as the worst mistake anyone has ever made. Chuck Norris once ate a whole cake before his friends could tell him there was a stripper in it. When Chuck Norris falls in water, Chuck Norris doesn't get wet. Water gets Chuck Norris Chuck Norris doesn't actually write books, the words assemble themselves out of fear. Chuck Norris CAN believe it's not butter Chuck Norris doesnt shave; he kicks himself in the face. The only thing that can cut Chuck Norris is Chuck Norris. For some, the left testicle is larger than the right one. For Chuck Norris, each testicle is larger than the other one. Chuck Norris invented black. In fact, he invented the entire spectrum of visible light. Except pink. Tom Cruise invented pink. Chuck Norris has the greatest Poker-Face of all time. He won the 1983 World Series of Poker, despite holding only a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoloy card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game UNO. On his birthday, Chuck Norris randomly selects one lucky child to be thrown into the sun. Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one. Chuck Norris and Mr. T walked into a bar. The bar was instantly destroyed, as that level of awesome cannot be contained in one building. Chuck Norris doesn't believe in Germany. There are no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq, Chuck Norris lives in Oklahoma. Chuck Norris once ate an entire bottle of sleeping pills. They made him blink. Chuck Norris can touch MC Hammer. Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas. When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the Earth down. Chuck Norris does not own a stove, oven, or microwave , because revenge is a dish best served cold. Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door. Chuck Norris is expected to win gold in every swimming competition at the 2008 Beijing Olympics, even though Chuck Norris does not swim. This is because when Chuck Norris enters the water, the water gets out of his way and Chuck Norris simply walks across the pool floor. Chuck Norris is currently suing myspace for taking the name of what he calls everything around you. Chuck Norris proved that we are alone in the universe. We weren't before his first space expedition. Chuck Norris does not "style" his hair. It lays perfectly in place out of sheer terror. Chuck Norris once sued Burger King after they refused to put razor wire in his Whopper Jr, insisting that that actually is "his" way. Chuck Norris is the only person in the world that can actually email a roundhouse kick. Chuck Norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night. Chuck Norris' calender goes from 31st of March straight to April 2nd... no one fools Chuck Norris Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because Chuck Norris only recognizes the element of surprise. Chuck Norris shot the sheriff, but he round house kicked the deputy. Q: How many Chuck Norris' does it take to change a light bulb? A: None, Chuck Norris prefers to kill in the dark. Chuck Norris does not own a house. He walks into random houses and people move. Chuck Norris is the only person to ever win a staring contest against Ray Charles and Stevie Wonder at the same time. Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement. Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants. Chuck Norris uses a night light. Not because Chuck Norris is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris. When Bruce Banner gets mad, he turns into the Hulk. When the Hulk gets mad, he turns into Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris once went skydiving, but promised never to do it again. One Grand Canyon is enough Human cloning is outlawed because if Chuck Norris were cloned, then it would be possible for a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick to meet another chuck Norris roundhouse kick. Physicists theorize that this contact would end the universe. The original title for Alien vs. Predator was Alien and Predator vs Chuck Norris. The film was cancelled shortly after going into preproduction. No one would pay nine dollars to see a movie fourteen seconds long. Chuck Norris doesnt wear a watch, HE decides what time it is. The phrase 'balls to the wall' was originally conceived to describe Chuck Norris entering any building smaller than an aircraft hangar. Chuck Norris' first job was as a paperboy. There were no survivors. With the rising cost of gasoline, Chuck Norris is beginning to worry about his drinking habit. Chuck Norris knows everything there is to know - Except for the definition of mercy. When you say "no one's perfect", Chuck Norris takes this as a personal insult. Chuck Norris can win a game of Trivial Pursuit with one roll of the dice, and without answering a single question... just a nod of the head, and a stroke of the beard. Chuck Norris never goes to the dentist because his teeth are unbreakable. His enemies never go to the dentist because they have no teeth. Chuck Norris was once in a knife fight, and the knife lost. Chuck Norris once ordered a steak in a restaurant. The steak did what it was told. Some people ask for a Kleenex when they sneeze, Chuck Norris asks for a body bag. A man once asked Chuck Norris if his real name is "Charles". Chuck Norris did not respond, he simply stared at him until he exploded. They once made a Chuck Norris toilet paper, but there was a problem-- It wouldn't take shit from anybody. When Arnold says the line "I'll be back" in the first Terminator movie it is implied that is he going to ask Chuck Norris for help. Chuck Norris once participated in the running of the bulls. He walked. Chuck Norris will never have a heart attack. His heart isn't nearly foolish enough to attack him. They say curiosity killed the cat. This is false. Chuck Norris killed the cat. Every single one of them. There is no such thing as a lesbian, just a woman who has never met Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris crossed the road. No one has ever dared question his motives. One time, at band camp, Chuck Norris ate a percussionist. Chuck Norris doesn't say "who's your daddy", because he knows the answer. Chuck Norris had to stop washing his clothes in the ocean. The tsunamis were killing people. They were going to release a Chuck Norris edition of Clue, but the answer always turns out to be "Chuck Norris. In The Library. With a Roundhouse Kick." Brokeback Mountain" is not just a movie. It's also what Chuck Norris calls the pile of dead ninjas in his front yard. Chuck Norris did not "lose" his virginity, he stalked it and then destroyed it with extreme prejudice. During the Vietnam War, Chuck Norris allowed himself to be captured. For torture, they made him eat his own entrails. He asked for seconds. When Chuck Norris was born, the only person who cried was the doctor. Never slap Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris hates people in his garden, this is why Adam and Eve simply had to leave
	opublikowane przez Conor Magill

1 komentarz:

	Dickhead. mówi…	309 dni temu
	Lol =P Im actually scared... XD x
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