"If theres a kink in your hose give it a pull"
|how 2 speeek limerish||7/22/08|
|Please come here, - C'mere I want ya. |
> My runners smell, - Naful smill auf me tackies,
> Sorry I didn't quite catch that, - Oi wat ar u sayin.
> I was slightly drunk, - I was langers last nite.
> How are you ! - How's it goin sham !
> You silly person - Ya goul ya
> You really are a silly person - Ya goul bag.
> I'm afraid that I can't go for that, - I will en me ring
> Let's go out and get drunk - will we go on the batter?
> May I have a bag of chips with garlic dressing - givus a garlic
> You unlawful person - fuckin' scobe
> There was quite a lot of people - there was a rake of people
> Running up the street - burnin' up the road
> Will you make love to me - gifs the ride
> Do you understand me - nowah mean man
> I will fight you - i'll claim ya
> Theres a swimming pool in the house - poolnalnit
> Please leave now - goway ou avit
> Run away now - do a legger man
> Have you got a cigarette - giz a fag boss
> Be quiet - whishtt
> Can you ride a horse - canya jock a horse
> Hello, I met you before in a pub but I can't remember your name -
How we doin Bud.....
> Sorry, I didn't quite catch that - whatru sayin.....
> How are you doing - Well, ow we gettin on
> You are a silly person - u lala
> You really are a silly person - your some lala
> Jennifer, would you come here please - Jen-Fer cmere i
> wan cha
> Lets drive up and down O'Connell Street in our Johnny Go Fast cars at
3.30am with the 1 petrol we have in the car - mon, we go cruisin'.
> If you continue to talk to me in that tone of voice I will hit you
-cape it up now and I'll bust you.
> I can't think of anything to slag you about, but your last comment
was very funny and everyone is now laughing at me - yah, like ur muther!!
|how not 2 get cot!||7/20/08|
|1. COVER YOUR STUMP BEFORE U HUMP |
2. BEFORE U ATTACK HER, WRAP YOUR WHACKER
3. DON'T BE SILLY, PROTECT YOUR WILLY
4. WHEN IN DOUBT, SHROUD YOUR SPOUT
5. DON'T BE A LONER, COVER YOUR BONER
6. YOU CANT GO WRONG, IF U SHIELD YOUR DONG
7. IF YOU'RE NOT GOIN TO SACK IT, GO HOME AND WHACK IT.
8. IF U THINK SHE'S SPUNKY, COVER YOUR MONKEY
9. IF U SLIP BETWEEN HER THIGHS, BE SURE TO CONDOMIZE
10. IT WILL BE SWEETER IF U WRAP YOUR PETER
11. SHE WONT GET SICK IF U WRAP YOUR DICK
12. IF U GO IN TO HEAT, PACKAGE YOUR MEAT
13. WHILE YR UNDRESSING VENUS, DRESS UP YOUR PENIS
14. WHEN U TAKE OFF HER PANTS AND BLOUSE, SLIP UP YOUR TROUSER MOUSE
15. ESPECIALLY IN DECEMBER, GIFT WRAP YOUR MEMBER
16. NEVER,NEVER DECK HER WITH AN UNWRAPPED PECKER
17. DONT BE A FOOL, VULCANIZE YOUR TOOL
18. THE RIGHT SELECTION WILL PROTECT YOUR ERECTION
19. WRAP IT IN FOIL BEFORE CHECKING HER OIL
20. A CRANK WITH ARMOR WILL NEVER HARM HER
21. NO GLOVE, NO LOVE