Oulton Raiders Under 18's <oultonraidersrl>
|John declines Rhinos offer||1/17/09|
|In an unexpected anouncement Oulton Raiders spare part john boy has delined an offer to play for his much loved Rhions team. |
the move was seen as a shock by Leeds to encourage more local talent in the squad ahead of the start of the rugby league franchise system.
in a statement released by john boy he said " it was a difficult choice. in the end i had to go with what my heart told me and i decided to stay and help out my team mates in the difficult season. also i believe with my high profile, mainly due to insest relations within my family i can bring more publicity and money to the club"
many players believe john was stupid to decline such an offer and have also gave there own reasons to why they believe he stayed. oultons very own shag machine Dolph-in released this statment "i believe he stayed as his girlfriend wouldnt fit in the seats at headingly plus it would look like it had being snowing every day"
we all believe that this is not the last time leeds make an atempt to sign John, leeds head coach xenofen kostandatis " we hear at leeds believe john to be full of potential and will go to any lenght to sign the man we want and the man we blieve can help us in the hunt for more silverware.
|Dolph releases DVD||1/1/09|
|In an attempt to boost the popularity of Oulton Raiders. the teams very own high flying winger Jacob Norton has brought out hit own fitnes video- dolph doing doggy. dolph joins TV greats such as, max and paddy, jade goody and davina mccall in releasing a get fit video|
in this special dvd dolph goes through the techniques of his very own version of the classic doggy style position. the release will surely be a hit as many fitnes videos are released this time of year but never by anyone with such a high profile.
Dolph who has recently returned from his sex tour of zimbabwe had time to comment to the media " its been a good year for me in terms of the sexy time, ive just returned from zimbabwe but am already planning my next move i was planning ethipoia but i cant contract any more virus' also i have been knighted by the queen for this and am truely grateful and of course i shagged her aswell, its not my fault i cant stop shagging"
hopefully 2009 will be as good a year for dolph who will be continuing to play for the raiders and also continuing his shagging. we assure you we will be releasing the details of his next sex tour as soon as possible.
|new years honours list||12/31/08|
|There no real shocks in the queens honours list this year and 5 oulton raiders were given OBE's by the queen:|
Karlos McMurry- was knighted for his services to bebo
Aaron Knowles- was acknowledged for his excellent performance for tonga at the rugby league world cup
Danny Barker- Acknowledged for his recent charity work raising money for the Rick Astley foundation
Jacob Norton- knighted for his recent sex tour of Zimbabwe
Raiders head coach was also awarded for leading the raiders side through troubled times: "im fucking over the fucking moon at getting this fucking OBE and been acknowledged by my fucking bastard country" a bullish Lee Reed added.
|MR. BEBO hacked||10/30/08|
|In one of the biggest scandels this year, Oulton raiders front rower Karlos McMurry, Mr Bebo himself was hacked in a violent attack to change his sexuality.|
On Tuesday night Karlos' bebo was discovered and watched with a close eye by much of the oulton squad with people instantly trying to guess who could hack this bebo.
With such an attack being carried out on one of the most well known people on in the bebo community the rest of the team must be on high allert, wondering who may be next. suspicion has been raised that Dolph-in, the high flying winger at the club, was the hacker but dolph-in denies these claimes.
Karl, famous for his pictures of his "8-pack" changed his sexuality that night from presumibly straight to gay, with many people wondering why? The answer was a hack which many people not realising.
the reasons for the hack, which will surely go down in the history books is still yet unkown, but we are sure that progress will be made in finding the hacker so we may all sleep alittle easier at night
|John /tom /miguel/ gary /xenofen kostandatis ARRESTED||10/12/08|
|In a shock news story today Oulton Raidersnew star signing, John /tom /miguel/ gary /xenofen kostandatis has been arrested on alligations of being involed with an insest relationship. The news was leaked by members of the Oulton squad who believe this type of thing should'nt belong at the club as it shows poor proffesionalism.|
Oulton Raiders have released a statement and have said "we do not know if these alligations are true and at this present moment in time wouldnt like to speculate wether john has or hasnt slept with his cousin, but we are behind john whatever the outcome and will always be welcome back to oulton if he is sent down
constable xenofen kostandatis is leading this case has said " Shagging your own cousin is just wrong and shouldnt be practised under any circumstances"
Tom faces trail in two weeks and faces 6 months insiding meaning he will miss the rest of the season for the struggeling Raiders side.
|Dolph's medical report||10/12/08|
|After months of anticipation, Dolphs medical tests are now in|
Dolph has requested that the extent of the results are not released to the public, but he has confirmed that he has contracted so many sexually transmitted diseases that he now ejaculates penicilin.
speculation is rife but it is believed the reason behind this is.....
HE IS ALWAYS FUCKING SHAGGING!!!!
|NEWS ON THE NATIONAL FRONT!!!||10/10/08|
|Oulton Raiders are proud to announce that Second Row Aaron 'Tongan Azz' Knowles, Jake 'Dolph' Norton, Ben Cosovan & Ben 'The Dutchman' Wood have been announced in their respective international squads for the world cup in Australia.|
'Its a massive boost and shows that we are in touch with a host of nationalities, the talent pool here is second to none'
The squads are:
|Tongan Az's world cup dream alive?||10/9/08|
|oulton raiders very own Aaron Knowles "tongan az" has been named on stand by for tonga's world cup squad. The 16 year old wonderkid who has been touted by many in the media has the next maurie fa'asavalu could be set to line up for Tonga on the worlds biggest stage.|
If Tongan Az is selected, their could be a club versus country row between the oulton raiders head coach Sir Lee Reed and the Tongan head coach xenofen kostandatis. Aaron could miss up to 5 vital oulton matches if he goes to the world cup and there is question marks on whether he will be alowed to leave for australia.
"tongan az is a vital element to this side and we can't afford to lose him" said a bullish Lee Reed
however tongan az is very excited about the prospect of representing his country
"obviously i dont want to let oulton down, but this is an amazing oppertunity for me to further my career, its always been a lifelong ambition to run out in front of 90,000 roaring spectators in a tongan shirt"
|DAILY MIRROR LINKS HARDENED CAPTAIN TO STANLEY MOVE!!!!!!||10/3/08|
|Today's Daily Mirror sensationally linked Oulton Raiders grizzled Captain Ben Wood with a move to Liverpool side Accrington Stanley.|
According to leaked reports, Wood has already agree'd a 1 year deal for the high flying football team, and has opted to slot in at centre back. This shatters the currently winless Raiders as they go into Sundays battle with Hoyland seeking their first possible win of the season without any leadership.
Accrington stanley head coach Dave Wilson refused to comment on the situation, fuelling the rumor to be even more true although Oulton chief executive Geoff Rush added
"Ben has been at the Raiders for a long time and it is absolutly propostourous that there is even talk of this move. As far as we are concerened he has his contract to run untill March 2009, with a possible view to extension".
|After receiving a narrow defeat at Crigglestone, Raiders Captain Ben Wood talks to OultonRaidersRL.|
We didnt complete our sets really, too many errors on the half way mark and we were bunching around the ruck. Tackling was spot on though, i saw alot of big hits flying about, especially frm the likes of James Green and Ryan McKane! Who also had a solid game at Hooker. The halves worked ok but the forwards were as involved as they should have been. Attack broke down alot and when your defending constantly your on the back foot and you just cant cope. I still think we are in for a good season and can finish strongly, we will put the wrong things right and have another crack at it next Sunday.