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Blacktron One <blacktronone1>

"Onward,Forever"

	Canada Part 7	430 días hace
	The Ten Cobandments(ho ho) Composed while listening to CMT-that's country music television(yee ha) This week seems to have passed so quickly. Kristen's working a lot at the moment,getting up at 5 and such to work her two jobs,and as a result of my temporary status few places will employ me,so I've been catching up with an old friend,gaming.One purchase of AV cable has let me back into the charming and hour-decimating world of console gaming through the portal of Zelda carina Of Time.The beauty of this in my current state is that I play it mostly with my left hand,easing the tension on my fragile right hand.As many of you know,gaming an guitars are fairly important to me,and so without both of these things I'm just a bored,but handsome devil.I hated Zelda on the 'Cube-it always felt like I was trying to second guess where to go,but that's just the way I was feeling at the time I guess. Onto more interesting matters-Wednesday sees me going to see the doc about my ruined paw,and also giving my talk to the kids at Naismith school regarding the joys and otherwise of band life.This topic has been on my mind ever since I was asked to do it,and after weighing up the pros and cons I've decided to go with a Q&A after a brief introduction.There's a set of rules I think every band must follow,whether big or small,which I'll share with you.So,in no particular order: 1.Thou Shalt Not Compromise:a band/solo artist should never change their vision according to trends.To do such a thing results in albums like St. Anger,diluting your worth and in extreme cases,losing the point of what made you come together in the first place.This isn't to say that bands shouldn't change,as it is the nature of a creative medium to evolve as you learn,but don't forget why you started doing what you're doing. 2.Thou Shalt Not Boast on't let your mouth write cheques your ass can't cash.If you can't play,you will be found out.The focus of the industry is changing more to live music than ever as the Internet slowly robs the big companies of the ability to control their artists,and if you get out there and blow you're on the toilet circuit and working in a call centre.This can break your spirit forever,so don't say I didn't warn you. 3a.Thou Shalt Have Gear ersons who turn up to gigs knowing full well they don't have enough equipment to perform,and haven't informed the other acts well in advance,will be cast out and labelled forever as moochers,liars,cocks etc.If you really want to get ahead,sort out your backline in advance,talk to all the other bands on the bill and make sure all your equipment is working because.... 3b.Thou Shalt Not Covet Thy Friend's Bands' Ass:If you have to lend gear to someone(because the gig won't go ahead-and ONLY in this scenario unless they followed 3a)make sure you know what's working and what's not,and what noise something should make if it's working/not working.Do NOT turn up to borrow another band's gear and then wreck it.If you're the kind of person that behaves this way you should never have been in a band in the first place and you deserve whatever disease,mugging or house fire that's coming to you. 4.Thou Shalt Retain Thy Humanity:Even the biggest bands have to do laundry,go to the toilet,make a sandwich and tune up,so don't get ahead of yourself.I should have made this rule one on account of the number of idiots I've met over the years who've played 3 gigs and think they're at Carnegie Hall.If you've ever been to see a band live you should realise that everyone has the same potential for a rubbish sound,a broken string,a shagged-out amplifier or,God forbid,a keyboard.By this standard,even if you've got a string of platinum records under your belt and women/men fastened to your groin,don't forget what the first gig was like.I remember mine and it was a vital part of the rest of my life,so don't act the king because you've done it more than once.If you're an old hand and you're playing with young bucks try and give them the benifit of your experience,unless they act like total idiots,in which case,gently let them know,and if they still don't get it let them drown.Which brings us to.... 5.Thou Shalt Not Forget The Size Of The Pond:Most bands will play their first few gigs to friends and family.These are the people that care about YOU,not neccessarily the band,so don't forget that friends do not always equal fans.There are now more bands than the world really knows what to do with,and so many bandwagon jumpers that a lot of acts blur into one another.I am under no illusions that this hasn't always been the case,but the advent of home recording and it's ease of use means that if you're playing,for example,'woh hoh' style metal the band after you will be doing just the same,urging the crowd to 'get the fuck up and fuckin' move'.This of course ties back to (1),but the more important lesson is this;whatever you do,be aware how little fresh ground there is on the musical landscape.Country is now a total parody of itself,it's acts interchangeable on account of production values and the nature of the people that buy it.Metal is,and forever will be,a series of bands slugging