Emma Jay -Xo <xXxlil_yabboxXx>

"You Razzle Dazzle My Fantazmagazle . xX"

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TenTooOne -Ox7/16/08
 
TEN random things about me.

1. I love big sun glasses.
2. I have a massive phobia of fish eww they scare me
3. Got 3 piercings..
4. Want ma tongue pierced but trippin out about it hahaa.
5. Lovee The Jeremy Kyle show =].
6. Want to become a Famous Hairdresser later on in life.
7. Have a maaaasive shoe collection.
8. Love tha colour pink.
9. I shop till i drop.
10. I talk my dog when im alone hahaa

NINE ways to win my heart.

You have to beee..

1. Caring
2. Honest
3. Considerate
4. Fun
5. Willing to take a joke
6. Niiice
7. A shoulder to cry on if needed
8. Help me in sticky situations
9. Make me feel the luckiest girl in the world to have you ..<3

EIGHT things i want to do before i die..

1. Win the lottery.
2. Go back to the USA.
3. Look after my mum and dad as much as i can.
4. Own the car of my dreams.
5. Make it obvious that my friends are my world.
6. Learn how to spell hard words hahaha.
7. Get married to the man of my dreams.
8. Children.


SEVEN things that annoy me..

1. When my bank balance is �0.
2. Wen its that time of tha month.
3. Hangoverrrs ergh.
4. Bad hair days.
5. Wen its cold.
6. Wen my friends/family are upset.
7. When my car breaks and you cant drive it :( .

SIX things i really want

1. Own a Amazing car
2. To be rolling in it.
3. To eat chipotle.
4. Cut down on fatty foods.
5. A better paid job.
6. Everyone i know, to be happy =].

FIVE things i am scared of.

1. Loosing friends or family.
2. Fish.
3. Dieing at an early age.
4. To be in debt .
5. Feet

FOUR favourite things i own

1. My phhhonnne.
2. My clothes collection .
3. My shoe collection.
4. My Car =]

THREE things i do each day

1. Do my hair & makeup
2. Meet friends
3. Drive

TWO things i want to do right now

1. Sleep =[
2. Go shopping.

ONE confession

1. hmmmmm

Loveagee..

..Ox;
 0 Comments 
Glawster Speak Mind ;)3/4/08
 
Quite funny


Glouucester Speak......sorry if you speak like this.....Honestly I truely am sorry for you. :)


funny mind, ennit my babbers Welcome to Glawster The first point all visitors must learn is that this is not Glouucester at all but Glawster, and is situated north of Bristow and south of Chucksbree and Burmagum. The accent is simple and easy to follow, provided you cut out this article and keep it about your person at all times during your visit.


First, transport hints for traveling during your visit here. The best way to get around Glawster is aboard a large vehicle called a buzz. These are found at buzz tops. At a buzz top you ketch yer Buzz.


ATTRACTIONS - Once in the City Centre, known as Up the Town, attractions include the Po Stoffice where you can buy post lorders, stamps etc. Ladies queuing in front of you may be holding children in their arms. These are known as babbiz. The Po Stoffice is open all week Mundee to Sardee, but never on a Sundee. The same is true of Omes Tores, and the well-known Sainsbriz.


Next, food - the correct way of saying hungry is: 'Ant add nutten teat all day' - a suitable reply is 'Ant ya?' To satisfy your hunger you have to find a place where you can get summit teat. When you find one, you say 'yer tiz'. If its a self-service place you greet the owner with the phrase -'ow be?',he will reply, 'Notsa bad, an you?' Indicate the food you want by saying, 'i'll ave some 'o' them chips'. You should always say them instead of 'those' and 'er' instead of 'she'. Hence the phrase 'Er et all them elvers on Sardee'. Similarly 'im is used instead of 'it'. For example, 'werz me wheelbarra? I ad im yesde.'


Questions begin with the words:- Wer? OOOO? Ow? etc. Answers are Tis (positive) and Tent (Negative). The word 'yes' has been abolished in Glawster and replaced by 'Aah'. If a local is not certain whether a thing 'tis' or 'tent' he will be non-committal and say 'spexso, praps, or spose'. In Gloucester you must remember that you never go TO a place but UP it. So you should say 'up the doctors', 'up the library', ' up the vets' and 'up the bingo'. Housewives are often to be seen going up the shops occasionally, words are added to the end of a sentence to form a question such as 'ennit'. Example 'Good up yer ennit?'. Another such word is 'cannus', as in 'can't do tall at once cannus?'.


