Maorithreads <maorithreads-com>

"www-maorithreads-com"

What a Saddd one........ LOL115 dni temu
 
How do you get 100 maoris into a mini?
Put a boil up in there!
How do you get them out?
Tell them they have to pay for it.

There's a Maori man, a Samoan man & a Tongan man sitting in the back seat of a car. Who's driving?
The police man!

Whats the biggest Marae in New Zealand?
Mt Eden Prison

'Why is it, that when ever you see a Moari on a bike you have to look twice?'
'cos it could be your bike!!!!

What's the fastest thing in the world?
A Maori with a KFC voucher.
What's the second fastest thing in the world?
The person who he stole it from

What do you call 1 Pakeha surrounded by 15 Maoris?
The rugby team with coach.

What do you call 15 Pakeha surrounded by 400 Maoris?
A Prison Warden

Ohhhhh, sad man sad. :))














 0 komentarzy 
GROWING UP IN NEW ZEALAND135 dni temu
 
I'm talking about hide and seek/spotlight in the park. The corner dairy,
hopscotch, four square, go carts, cricket in front of the garbage bin
and inviting everyone on your street to join in, skipping (double dutch),
gutterball, handstands, elastics, bullrush, catch and kiss,
footy on the best lawn in the street, slip'n'slides, the trampoline
with water on it (or a sprinkler under it), hula hoops, jumping in
puddles with gumboots on, mud pies and building dams in the gutter. The
smell of the sun and fresh cut grass.

'Big bubbles no troubles' with Hubba Bubba bubble gum. A topsy. Mr
Whippy cones on a warm summer night after you've chased him round
the block. 20 cents worth of mixed lollies lasted a week and
pretending tosmoke "fags" (the lollies) was really cool!.. A dollars' worth of
chips from the corner take-away fed two people (AND the sauce was free!!).

Being upset when you botched putting on the temporary tattoo from the
bubblegum packet, but still wearing it proudly. Watching Saturday
morning cartoons: 'The Smurfs', 'AstroBoy', 'He-man', 'Captain Caveman',
'Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles', 'Jem' (trulyoutrageous!!), 'Super d'',
and 'Heeeey heeeeey heeeeeeey it's faaaaaaat Albert'. Or staying up
late and sneaking a look at the "AO" on the second telly, being amazed
when you watched TV right up until the 'Goodnight Kiwi!'

When After School with Jason Gunn & Thingie had a cult following
and What Now was on saturday mornings! When around the corner seemed a
long way, and going into town seemed like going somewhere. Where
running away meant you did laps of the block because you weren't allowed to
cross the road?? A million mozzie bites, wasp and bee stings (stee bings!).

Going down to the school swimming pool when you didn't have a key
and your friends letting you in, drawing all over the road and
driveway with chalk. Climbing trees and building huts out of every sheet your
mum had in the cupboard (and never putting them back folded). Walking to
school in bare feet, no matter what the weather.

Singing into your hair brush in front of the mirror, making mix tapes...
Sleep overs and ghosts stories with the next door neighbours.

Pillowfights, spinning round, getting dizzy and falling down was
cause for the giggles. . Collecting WWF and garbage pail kids cards.

Eating raw jelly and raro, sucking on a Rad, a traffic light popsicle, or a Paddle Pop... blurple,
yollange and prink!

You didn't sleep a wink on Christmas eve and tried (and failed) to
wait up for the tooth fairy. When nobody owned a pure-bred dog. When
50c was decent pocket money. When you'd reach into a muddy gutter for 10c.

When nearly everyone's mum was there when the kids got home from
school.

When it was considered a great privilege to be taken out to dinner at
the local Chinese restaurant (or Cobb'n'Co.) with your family.

Remember when decisions were made by going "eeny-meeny-miney-mo"
or dib dib's-scissors, paper, rock. "Race issue" meant arguing about who
ran the fastest. Money issues were handled by whoever was the banker
in Monopoly.

The worst thing you could catch from the opposite sex was boy/girl
germs, and the worst thing in your day was having to sit next to
one. Where bluelight disco's were the equivalent to a Rave.

Now, didn't that bring back some fond memories??

If you can remember most of these, you're an Kiwi legend!!!

 0 komentarzy 
A Hard Case Joke for those Hard case Maaori......164 dni temu
 
A Maaori goes into a brothel in Amsterdam one night and finds himself a prostitute.
He asks her, "How much do you charge for the hour?"
$100," she replies.
So he asks, "Okay do you do Maori style?"
She says "No!"

He then asks her, "I'll pay you $200 to do Maaori style?"
She again says no, not knowing what Maori style is!
So he then offers her $300.
Again she declines his offer.

So finally he says, "I'll give you $500 to go Maori style with me"

Finally she agrees thinking, "Well I've been in the game for over 10 years now, I've been there and done that, had every kind of request from weirdo's from every corner of the world. How bad could Maaori style be?"

So she goes ahead and has sex with the bro, doing it in every kind of way and in every possible position.

Finally, after 8 intense hours of the best nookie she'd ever experienced, the Maori finishes.

