Cloud In The Sky <fluffywhitecloud>
"Kwiaahwah"
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 | "We were told our language was that of the devil and that we were dirty Indians" | 529 days ago | ||
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| http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/americas/... I was reading an news report on our Apology given to the First Nations of Canada for Residential School, and I ve been watching updates here on my lunch break. I am not sure how to feel as I listen, watch and read peoples statements of residential school. Being molested, raped, beaten, told everything you know is the devil and your dirty. That is pretty messed up. I couldn;t help but have a few tears, something that doesn;t hold a candle to what the direct victim have I am sure. I start to reflect and wonder how residential school effects me... and our community. The threads of the effects of residential school still run so strong within our own communities. Today we are struggling to save Haida Kil, our elders tirelessly recording our beautiful Haida Language day in and day out. Our Language so important having Haida knowledge that can only be described in Haida, connecting us to our views thoughts, and our land and seas. How I would love to be fluent in Haida... I think about the sexual abuse, so rampant in our community! Where did those people learn that sort of behavoiur from? From the person before that. Must be awful to live a place where Sex is taboo so Taboo its becomes secret and almost illegal, these awful people would take it out on children in residential school. I believe sex was a very sacred things amongst our People and that was taken away through this abuse. Its got to be an awful feeling, to be a parent in a community where we know this stuff, this sexual abuse still goes on... that thread still runs thick but seems invisible to many.... another trick learned in residential school. Sweep it under the Carpet.... NO one needs to know. No benifit in that. Today I see people that are emotional cripples... no feelings no emotions as residential school effected so much concerning our emotions. Several Generations later people still have little ability to show that emotion. This inability is the root of heavy drug use. Skidegate seems to have a drug dealer on every street. I guess residential school works well for the drug dealers. Least they can afford a big fancy truck, or car... I am not say all of our social problems come from residential school but a big chunk. My intention in writting this blog is not to point fingers but to set context for something I want to say. Last summer, I was doing a tour with a fellow who was a travel writter. He was English but lived in Canada for many years. He still had a bit of an accent. Anyway we were talking as I was doing a media tour for him of the Haida Heritage Centre. The first Question he asked me was,"Why would someone spend 100k plus on a Potlatch when you could go to school for 4 years on that kind of money? you dont need potlatches anymore because we have a written language it just seems like a silly expensive tradition!". Unprepared I collected my emotion and rather than knocking him out I replied. "Sometimes a two day potlatch you will learn more valueble things to apply to your life than you will in 4 years at school." Rather than being angry with him I felt that I needed to fish for more of these questions... so we carried on. As we toured the centre the topic of residential school came up. He says to me," What the big deal with all of these first nations people getting angry about Residential school? I went to Boarding school in England, its the same concept, all of the same things happened, sexual, emotional, physical abuse! Look at me I am fine!" As he was saying this I recalled a story about someone who went to a school here on the coast, someone once told me.... that a parent that went there eventually had kids and in a rage this parent broke his childs legs with a sledge hammer...... this is what was going through my head... this picture of what happened as a result of residential school.... I had a really hard time with this questions because their is somemany things I wanted to say to this fellow and at the same time I wanted to stab his toe with my heel. SO once again I collected myself. I mentioned only 10-15% of aboriginals went to residential school on average, but the abuse they brought back within their teaching effects our whole community, more more ways than one. Then I added perhaps you were made to go through boarding school abuse, not residential, by my people here on the Coast was never prepared for that." As he said to me.... Look at me I am fine. I looked at him and wondered, and asked,' where;s your family??" he was post middle age English Chap and he replied, and told me he didn;t have children or has never been married. A part of me felt bad for him, not to know much about residential school and to have an out look such as he did. A part of me felt sad because I felt like he was leaving with the same outlook as when he came. A part of me felt sad because something tells me hes not the only person that thinks that way. and yet again I felt sad because I felt he was lonely... no children, no wife,,, whos going to take care of you when your old? and then all at once I felt peace as I look at the Haida Heritage Centre in all its glory, just a monunment to reflect all that Haida Gwaii is was and will be. And to know I have the opportunity to be a part of it. I hope now with this apology, our community really begins to heal. much love Kwi | ||||
