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Naas <CountyNaas>

"Break Your Face"

	The Famous Liverpool Treble	628 days ago
	The year is 2020, and little Tommy scouser is sitting around the DVTV multiplayer unit as his dad Tommy scouser is reminiscing about the great Liverpool sides of the past. "Tell me about the treble winning year dad" says Tommy jnr "Agh the treble winners, now that was a team, Westerveld, Henchoz, Heskey, all wonderfully skilled players... a great side... up there with your Dagleish's your Hansen's, your Grobelar's!!" replied his elated dad. "They swept all before them didn't they father?" queried the wide-eyed boy. "They did, Worthington cup, FA cup and the prestigious UEFA cup. My God son were they remarkable." Stated his owld fella. "So the Worthington cup dad, who'd we beat", asked the youngster, "Was it Man United or Everton" "Well no son, none of those, we stuffed Birmingham City, oh how we made those blue noses suffer!" added Tommy scouser. "What was the score dad? Was it 6-0? I bet it was, wasn't it dad? I bet Michael Owen scored 6 didn't he! Did he Dad?" young Tommy quizzed excitedly. "Er no son, actually Birmingham were a great side in them days, and we fought hard to take us to penalties, and eventually we stuffed them in sudden death!" squirmed the senior scouser. "Any how son, it was the FA Cup that they all wanted, and we were up against the mighty Arsenal" added Tommy senior as he tried to sweep his son along on a tide of euphoria. "Oh Arsenal dad, they won the league and European cup that year didn't they dad, oh I rember those players from history, Grimandi and Lee Dixon, they were famous all around Islington weren't they dad. "True, true, ah well they didn't exactly win anything that year.. they were robbed by some Manchester team to the title... more importantly it was a great game son, we nearly scored once in the first half don't you know. Oh I remember it well, oh how we cheered as after 23 minutes we raided into Arsenal's half and Heskey had a header... it was a great chance that would've been less spectacular if the keeper wasn't 47 years old" stated the proud dad. "How many shots did we actually have that day father?" "Well er, urm about 3" "And how many did Arsenal have dad?" "Well about 9, but they weren't real chances, half chances at best... there's only 1 stat that counts son" added Tommy senior "Doesn't sound like much of a victory to me dad, just 2-1, sounds a bit lucky" sounded the young scouser "Well maybe but son the UEFA cup final was the big one, and we stuffed them, we scored five times" quickly added Tommy senior. "Five times wow, gee dad we must have given them a real hiding, who was it dad? Was it AC Milan or Real Madrid? Or was it Monaco dad? Who dad?" "Well son it was the Spanish giants, Alaves" stated the elder scouser. "Who?" asked wee Tommy. "Alaves son, oh they were a big team in the Basque country back then. They had some massive names." "Who had they dad was it Rivaldo, he played in Spain then, or Raul who was it dad?" "No it wasn't Raul or Rivaldo. Cruyff played for them and the Norwegian international Eggen." "wow Johan Cruyff dad?" "No son, not Johan, Jordi he was almost as good as his dad, some say better. He once scored a hat-trick for Man United against Everton you know!" "Did he dad? What was that in, the league or FA Cup? "Well actually it was the Avon's Insurance combination league son" (reserves). "Oh so what was the final score dad 5-0 I naturally assume"? "No er, urm agghh. It was 5-4 son" "5-4! They scored 4 time! Oh I get it dad, I remember once reading that 2 men were sent off in that final. So I take it Liverpool had two men sent off after 5 minutes, and had sorta evened out the contest!" "No son actually they had only 9 men son." "Dad" "WHAT" "Who scored our winner that day?" "Er, um oh it was a fella called Geli" "Sorry dad I've a Liverpool A-Z here, and there is Gallagher, Gamble, Gerrard, but no Geli?" "Well son it was an own goal" "We beat Alaves with an OG, dad we seem to be a very lucky side, how many more shots on goal did we have on them?" "Well, em, er actually they had 9 and we had 8" "Dad?" WHAT "Can I go outside and nick some space pods from the heliovertors?" "Yeah go on son".
	posted by Naas

7 Comments:

	Neil Grehan said...	628 days ago
	and what did united win that year fuck all
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	Eoin O'Meara said...	627 days ago
	jaysus let me think now, 2000-01 season was it, what was it we won again??? Ah ya THE PREMIERSHIP! That makes it 9 for United how many have Liverpool got then?
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	Bill S. Preston Esquire said...	626 days ago
	Hah , I Love it. this should be mailed to everyone in the world.
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	Conor Callanan said...	626 days ago
	fuck off lally!!
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	Eoin O'Meara said...	621 days ago
	Up your Liverpool arses! if you can write something funnier than this about anything I'll take it down!
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	Neil Grehan said...	617 days ago
	we still won the league and champions league more times than ye and well hammer ye on sunday
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	Eoin O'Meara said...	612 days ago
	yes you really gave us a hiding!
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