Quite often the word 'mind' is added at the end of a sentence for emphasis. For example if someone asks you where you are going , you would reply: Q: were ya going A: up town mind The word 'mind' is often used in rugby context for instance: 'ees a big un mind' or 'played well mind' (note rugby is the most widely worshiped religion in Glawster.)


COMPLIMENT - People and things you like should be referred to as 'proper good'. You also use the word 'proper' when you want to emphasise another word, as in 'Them cockles was proper tasty'. Strangely, you can be 'proper drunk' and a 'proper devil' too. If you stop liking someone then you have 'gawn awf' them. Mouldy cheese is also described as 'gawn awf'. If during your visit your health goes awf, be sure to get a doctors sustiffcut. The highest compliment you can pay to people you are fond of is to describe them as 'dead good', 'dead generous' etc. A cheerful youngster is a 'dead appy babee'. It is also possible to be dead lively and dead awake.


Now try these for practice:- I sin im yesdee Me babbiz lost her at. Tent right . Tis! Praps, praps not. Givus un yer. Werya bin? - Werja think? Preferably this should be done late at night, to the noise of car doors slamming and the sound should be loud enough to carry four times around the block. To your 'Ta-laas' they will shout the traditional Gloucester phrase, 'Seeya gen'. Hope you coddit all proper clear - SEEZY ENNIT?
 0 Comments 
some things i wanan do before i die1/23/08
 
Swim With a Shark, Whale or Dolphin
Win an Award, Trophy or Prize
Catch A Fish With Your Bare Hands
Make a Discovery
Throw A House Party When Your Parents Are Out
Be Part Of A Threesome
Learn An Instrument
Leave Your Mark In Graffiti
Meet Someone With Your Own Name
Ride the World's Biggest Rollercoasters
Stage Dive or Crowd Surf
Own a Pointless Collection
Master Poker and Win Big in a Casino
Pull/Shag someone famous
Go Up in a Hot Air Balloon
Get Arrested
Bungee Jump
Sky Dive
Meet Your Idol
Stay in the Best Suite in a Five Star Hotel
Experience Weightlessness
Have sex outdoors
Get to Score a Hole in One
Design Your Own Cocktail
Play a Part in Your Favourite TV Show
Visit Every Country
Make Fire Without Matches
See a Desert Animal in the Wild
Grow Your Own Weed
Be Friends With Your Ex
Hit Your Targets (Firing Range)
Throw a Dart into a Map and Travel to Where it Lands
Attend a Film Premiere
Do a Runner From a Fancy Restaurant
Scuba Dive
Milk a Cow
Be Present When Your Contry Wins the World Cup
Learn Another Language
Complete a Coast to Coast Road Trip Across America
Make at Least One Huge Purchase You Can't Afford
Score the Winning Goal/Try/Basket
Gatecrash A Fancy Party
See the All-time Greatest Films
Live in the Place You Love
Leave a Job You Hate
Take Part in a Police Line-up
Get Away with the Perfect Practical Joke or Hoax
Make the Front Page of a National Newspaper
Drive a Car at Top Speed/ilegally
Shout 'Drinks Are on Me!' in a Pub or Bar
Be Part of a Flash Mob
Visit a Monument From Each Continent
Save Someones Life
In Various Languages, Learn to say Hello, Thankyou, Goodbye, Please, Insult and Swear
Invent a Word That Makes it into the Dictionary
Have Adventurous Sex
Have Enough Money to Do All the Things on This List
Learn to Fly a Plane
Get a Tattoo and/or a Piercing
Drink a Vintage Wine
Spend Christmas on the Beach
Get Barred From a Pub or Bar
Build Your Own House
Skinny Dip at Midnight
Sell all Your Junk on eBay and Make a Profit
Visit the World's Tallest Buildings
Run a Marathon
Conquer Your Fear
Get Married Unusually
Cook a Three Course Meal
Own an Original Work of Art
Get Something Named After You
Get Revenge
Be an Extra in a Film
Live Out of a Van/caravan
Confess
Reach 100 Years of Age
Continue Your Gene Pool
 0 Comments 
my music life story1/6/08
 
IF MY LIFE WAS A MOVIE, WHAT WOULD THE SOUNDTRACK BE?