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| TODAY was a good day | 581 days ago | ||
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| Today I have done nothing and talk to very little people gave my voice and mind a rest/.... its been a great day! xoxo and if i could sell how I feel..... it would prolly go for at least a million bucks.... Haida Gwaii totally kicks ass I love you | ||||
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| finally a bit of peace | 588 days ago | ||
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| some peace finally in the day.... thank goodness.. sigh to stay or not to stay is the final question... what to do? | ||||
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| Five (5) lessons about the way we treat people. | 595 days ago | ||
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| 1 - First Important Lesson - Cleaning Lady. During my second month of college, our professor gave us a pop quiz. I was a conscientious student and had breezed through the questions until I read the last one: "What is the first name of the woman who cleans the school?" Surely this was some kind of joke. I had seen the cleaning woman several times. She was tall, dark-haired and in her 50's, but how would I know her name? I handed in my paper, leaving the last question blank. Just before class ended, one student asked if the last question would count toward our quiz grade . "Absolutely, " said the professor. "In your careers, you will meet many people. All are significant. They deserve your attention and care, even if all you do is smile and say "hello." I've never forgotten that lesson. I also learned her name was Dorothy. 2. - Second Important Lesson - Pickup in the Rain One night, at 11:30 p.m., an older African American woman was standing on the side of an Alabama highway trying to endure a lashing rain storm. Her car had broken down and she desperately needed a ride. Soaking wet, she decided to flag down the next car. A young white man stopped to help her, generally unheard of in those conflict-filled 1960's. The man took her to safety, helped her get assistance and put her into a tax icab. She seemed to be in a big hurry, but wrote down his address and thanked him. Seven days went by and a knock came on the man's door. To his surprise, a giant console color TV was delivered to his home. A special note was attached. It read: "Thank you so much for assisting me on the highway the other night. The rain drenched not only my clothes, but also my spirits. Then you came along. Because of you, I was able to make it to my dying husband's bedside just before he passed away... God bless you for helping me and unselfishly serving others." Sincerely, Mrs. Nat King Cole. 3 - Third Important Lesson - Always remember those who serve . In the days when an ice cream sundae cost much less, a 10-year-old boy entered a hotel coffee shop and sat at a table. A waitress put a glass of water in front of him. "How much is an ice cream sundae?" he asked. "Fifty cents," replied the waitress. The little boy pulled his hand out of his pocket and studied the coins in it. "Well, how much is a plain dish of ice cream?" he inquired. By now more people were waiting for a table and the waitress was growing impatient. "Thirty-five cents," she brusquely replied. The little boy again counted his coins. "I'll have the plain ice cream," he said. The waitress brought the ice cream, put the bill on the table and walked away The boy finished the ice cream, paid the cashier and left. When the waitress came back, she began to cry as she wiped down the table. There, placed neatly beside the empty dish, were two nickels and five pennies.. You see, he couldn't have the sundae, because he had to have enough left to leave her a tip. 4 - Fourth Important Lesson. - The obstacle in Our Path. In ancient times, a King had a boulder placed on a roadway. Then he hid himself and watched to see if anyone would remove the huge rock. Some of the king's wealthiest merchants and courtiers came by and simply walked around it. Many loudly blamed the King for not keepin g the roads clear, but none did anything about getting the stone out of the way. Then a peasant came along carrying a load of vegetables Upon approaching the boulder, the peasant laid down his burden and tried to move the stone to the side of the road. After much pushing and straining, he finally succeeded. After the peasant picked up his load of vegetables, he noticed a purse lying in the road where the boulder had been. The purse contained many gold coins and a note from the King indicating that the gold was for the person who removed the boulder from the roadway. The peasant learned what many of us never understand! Every obstacle presents an opportunity to improve our condition. 