Iain Hurley <Hugh_Jas>
"ho oh cook it up!"
|She had a face on her like a well slapped arse|
>You're as welcome as a fart in a spacesuit
>My mouth's as dry as a nun's crack
>He has rubber-lined pockets so he can steal soup
>He thinks manual labour is a Spanish musician
>As funny as a burning orphanage
>He's so camp, he sh1ts tent pegs
>I'm as sick as a plane to Lourdes
>I feel like a boiled sh1te (hungover)
>(when leaving) I'm off like a debs dress
>She had a face on her that would drive rats from a barn
>As busy as the dalkey dole office
>Sweatin' like a paedophile in a Barney suit
>As tight as a nun's knickers
>I'm so horny I'd get up on the crack of dawn
>I'd crawl a million miles across broken glass to kiss the exhaust of
>van that took her dirty knickers to the laundry.
>Up and down like a hoor's knickers
>No show pony but would do for a ride around the house
>Did your mother find out who your father is yet?
>What would ye expect from a pig but a grunt?
>I left her with a face like a painters radio
>A mickey the size of a double-value can of Right Guard
>Jaysus, she could breastfeed a cr�che
>As fit as a butcher's dog
>She's got more chins than a Chinese phone book
>Not even the tide would take her out
>Mother Teresa wouldn't kiss her
>Daz wouldn't shift her
>Des Kelly wouldn't lay her
>A sniper wouldn't take her out
>Jaysus, ya wouldn't ride her into battle
>If I'd a bag of bruised willies I wouldn't give her one
>She has a face on her like a bulldog that's just licked piss off a
>She wouldn't get a kick in a stampede
>She had a f@nny like a badly packed kebab
>If I'd a garden full of mickeys I wouldn't let her look over the wall
>Give her a boot in the arse and a bucket of mickeys would fall out of
|Sumtin 2 do||2/10/09|
|1. Open your library (iTunes, Winamp, Media Player, iPod, etc)|
2. Put it on shuffle
3. Press play
4. For every question, type the song that's playing
5. When you go to a new question, press the next button
6. Don't lie and try to pretend you're cool....because your not!
Supposed to be your life if it were a film....
Rihanna - Umbrella (Travis Barker Remix)
X Gonna Give It To Ya - DMX
First Day At School:
Blame Canada - South Park
Teenage angst years:
The Saints Are Coming (Ft. Green Day) - U2
Falling in love:
Crawling - Linkin park
Ya heard - Ludacris/The Game
Really bad hangover day:
Hip Hopopotamus Meets The Rhymenoceros - Flight of the Conchords
Don't get nine - N-Dubz
Cupid's Chokehold - Gym Class Heroes
The Zero Hour - Headhunterz & Wildstylez Present Project One
Could You Be Loved - Bob Marley & The Wailers
Mental Break down:
Wanna Be Startin' Somethin' (2008 Remix) - Michael Jackson Feat. Akon
Who Do You Love Now - Riva Feat. Dannii Minogue
The Way I Am - Emenem
Getting Back Together:
Forgive me - Infected Mushroom
Birth of Child:
By Myself - Linkin Park
I Swear - N-Dubz
Thugz Mansion (2pac Original Acoustic) - Tupac Shakur
Children - Robert Miles
American Psycho II - D12 Feat. B-real
September - Cry For You (Spencer & Hill Remix) -
1.Slept naked? Ya ya
2.Taken a shower with someone? ya group hug lol
3. Kissed a member of the same sex? fuck no
4. Drove a car? yup
5. Stole anything? Ya
6. Been in love? once
7. Been dumped?yup
8. Stole money from a friend/family member? na na im an angel!
9. Gotten in a car with people you just met? ha ya undr da influence
10. Been in a fist fight? ha ya once r twice
11. Snuck out of your house?nope
12. Had feelings for someone who didn"t have them back? Yup
13. Been arrested?No
14. Hugged a stranger? ya y nt it funi!lol
15. Met up with a member of the opposite sex somewhere? ya
16. Left your house with out telling your parents? yup
17. Had a crush on your neighbour? ye
18. Ditched school to do something more fun? yep
19. Slept in a bed with a member of the opposite sex?sure have
20. Lost a friend? yeah rip John kid
21. Been on a plane? yup
22. Been to an island? ha ya da great 1!!!
23. Slept in until 3? Yup
24. Love someone or miss someone right now? ya
25. Laid on your back and watched cloud shapes go by? Yup
26. Made a snow angel? No never ne snow
27. Played dress up? ha ya dam drink!!!
28. Cheated while playing a game? Ya
29. Been lonely? ya
30. Kissed more than 4 people in one night? haha yes i have
32. Felt an earthquake?no
33. Touched a snake? no
34. Ran a red light? Nope
35. Been suspended from school? nope
36. Been in a car accident? ya will ya langer!!!!!lol
37. Had detention? yup
38. Had a party in your house while ur parents were away? nope
39. Used a fake id? ha ya n gt caught!!!!!!!!!!
40. Crawled through a window? ya
41. Been lost? Ya
42. Been to the opposite side of the country? yep
44. Cried yourself to sleep? no
47. Done something you told yourself you wouldn"t? ya all da time!
48. Laughed until something you were drinking came out your nose? Ya
50. Kissed in the rain? yup
51. Sang in the shower? Ya nt well do!
52. Made love in a park? yes
53. Had a dream that you married someone? no
54. Glued your hand to something? Ya
55. Got your tongue stuck to a flag pole?Nope
56. Ever gone to school Ya wit? wtf?
57. Been a cheerleader? nope
58. Had more than ten boy/girl friends? No
59. Didn"t take a shower for a week? dnt tink so
60. Ever too scared to watch scary movies alone? Ya
61. Played chicken? nono
62. Been pushed into a pool with all your clothes on? yeah!
63. Been told you"re hot by a complete stranger? Yup
64. Broken a bone? ya
65. Been easily amused? ya haha
66. Laughed so hard u cried? Yup!!
67. Mooned/flashed someone? ha obviously
68. Cheated on a test? yup
69. Forgotten someone"s name? Ya all the time!!
71. Done something dumb while drunk? yup
73. Blacked out from drinking? yaya
74. Played a prank on someone? Yup!!!
75. Gone to a late night movie? Ya
76. Made love to anything not human? ewwww no!!
77. Failed a class? Ya
78. Choked on something you"re not supposed to eat? ya prob
80. Cheated on a girl/boyfriend? yup
81. Celebrate the 4th of July? nope
82. Thrown strange objects? yes
83. Felt like killing someone? yup
84. Thought about running away? na
86. Got a piercing?ya ear
87. Cut your own hair? nt a hope!
89. Made a parent cry? no
90. Cried over someone? yup
91. Owned more than 5 sharpies? Wats a sharpie??
92. Dated someone more than once? yup
93. Had/Have a dog? na want 1 do!
94. Have a Mobile? Yup
95. Smoked a cigarette? nana
96. Been in a band? Nope
97. Drank 25 soda"s in a day? no!!
|11 Rules of Bebo||10/19/08|
|11 rules of bebo |
If you're ugly,
stop acting like you don't know it.
The captions under you picture that says
"top model pose"
"arnt i hot"
doesn't convince anyone.
To the people who have like 25,000 friends,
are you serious?
Nobody in this universe can keep up with that many friends.
Go play in traffic.
Don't ever post pictures and say
"OMG, I'm so ugly"
"OMG,I'm so fat"
because if you were,
you wouldn't post them.
Nobody cares about threats over the internet.
Don't try to act hardcore with the keyboard.
Fighting online is like racing in the special olympics;
even if you win,
you're still retarded.
Making 20 bulletins a day
about how you have new pictures
and begging people to comment on them is pathetic.
Make the bulletin once if you have to,
and those who actually care about you
will comment on your pics.
If all your pictures look the same,
don't post them all.
Please put some variety in your pics.
Nobody wants to see your face
8 different ways.
Who really cares if
I don't accept you as a friend?
Don't send me another request or message asking
"what's up with you not adding me?"
I don't want you as a friend;
that's what's up!
Little 6th classers who have bebos
and look like sluts,
go somewhere else
because nobody wants you here.!!!
If you have decided to read this,
you are a true bebo Friend.
Real friends read their bulletins.
I say you go and pass this on
and maybe it will finally get through people's brains
(if they have them).
And if you open a msg and it says something like
"repost this in 100 seconds or a ghost will rape your dog tonight,"
IT'S NOT REAL!
QUIT BEING AN IDIOT!!!!!!!!
PEOPLE WHO HAVE NO LIFE WHATSOEVER MAKE THAT SHIT UP THINKING THAT PEOPLE WILL FALL FOR THEIR STUPID TRAP!!! AND YOU DO!!!!
This is a test to see how many people
in your friends list
actually pay attention to you.
"like omg if u dnt repost dis in 1 second at midnte/ and if you do at midnight your true love will...SHUTUP U FUCKIN ARSEHOLES!!! shit aint gonna happen"
load a bollox!!!
Copy and repost in your own bulletin as
11 rules of BEBO.
|how to hotwire a car..||7/21/07|
|To hot wire a car, access the wiring either in the dashboard (may require force) or in the engine compartment.|
* Using dashboard access:
1. Find the ignition circuit wires. In older cars they are generally red. In newer cars, they may also be blue, yellow, or black, I'm afraid. Luckily for you, there are wiring diagrams for almost all car makes available. Identify the correct wires using a wiring diagram.
2. Remove the ends of the colored wires from the ignition. Touch them together until the engine turns over.
3. Enjoy your drive.
* Using engine access:
1. Put a wire between the battery's positive terminal and the connection point of the starter motor's ignition wire. The engine turns over.
2. Enjoy your drive.
If the steering lock is engaged, or there is an immobiliser fitted, you may still have problems driving the vehicle