So, here's how it works:
1. Open your library (iTunes, Winamp, Media Player, iPod, etc)
2. Put it on shuffle
3. Press play
4. For every question, type the song that's playing
5. When you go to a new question, press the next button
6. Don't lie and try to pretend you're cool!


Opening Credits:
Tweet - Oops Oh My


Waking Up:
Ja Rule - Livin' It Up


First Day At School:
Ice Cube - You Can Do It


Falling In Love:
Shayne Ward - Until You


Fight Song:
Pharrell - Number One


Breaking Up:
Sean Kingston - Me Love


Prom:
Eminem - Without Me


Life:
Ida Corr - Let Me Think About It


Mental Breakdown:
Lemar - Be Faithful


Flashback:
The Vogue - Another Night


Getting Back Together:
Timbaland - Bombay


Wedding:
Lemar - Beauty Queen


Birth of Child:
Nelly - N Dey Say


Final Battle:
Ludacris - Phat Rabbit


Death Scene:
Q Tip - Breath And Stop


Funeral Song:
Natasha Bedingfield - Still Here


End Credits:
Lloyd Banks - You
 0 Comments 
HOW TO TURN DOWN UNWANTED MEN!! HAHAHA1/4/08
 
WAYS TO TURN DOWN UNWANTED MEN!!!! and SHE HES.....LOL

HE : Can I buy you a drink?
SHE : Actually I'd rather have the money.

HE : I'm a photographer. I've been looking for a face like yours.
SHE : I'm a plastic surgeon. I've been looking for a face like yours.

HE : Hi. Didn't we go on a date once? Or was it twice?
SHE : Must've been once. I never make the same mistake twice.

HE : How did you get to be so beautiful?
SHE : I must've been given your share.

HE: Will you go out with me this Saturday?
SHE : Sorry. I'm having a headache this weekend.

HE : Your face must turn a few heads.
SHE : And your face must turn a few stomachs.

HE : Go on ,don't be shy. Ask me out.
SHE : Okay, get out.

HE : I think I could make you very happy.
SHE : Why? Are you leaving?

HE: What would you say if I asked you to marry me?
SHE : Nothing. I can't talk and laugh at the same time.

HE : Can I have your name?
SHE : Why? Don't you already have one?

HE : Shall we go see a movie?
SHE : I've already seen it.

HE: Where have you been all my life?
SHE : Hiding from you.

HE : Haven't I seen you some place before?
SHE : Yes. That's why I don't go there anymore.

HE :Is this seat empty?
SHE : Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.

HE : So, what do you do for a living?
SHE : I'm a female impersonator.

HE : Hey baby, what's your sign?
SHE : Do not enter.

HE : Your body is like a temple.
SHE :Sorry, there are no services today.

HE : If I could see you naked, I'd die happy.
SHE : If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.
 0 Comments 
When girls don't put out!!12/16/07
 

This was written by a guy ... it's pretty damn smart.

Girls -- Please have a sense of humor!

I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart.

FOR EXAMPLE:

One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, 'I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me.'

I said, 'WHAT??!! What was that?!'

So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear...

'You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man.'

She responded to my puzzled look by saying, 'Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?'

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.

The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take, so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said, 'Lets get a pair for each outfit.'

We went on to the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you... she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis.

I think I threw her for a loop when I said, 'That's fine, honey.' She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation, she finally said, 'I think this is all
dear, let's go to the cashier.'

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, 'No honey, I don't feel like it.'

Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled, 'WHAT?'

I then said, 'Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman.'

And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, 'Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?'

Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either....but at least that bitch knows I'm smarter than her.


Alright Ladies. Forward this if you agree. Hell even if you disagree, forward it anyway.

Men, forward this if you have BALLS !!!!
 0 Comments 
Girls We Can Never Win && This is Why...11/29/07
 
1. If you dress nicely, he says youre a snob If you dress sexy, he says youre a slut



2. If you argue with him, he says youre stubborn, If youre quiet, he says youre stupid



3. If you call him, he says youre needy and clingy. If he calls you, he says you should be grateful



4. If you dont love him, hell try to win you If you love him, hell leave you.



5. If you dont fuck him, hell say you dont love him, If you do, hell say youre easy.



6. If you tell him your problems, hell say youre irritating, If you dont, hell say you dont trust him.



7. If you lecture him, hell say youre bitchy, If he lectures you, its because he cares.



8. If you break a promise, you cant be trusted, If he breaks it, he had to If you cheat, you expect it to be over If he cheats, he expects to be given another chance



Either way. You Nver Win
 0 Comments 
What Goes Threw A Girls Head When We Are Drunk!! Haha11/21/07
 
1. WE HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO IDEA WHERE OUR PURSE IS.

2. WE BELIEVE THAT DANCING WITH OUR ARMS OVERHEAD AND WIGGLING OUR
BUTT WHILE YELLING "WOO-HOO!" IS TRULY THE SEXIEST DANCE MOVE AROUND.