5 - Fifth Important Lesson - Giving When it Counts... Many years ago, when I worked as a volunteer at a hospital, I got to know a little girl named Liz who was suffering from a rare & serious disease. Her only chance of recovery appeared to be a blood transfusion from her 5-year old brother, who had miraculously survived the same disease and had developed the antibodies needed to combat the illness. The doctor explained the situation to her little brother, and asked the little boy if he would be willing t o give his blood to his sister. I saw him hesitate for only a moment before taking a deep breath and saying, "Yes I'll do it if it will save her." As the transfusion progressed, he lay in bed next to his sister and smiled, as we all did, seeing the color returning to her cheek. Then his face grew pale and his smile faded. He looked up at the doctor and asked with a trembling voice, "Will I start to die right away". Being young, the little boy had misunderstood the doctor; he thought he was going to have to give his sister all of his blood in order to save her. color=#800000 size=5> Now you have 2 choices. 1 Delete this email, or 2. Forward it other people. I hope that you will choose No. 2 and remember. Most importantly................... "Work like you don't need the money, love like you've never been hurt, and dance like you do when nobody's watching. | ||||
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| Back from the BIg City | 597 days ago | ||
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| Wow... a few fast day in the rest of the world brings everything together back home, New York is a beautiful city lots to see and so little time... I arrived in Manhattan at 12 midnite to my Hotel called the Lucerne \ Intially Nika was supposed to attend this not me so her name was still in the reservation for the hotel and they didn;t want to let me in...... Here I was tired and had travelled for two days to get there livin off of very little sleep and they didn;'t want to let me in my room and I still had two hours to finish my presentation I was able to type out about 6 pages for my 15 presentation in the end I barely got through half.. SO I was finished my presentation by 2 30 ish and then I fell asleep and woke up at 730 bright eyed and bushy tailed I had imagined my first glance of New York was going to be a romantic one with the wide city stretching out in front of me maybe a nice view of grand central park as we were only a short block away or perhaps a view of the street full of lil shops or something Anyway I open up the curtain all I get to see is this shabby old Alley lmao oh well Had I read my email I would have known our colloquium didn;t start until 10 but I was out hte door at eight and trying to make my way into the museum which was a short block away LMAO that was a joke I walked around for awhile and finally figure out around 900 how to get into the museum I get there and I am sitting at a table with Academia's finest professors and directors of Anthropology and then there is lil ol me all of 24 years of age... lmao that was a sight to see not bad for a highschool drop out I presented 3 and last in my Panel and it went well they enjoyed wdhat I had to say and had lots of comments and questions, then they asked where I had gone to school Haida Gwaii.... then they said wow there must be some really great schools on Hiada Gwaii lol oh well the day was full of fluted academic talk I learned lots about diversity and new ways of thinking and being...all interesting we end the day at OCho Choono or something some cuba restaurant and I managed a whole bunch of contacts and invites back to the American Museum of Natural History and the Pea Body Essex Museum at Harvard... pretty cool stuff The next morning I was up at 6 and I went for a walk in Grand Central Park and had a Coffee and window shopped in all the different shops none were open then at 10 I entered the Museum and check out the Northwest Coast exhibit and the African Exhibit pretty amazing stuff.... and then I was able to go into the stores nad check out all of the Haida Treasures they had as I tried on masks and put on Hats and shaking all of the rattles lol I dont know what they thought of me but it was a great learning experience I feel so fortunate to be doing my job.....and do what I do...not often your dreams come true....now all I have to manifest is someone that might make a good husband and put up with me while I work lmao I flew back to Van that day with a stop over in Toronto I was able to see it as the sun was going down and that was pretty cool 5 hours from Toronto was movie packed watching pleasantville and Beowolf I stayed at the Holiday Inn downtown and went to visit a friend in Gastown Cambie area.. and that was a highlight we havent seen each other in ages and if you have a friend that is a safe place you can say anything and do anything and feel safe this one person is that for me so that was cool we visited late then off to my Hotel and the next day I was picked up by my best Friend Jessica and her Man Duane and we had some grub and came home... all pretty simple there was nothing better than flying into Haida Gwaii and see nothing but trees and endless clean ocean..... not sky scrapers and cement and polluted water we are so lucky to have what we have and live where we live... luv you kwi | ||||