Exhausted, the hooker says, "That was wonderful. I've never enjoyed it so much. But I was expecting something perverted and crass. Where does the 'Maaori style' come in?"

The Bro replies..............."I'll pay you tomorrow!"
 0 komentarzy 
Polyfest283 dni temu
 
Hey Whanau,

We are at Polyfest this weekend, March 18 - 21 Manukau Sports bowl, Te Irirangi Drive, it is an easy exit from the Southern Motorway (SH1).
You can experience the South Pacific at this unique cultural festival featuring traditional music, dance, costume and speeches.This annual event is the largest Maori and Pacific Islands' cultural festival in the world.

http://www.asbpolyfest.co.nz

See you there!
 0 komentarzy 
TAKITIMU FESTIVAL447 dni temu
 
Kia ora whanau,

Here is an up and coming event that maybe of interest to you:
The Takitimu Festival 2008, hosted by Ngati Kahungunu Iwi.

Come join in the fun, song, dance and oratory as thousands of descendants from the Takitimu Canoe converge on Hawke's Bay for an unforgettable celebration.
It's going to be a wonderful gathering for everyone.

It is a three day clebration that includes 96 stalls, 5 stages of performances and acts from the likes of Ardijah,Spacifix,Laughing Samoans,Tribal Syndicate, Rezpect,Tamatea Arikinui (kapa haka)Kahurangi Dance Theatre, Jamoa Jam, and much much more.

Tautoko the Kaupapa .

When and Where: 12 to 16 November 2008, Waikoko Gardens, Hawke's Bay Showgrounds, Kenilworth Road, Hastings.
Cost:$30 for a 5 Day Pass. Under 5 free. $30 for a Single Day Pass.

Visit:http://www.takitimufestival.co.nz/
 0 komentarzy 
A Talking Maori Clock..........540 dni temu
 
Proudly showing off his newly-leased downtown apartment to a couple of friends late one night,a drunk Samoan led the way to his bedroom where there was a big brass gong hanging on the wall.
'What's that big brass gong for ?' one of the friend's asked.
'Issss nod a gong. Issss a talking Maori clock' he drunkenly replied.
'A talking Maori clock - seriously ?'
'Yup. Hmmm (hic).'
'How's it work ?' the second friend asked, squinting at it.
'Jusss watch' he said.
He picked up a hammer, gave the gong an 'ear-shattering bash' and stepped back.
His three mates stood looking at one another for a moment in astounded silence.
Suddenly, a Maori voice from the other side of the wall screamed,
'For f*#k's sake, you stupid coconut .It's ten past three in the f*#king morning !!!'


 0 komentarzy 
DESIGN A T SHIRT COMPETITION562 dni temu
 
All you need to do is come up with a graphic design for a T Shirt. It can about anything,we don't want to limit your capacity or your creativity, think it, believe it draw it and it will look Fabulous.


Here are the guidelines that will need to be followed:

The graphic design is in two colours only; remember it can be printed on any colour tee so it does end up
looking very effective. Have a look at our tees online it will give you a better understanding of how good
two colours look.
Submit your entries to us by email with your name and email address to info@kcdinternational.co.nz.

Do I keep ownership of my design if it is selected for sale?
(THIS IS SO IMPORTANT SO PLEASE READ)
Maoritreads.com gets exclusive rights to the design if chosen for selling and printing on clothing.
Maorithreads also has the right to the design itself for use of Maorithreads.com, to sell it on our Collections Category Page and on any maorithreads promotional materials. The artist keeps the ownership of the submitted design and may display or archive his/her own design in a portfolio or personal collection but the artist may not sell or reproduce the design for commercial purposes once it is chosen for production under maorithreads.com.


If you have any questions don't be shy we are more then happy to answer them also.

In a competition you must have prizes:•$250 CASH!

The potential to be a graphic designer for Maori Threads , that means working for a great company, with great people , doing something you love and working from home.
Most importantly you will see your design on a shirt being worn by many.
There can be more then one winner so if you have more then one design.Submit them all and they could all win.

So what are you waiting for? Go on get started!

Email to: info@kcdinternational.co.nz. OR send me a private message and I will get back to you ASAP

 1 komentarz 
Where can you find us?562 dni temu
 
You Love our shirts so much , don't you?

Come and vist our team , say kia ora and have a little laugh with us.
You can be apart of the revelation and buy one of the coolest shirts on the planet.

Where and When:
Otara Market every Saturday from 6.30am till 12pm Otara Shopping Centre, Auckland

Frankton Market every Saturday from 8am- 1pm Frankton, Hamilton

Avondale Market every Sunday from 8am- 1pm Avondale, Auckland

Rotorua Market Sunday Fortnightly from 9am- 4pm Lakefront, Rotorua, 11/05,31/05,1/06,15/06,29/06,12/07,13/0
 7,27/07,10/08,24/08,7/09,21/09,4/09,5/0
 9,25/09,26/09,16/11,30/11,7/12,14/12,20
 /12,21/12,26/12,27/12,28/12.
 0 komentarzy