conqueringdemons <conqueringdemons>
"the psychology of fear"
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 | Scott's Pain And Anger | hace 649 días | ||
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| Scott yesterday sustained a serious injury to his left shoulder. This was result of a direct impact of a fall. The implications of this fall has lead to him falling further and deeper within himself. Snowboarding is his passion, his job and seems to be an escape or addiction and he is now knowingly without it... perhaps for a long time. He is suffering and I feel this demise is only the beginning. He has started drinking alcohol already, an act that that he intends will cover up his depression, his anger. I am afraid for him but perhaps I will be able to uncover some darker truths in this time of uncertainty. Ciao Carlo | ||||
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| Gods and Ghosts | hace 650 días | ||
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| There are certain things we believe in, be it ghosts or god, we are not as free in our mind as we may think. Last night I watched the subjects of my film, the so called "athletes", get very drunk and foolish. How they expect to perform to the best of their ability having partaken in such excess is a mystery to me. Perhaps they attempt to numb their anxiety with these intoxicants. I see weakness in them at these times. Weaknesses that I must uncover to reveal their motivation for their extreme pursuits. They are driven to this behaviour by forces unknown to them. I will continue my study and attempt to find the answers. Carlo | ||||
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| A New Day | hace 651 días | ||
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| The worst of the storm seems to have passed. It is still. Energy levels in the chalet are low but tensions remain high. There is a strange aura about the place. Tyler's video entry has made me feel very positive. I am aware that it must be very difficult for both Scott and Tyler to be made the focus of this study, to be held under the microscope. The pressure is getting to them. I have become the catalyst that allows their emotions to be revealed. The intensity of my research has risen. I am uncovering their subconscious. Real fears. I am close to discovering what drives them and the roots of their anxieties. From fears that have haunted their past. Oppression, inferiority, concerns over security, loss of identity. To fears over the future. To suffering there is a limit, to fearing none. C | ||||
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| FIGHT. | hace 652 días | ||
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| I really do not know where to start! I cannot believe what I have just seen. Boys will be boys but why must they fight? Lockdown have just posted a new video. I can see that Scott has problems that lie deeper than I anticipated. It looks as though we have only uncovered the tip of the iceberg. He is so angry. A mountain is not made from one stone, much like a mountain a person is filled with a complex hierarchy of chemicals, materials and sometimes man-made waste. I feel it is my presence here and the questions I have asked. It is working. His hidden fears are really beginning to show and as a result his realisation of this has triggered a reaction. This is why I came here.. to uncover their fears. This could be the start of the next chapter in my investigation... a turning point? Is he threatened by Tyler too perhaps? Or is it that this woman has affected his psyche? This morning's rose tinted glasses are fading with the sinking sun. Augurimi la fortuna Carlo | ||||
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| Fear and Love. Life and Death. | hace 652 días | ||
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| “The best remedy for those who are afraid, lonely or unhappy is to go outside, somewhere where they can be quiet, alone with the heavens, nature and God. Because only then does one feel that all is as it should be.” Sometimes when I wake up and feel like a different person, not good or bad just different. I think differently. I look at the world differently. As if when I was sleeping I have been plucked from this earth and shaken then laid back down with new eyes. With wide open eyes. I am so glad that Amy is now here with us. It has created a fresh new breeze up here in the mountains. The thin air has become much easier to inhale. And as I write this the world continues to turn and Scott and Tyler's fears continue to grow inside of them like a poisonous flower. I hope they are having fun though. I hope you are all getting something from my videos so far and that I am making some of you aware of your own fears. I value your thoughts and comments. Carlo | ||||
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| Time of Reflection | hace 653 días | ||
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| A lot I feel has happened since my horrible experience yesterday. I can see in Tyler's video diary that there is much guilt and fear inside him. An ancient Japanese proverb states that 'Fear is only as deep as the mind allows'. And within him I feel a great sense of fear, he is bemoaning a lot, saying how weak he is and it is well known to most that fear produces fatigue. He just has to become aware of his subconcious fears. Scott seems even more fearful, perhaps it is due to something in his past. The key to change is to let go of fear and I feel in one that a shadow has passed. i read once that "our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure". So I have decided to distance myself from my snowboarding specimens. I have given Lockdown Projects some questions and hope they discover some long waves in a shallow liquid beneath their Ice covered minds. | ||||
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| An interesting day | hace 654 días | ||
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| Today did not turn out how I thought it would, the journey to the mountain was as normal and the guys were joking around and playing the fools as always. I was interviewing them up there, trying to find out to what extremes they would go with their boarding when all of a sudden they left me. I can't believe it was a malicious act but it took me many hours to get back... Maybe they are scared of what I am uncovering in them. I will continue my project and find the answers I seek. Wish me luck. Fino a domani Carlo | ||||
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| Clean air and blue skies | hace 655 días | ||
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| So today was so wonderful here in Morzine. Blue skies and not one cloud to be seen. Lockdown Projects went out to get some action shots with the guys and they will post their videos for you to see. They seem nice, always joking around, maybe I will discover what makes the tick while we are here. We will see!!! Going up the mountain was more scary than I thought, the mountains are so beautiful from up there but they instill a sense of respect in you. A sense of awe. I will be interviewing the snow boarders this evening and I have a few tricks up my sleeve... I want to get into their skin... Mille gracie C | ||||
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| Double Whoop! | hace 656 días | ||
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| Scott and Tyler have just arrived! The stars of the show and the subjects of my psycho-analytic-cinematical examination. OMG!!!!! I am overwhelmed with a sense of excitement and fear ALL AT ONCE, it is quite overwhelming all these chemicals rushing around my brain. After all this planning, they are actually here. I must call my Mama in Torino. I am kidding of course, we must remain professional and calm. The boys have gone to meet Lockdown up the mountain. Keep watching for more clips. Ciao ciao.xxx | ||||
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| crazy day | hace 657 días | ||
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| First the flight and then the transfer up through the beautiful mountains. It took my breath away! The chalet is just wonderful, made entirely of wood and at the foot of a monstrous valley. I spent the afternoon exploring my new surroundings. I felt like a child in a mystical land. Alone except for nature, my mind and my thoughts. I found a supermarket and got lots of nice food. I'm sure the boys will be hungry if they are snowboarding all day. Scott and Tyler arrive tomorrow! I hope they hurry up because it is so silent here, so lonely. I'm almost fearful myself. I thought I would post this video to show you where we will stay. Buona sera. C | ||||
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