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| Wow | 600 days ago | ||
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| What a day? who knew....anthropology was such a broad topic.... academia is kind of interesting... as I sat with PHDs and so on and so fourth... one of the big things I realized that the prominant scholars just use brains... no heart and one person asked me how i felt about historically sensitve material surrounding indigenous peoples..... in other words all the bad stuff that happened to NDn's and I kind of uncomfortable.... and someone else said yes even though it is an intellectual talk I feel uncomfortable about sensitive materials about my african heritage it still hits a nerve... I didn't know it it wouldn;t along with everyone else..... it kind of weirded me out....to think that it wouldn;t.... I guess it can be comparable to the news reporter that didn;t cry talking about tradegy..... anyway I learn some interesting things but I am tired and ready for some sleep I will be on my way to Van tomorrow... hmmm I think I made good impression on everyone anyway.... so interesting I got a kick out some guy that asked me where I went to school lmao... I said Hard knocks but he didn;t believe me.... lmao oh well... I love you peace out Kwi | ||||
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| This is an adventure | 601 days ago | ||
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| Off to The big Apple its going to be first for me.... I am making the same trip swanton did.... but 107 years later? lol who knew anyway the last month has made me more ready than anything I was able to chill with Jessica how things have change in a few short years... no starbuck though me and my Venti Americano never did cross paths but all is well..... I will be back wednesday and home thursday lmao I didn;t realize how quick this was all going to be... I only have a minute left....on yvr internet time to get my way to the land of all green dollar bills... I like our monopoly money at least we can tell the difference lmao luv ya kwi | ||||
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| What a great night! | 603 days ago | ||
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| All this energy of Haida Gwaii concentrates in one place at the time of Feast time....Potlatch time you name it... the last few weeks have provided some of the best feelings there really are no words.. My Heart has been so sad, so much sadness All of our precious elders are "going home" all of these wonderful people who have lead the way are resting,,,, and it has been lots of heartbreak I have to hand it too our fantastic hosts in the last month Many great things and Happy events have come to clear the air and bring some peace and some hope for everyone and just in time... in all of our elders going home Many Babies are going to be born in 2008... SO these feasts, Potlatches and Celebrations have come to lift our spirits and make way for the new...... My Heart was happy to see everyone feel the good energy coming from the dancers... and too see all of our rich food available to us to enjoy still, I hope that when the time comes for my own lil ones to come along we can still eat from the bounty of Haida Gwaii. I know we will...... The kids dancing was pretty spectacular... as always... so lucky to have that... all of the weavers dancing was pretty awesome.... but when they honored April that was a moment for me that made my tears run. In the time of research she has been a fine knowledge holder so generous with her knowledge and the product of her teaching was shown tonite as everyone is graced with beautiful cedar and spruce root hats and blankets and all sorts of things... what a beautiful story to follow only a few left, and now so many.... last week at the potlatch or stone moving feast for Gaathlaay Watson Price, Jim Fulton donated a Charles Edenshaw bracelet in honor of Watson to the people of Skidegate and it's now placed in the Haida Gwaii Museum and it was a spectacular event because when it was recieved it was danced and Terri Lyn Robert and Gujaaw sang and the Chaalth Ladies and Jim Fulton and the two Haida Gwaii Museum staff danced but singing and dancing was such a great way to share the happiness of the event with everyone....So Cool Watson the next day was suceeded by his newphew Lonnie Young, the shine and glow in him that night was great, and the food the celebration was amazing and the feeling of lightness and grace was over everyone, they danced their main creast the five fin Killerwhale, they celebrated weaving, the Masset crew didn;t stop dancing as the dancing spirit was so strong. Stories of the great Chaalth Lineage were shared and I loved it as my great Grandfather at one time was the chief of this powerful people of the Chaalth, when my dad spoke he said something that struck an old soul string He said" Those people (Chaalth) are as powerful as the territory in which they come from......" I had so many feelings all at once that reconfirmed my beliefs of the connection to our home of Haida Gwaii.... and the Chaalth are powerful as the place the come from..... I love it... The Tsimshain came and showed us great spirit, and