away at the fringes,getting by through weird touring schedules and word of mouth while the big bands blend into one big over-dressed chunky mess.Rock is as rock does and it gets on with the job,and the people that are really into jazz aren't reading this anymore.I'm no authority on hip hop,punk or 'pop' but punk has never needed to be accepted and hip hop seems to have been ploughing two very distinct furrows since the 80's(guns,bitches and money/you know,I had a bad time-way worse than the other guys' bad time) so I'll let them be. 6.Thou Shalt Be On Time:If you're not at the venue at the allotted time,you might not play that night,but unless you're really something you won't play there again.Again,contact the venue ahead of time to let them know of a delay,or as soon as you can if you're not going to make it.This doesn't mean if the venue pisses or your chin you should smile,but remember that they've got to fill the bill for the evening,locate a drumkit you might be bringing,ditch the hookers etc. so it's important to let them know.On the subject of venue behaviour..... 7.Thou Shalt Not Stand For Any Shit:In the event that a venue really dumps on you,a promoter tries to stiff you or a band starts giving you unwarranted(and the key word here is 'unwarranted')gyp,inform them of your displeasure.If it's venue or promoter,tell every band you can think of about how you were shut outside for 2 hours/went on at 1am instead of 10pm/were on a bill with 2 acoustic singers before playing your brutal death metal/were on with 2 black metal bands before doing soft folk/were actually playing a commercial networking conference in between speakers and it wasn't really a gig at all(true story).The venues and promoters continue their shit if no-one stands up,so don't take it.This is NOT an excuse to poo in the fridge/break windows/wank all over the dressing room/steal things/knife people(glasgow only),so don't abuse the standing or it won't do any good. 8.Thou Shalt Not Waffle:When gracing any stage,try and think about what you're going to say before you say it.Remember that not everyone will be impressed with 'who smokes weeeeeed' or 'I wanna see some fuckin' violence out there',especially if you're a barbershop quartet.If you have nothing to say to the crowd,don't say anything.The worst thing to do(and we've all been there)is 'this song is....this one is.....this one's called....' unless you're really on fire in which case no-one will care.However,if you've been speaking more than 10 seconds,shut your face and play something.The reason that frontmen speak(bad idea right there)between songs is twofold-to gee-up the crowd and give the band time to tune up/find accessories/find the drummer/pull trousers back up/get the bassist facing the right way,and shouldn't be to tell jokes(always risky),praise the town they're in(unless it's in America),or try and score(best left til after the show(er)). 9.Thou Shalt Not Moan:If you have to sleep in the van,sleep in the van.If you have to do 40 gigs on the trot,buy lots of strings and drink less.If you're sleeping in someone's flat,remember you're a guest and don't vomit everywhere/break their ironing board/open your bottles of cheap beer off the side of their grand piano(I was so,so sorry).Remember,you could have done something else,worked in construction,the funeral game,fraud prevention or as a grocer,but you've spent hours and countless pennies trying to be a band so you do what you have to do to get where you need to go. 10.Thou Shalt Suffer Dissapointment ef Leppard's drummer lost an arm.Aerosmith's drummer was in a petrol station explosion.Cliff Burton(Metallica)was killed by their tour bus.Michael Jackson went mad.Stevie Ray Vaughan and Randy Rhoads(Ozzy's brilliant guitarist)were killed in seperate aviation accidents.Genesis replaced Peter Gabriel with Phil Collins.All big bands have had their share of dissapointment-you must learn to shoulder yours too.There is no guarantee that you will be successful,even if you write songs that have people naked before they realise(Barry White) it or stop wars(no-one,sadly).I've been there and it hurts worse than anything the first time,but as Shakespeare said,the course of true love never did run smooth. Before I go(my hand is killing me),remember that there's joy to be had in hardship,and that overcoming heinous and unfairly stacked adversity is the cornerstore of band life.You may not make millions,you may not make it out of the garage,but if you play for playing's sake you'll have memories that stick with you forever,good and bad.I hope all of yours are excellent.More thorough bulletin next week after the talk and hand appraisal.Until then,appreciate your friends,play to your strengths and as St.Hubbins once said,'follow one's own star'.... ONWARD,FOREVER
	escrito por Blacktron One

2 comentarios:

	Cleetus Van Damme ha dicho…	hace 407 días
	Haha i love the phil collins ref! Wise words oh old man of the circuit! U 4got 2 mention dnt think ur led zep n do a massive improve, remember that qm gig with catpish or sumthing n u went on 2 own them?
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	Blacktron One ha dicho…	hace 407 días
	they got signed too. no god is there?
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