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.JS. <Jacks15Ireland>

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	read thissss	4/23/07

	1) When there's only one other person in the lift, tap them on the shoulder and then pretend it wasn't you. 2) Push the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile, and go back for more. 3) Ask if you can push the buttons for other people, but push the wrong ones. 4) Call the Psychic Hotline from your cell phone and ask if they know what floor you're on. 5) Hold the doors open and say you're waiting for your friend. After awhile, let the doors close and say, "Hi Greg. How's your day been?" 6) Drop a pen and wait until someone reaches to help pick it up, then scream, "That's mine!" 7) Bring a camera and take pictures of everyone in the lift. Move your desk in to the lift and whenever someone gets on, ask if they have an appointment. 9) Lay down a Twister mat and ask people if they'd like to play. 10) Leave a box in the corner, and when someone gets on ask them if they hear something ticking. 11) Pretend you are a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exit with the passengers. 12) Ask, "Did you feel that?" 13) Stand really close to someone, sniffing them occasionally. 14) When the doors close, announce to the others, "It's okay. Don't panic, they open up again." 15) Swat at flies that don't exist. 16) Tell people that you can see their aura. 17) Call out, "Group hug!" then enforce it. 1 Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering "Shut up, all of you, just shut up!" 19) Crack open your briefcase or handbag, and while peering inside, ask, "Got enough air in there?" 20) Stand silently and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off. 21) Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce in horror, "You're one of THEM!" and back away slowly. 22) Wear a puppet on your hand and use it to talk to the other passengers. 23) Listen to the lift walls with your stethoscope. 24) Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button. 25) Grinning, stare at another passenger for a while, and then announce, "I have new socks on." 26) Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers, "This is my personal space."

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	yo moma	3/3/07

	yo mama so fat!!!!!!!!! 6 days ago some gud yo mama so fat jokes Yo mama so fat people jog around her for exercise Yo mama so fat she went to the movies and sat next to everyone Yo mamma so fat you haveta roll over twice to get off her... Yo mama so fat she was floating in the ocean and spain claimed her for the new world Yo mama so fat she lay on the beach and people run around yelling Free Willy Yo mama so fat when she has wants someone to shake her hand, she has to give directions! Yo mama so fat she goes to a resturant, looks at the menu and says "okay!" Yo mama so fat when she wears a yellow raincoat, people said "Taxi!" Yo mama so fat she had to go to Sea World to get baptized Yo mama so fat she got to iron her pants on the driveway Yo mama so fat she put on her lipstick with a paint-roller Yo mama so fat she got to pull down her pants to get into her pockets Yo mama so fat when she tripped over on 4th Ave, she landed on 12th Yo mama so fat when she bungee jumps, she brings down the bridge too Yo mama so fat when she sits around the house, she SITS AROUND THE HOUSE! Yo mama so fat when she steps on a scale, it read "one at a time, please" Yo mama so fat when she sits on my face I can't hear the stereo. Yo mama so fat she fell in love and broke it. Yo mama so fat when she gets on the scale it says to be continued. Yo mama so fat her neck looks like a pair of hot dogs! Yo mama so fat God couldn't light Earth until she moved!

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	funny	12/28/06

	FUNNY BOOKS YOU SHOULD READ How to wet de bed -- by- I.P.Freely A Russian guide to snooker --by- Inof De red A 50metre sprint 2 de toilet --by- Willie Makett & Betty Wont How 2 fall off a cliff --by - Eileen Dover While i make de bus in time -- by - Justin Time Artificial Clothing-by - Polly Ester Big Fart by Hugh Jass Blonde Hair by Bim bow Chest Pain by I.Coffalot Computers by Meg Abite Danger Danger by Luke Out Dangerous Animals by Mann Eaters Cutting trees nd wood by Tim Burr Flips Tumbles nd Spins by Jim Nastics Free Willie by Freda Wale Genie In A Bottle by Grant Wishes How To Cook De Best Steak by T.Bone Backgarden chairs by Patti O' Furniture Good Fences by Barb Dwyer Hypnotism by N.Tranced

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	vgr	10/29/06

	Quick jokes!!! 41 minutes ago Q: How do you make a Kilkenny fan run? A: Build a job centre Q: What would you get if Kilkenny were knocked out of the championship? A: 199 more Waterford fans Q: How does DJ Carey change a lightbulb? A: He holds it in the air, and the world revolves around him. Q: What's the difference between DJ Carey and God? A: God doesn't think he's DJ. Q: What's the difference between a Langer and a bucket of poo? A: The bucket... DJ Carey was caught for speeding on his way to Croke Park today. "I'll do anything for 3 points", he said when questioned Q: What do Haemhorroids and Cork Fans have in common? A: They're both a complete pain in the hole and never seem to go away completely Q: What's the difference between an Clare fan and a Chimp? A: Ones hairy, stupid and smells, and the other is a chimpanzee. Q. What's the difference between a Clare fan and a coconut? A. One's thick and hairy, and the other's a tropical fruit. Q: How many Galway fans does it take to change a light bulb? A: Yeah, as if they have electricity in Galway... Q: What do you say to a Wexford supporter with a good looking bird on his arm? A: Nice tattoo Q: What do you say to a Dublin fan with a job? A: Can I have a battered sausage and a chip please! Q. What's the difference between the Cork Hurling Team and the Ryder Cup Team? A. There's only one Langer in the Ryder Cup Team Q. What do you have when 100 Kilkenny fans are buried up to their neck in sand? A. Not enough sand (Sorry, I am incorrect here, I don't think there are 100 Kilkenny fans). Q. What do Wexford fans use for birth control? A. Their personalities. Q. You're trapped in a room with a tiger, a rattlesnake, and a Limerick fan. You have a gun with two bullets. What should you do? A. Shoot the Limerick fan - twice. Q. What does the Kerry hurling team and Mike Tyson have in common? A. They're both out after round one. Q. What do you call a Kilkenny man in Kilkenny on a Monday morning? A. Unemployed. Q. What's the difference between the Offaly goalie and Pamela Anderson? A. Pamela Anderson's only got two t*ts in front of her. Q. What is the best thing to ever come out of Kilkenny? A. The road to Waterford (to Waterford people this is the worst thing as not only does it give Kilkenny people access to our beautiful paradise, it also costs Waterford people 146 Billion Euro a year in damages to shock absorbers).

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	family	10/15/06

	my real girlfriend- My bebo girlfriend- my oda girlfriend- my wife- My mummy - My 2nd mummy- My daddy - My big brother - My little brother- My big sister - emma My other big sister - My lil sister - My little sister- My uncle - My aunt - My cousin - My legand - robbie My daughter - My son - My sister-in-law - My best friend - colm My other best friend - My sexy friend - kayley My bit on the side - niamh My niece - My nephew - My guardian - My personal shopper - My fairy god mother - My girl sex slave - My sexy biatch - orla My god mother - My god father - My bestest twin - My hot admirer - My cleaner - my sexy valentine- jenny

		4 Comments



	cool	8/14/06

	how sexy is your name!? under 1 -199 points= not too sexy from 200-599 points= pretty sexxy over 600-999 points= VERY damn sexxxxy!!! 1000-1999= sexy as fuck!!!! 2000+=ultra sexi very rare to get ultra sexi! A=245 B=14 C=9 D=28 E=345 F=12 G=3 H=10 I=250 J=220 K=114 L=100 M=225 N=450 O=80 P=2 Q=12 R=400 S=113 T=305 U=11 V=10 W=10 X=3 Y=210 Z=23

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	cool	7/29/06

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	me	6/5/06

	im great fun like mx and quads

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Bebo