love for who they are and where they come from and seeing that power they have and the way they are humble and fun and energetic and compassionate, because they are that way they are allowing our people too be the same... what a wonderful compliamentary relationship.... in watching them dance..... it inspired and sparked many people... as I hear comments of the beauty and impressiveness... They were able to come the the Kay Centre and see what we have and it was food for the soul to see how much they enjoyed it.... you couldn;t ask for anything better than that when people come to visit..... Masset just kicks ass... they did a fantastic job but also came out with a new dance in honour of weavers..... that was very meaningful to see, the invention of not only masset but all of hte dance groups connecting everything to everything.... Now Robert is just Robert.... we all know he is amazing.... and you wonder how to pay someone that has done so much for a whole nation...??? what do you do? He is brilliant and has captured the hearts and souls of many and is soo humble? how do you react to someone so Robert? lol I thought we could have a slogan on Haida Gwaii... What would Robert do? or WWRD? lmao Terri Lyn my dear cousin, her capacity amazes me... to sing and dance since she was young learn so much, be the lead lawyer to protect the lands in which we love, and still have time to create the Haida Gwaii SIngers society and be so humble in being able to experience the fruits of her love and labour and watch the Hlgaagilda dancers dance and sing... from 2 year olds to Older..... SO humble Reg, He just goes up to the mic and with no big deal.... wearing head to toe ravenstail, created masks and has planned this event and created a dance group with his brother, he can dance like no other and has brought so many meaningful things to our nation, and feed us as Kings and Queens eat , with salmon and halibut and clams and anything you can think of.... He stands and sings alone in thanks of his company as he is hosting a huge historic event... How does one pay such generous, inspiring people??? Pay it forward I guess??? I am not sure How does one process events so unreal you dream it..... we have come from mythtime and my heart is full and Haida Gwaii and its events have humbled me in many ways and brought much healing..... and people.... and my girls Cassan and Meghan and Tina and Ally and Joby all were there along with tonnes of many Haida and non Haida were there to be.... Just to be and see.... What a great night, I am ready.... My nuni and Chini were there... I love them with all that I have and they gave me a great gift tonite.... I feel so Fortunate....ever fortunate I love you Kwi | ||||
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| 9 things- This made my day LRHI | 604 days ago | ||
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| There are 9 words women use - 1.) Fine : This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up. 2.) Five Minutes : If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house. 3.) Nothing : This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine. 4.) Go Ahead : This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It! 5.) Loud Sigh : This is not actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to #3 for the meaning of nothing.) 6.) That's Okay : This is one of the most dangerous statements a woman can make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake. 7.) Thanks : A woman is thanking you, do not question, or Faint. Just say you're welcome. 8.) Whatever : Is a women's way of saying F@!K YOU! 9.) Don't worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking 'What's wrong?' For the woman's response refer to #3.Then you RUN! Send this to the men you know, to warn them about arguments they can avoid if they remember the terminology. Send this to all the women you know to give them a good laugh, cause they know it's true I read this too my dad and he didn't even laugh lmao already knows it I guess lmao | ||||
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| At the end of the day | 608 days ago | ||
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| we are so lucky to be able to choose what we want to be....what we understand how we understand it...... Once that is figure out..... well you will know..... your lucky....(in our language there is a word for it.... this is the best I can do) I know some pretty amazing and special things, they are in my heart you know when something happens in you life and something bursts from you chest...........when I am saying I am Haida When I say I am who I am......my name...my lineage my nation, there is a whole lotta whack in that one statement, not because of me... but the lineage I come from and the nation I come from and where my name came from..... many people will not understand that in the rest of the world... but they say "it takes a small group of people to change the world" unknown quote. I believe it, and I am understanding that now........not just understanding it,,,,but knowing it... understanding is more powerful than knowledge...... maybe they are the same thing and I am realizing that? luv you kwi | ||||
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