3. WE START CRYING AND TELLING EVERYONE WE SEE THAT WE LOVE THEM SOOOOO MUCH.

4. IN OUR! LAST TRIP TO THE TOILET, WE REALIZE THAT WE NOW LOOK MORE LIKE
A HOMELESS HOOKER THAN THE GODDESS WE WERE JUST FOUR HOURS AGO.

5. WE DROP OUR 3:00 A.M. KEBAB ON THE FLOOR (WHICH WE'RE EATING EVEN THOUGH WE ARE NOT THE LEAST BIT HUNGRY), PICK IT UP AND CARRY ON EATING IT

6. WE'VE SUDDENLY DECIDED THAT WE WANT TO KICK SOMEONE'S ASS AND
HONESTLY BELIEVE WE COULD DO IT TOO.

7. WE GET EXTREMELY EXCITED AND JUMP UP AND DOWN EVERY TIME A NEW SONG PLAYS BECAUSE "OH MY GOD! I LOVE THIS SONG!"

8. WE'VE FOUND A DEEPER/SPIRITUAL SIDE TO THE RANDOMER SITTING NEXT TO US

9. THE MAN WE'RE FLIRTING WITH USED TO BE OUR 5TH YEAR TEACHER.

10. THE URGE TO TAKE OFF ITEMS OF CLOTHING, STAND ON A TABLE AND
SING OR DANCE BECOMES STRANGELY OVERWHELMING TO US.

11. OUR EYES JUST DON'T SEEM TO WANT TO STAY OPEN ON THEIR OWN SO
WE KEEP THEM HALF CLOSED AND THINK IT LOOKS EXOTICALLY SEXY.

12. WE'VE SUDDENLY TAKEN UP SMOKING AND BECOME REALLY GOOD AT IT.

13. WE YELL AT THE BARTENDER, WHO WE BELIEVE CHEATED US BY GIVING
US JUST LEMONADE, BUT THAT'S JUST BECAUSE WE CAN NO LONGER TASTE THE VODKA.

14. WE THINK WE ARE IN BED, BUT OUR PILLOW FEELS STRANGELY LIKE THE KITCHEN FLOOR

15. WE START EVERY CONVERSATION WITH A BOOMING, "Im not being funny...BUT..."

16. WE FAIL TO NOTICE THAT THE TOILET LID'S DOWN WHEN WE SIT ON IT.

17. OUR HUGS BEGIN TO RESEMBLE WRESTLING TAKEDOWN MOVES.

18. WE ARE TIRED SO WE JUST SIT ON THE FLOOR (WHERE EVER WE HAPPEN TO BE STANDING!) AND TAKE A QUICK NAP.

19. WE BEGIN LEAVING THE BUTTONS OPEN ON OUR BUTTON FLY PANTS TO CUT DOWN ON THE TIME WE'RE IN THE BATHROOM AWAY FROM OUR DRINK.

20. WE TAKE OUR SHOES OFF BECAUSE WE BELIEVE IT'S THEIR FAULT THAT
WE?RE HAVING PROBLEMS WALKING STRAIGHT.
 0 Comments 
Macx! - Hes For Sale!!10/31/07
 

for loan or possible sale

13.3hh rising 10 done all pc activities including camp, mounted games, team jumping and local competitions. jumping 3ft could jump higher in better condition and with the right rider. needs experinced rider to reach full potentiol. garanteed clear does very well in hunter trials and has been placed in showjumping at 3ft. will be very sadly missed only 5* home.


 0 Comments 
Try This Shit Out!! It Rele Works!!10/26/07
 
TRY THIS OUT (=o).:.:.:.:.O THIS:.:.:.:.:. AMAZINGLY ACCURATE
Whatever you do, don't cheat!


FOLLOW THE INSTRUCTIONS -
DO NOT CHEAT
OR IT WON'T WORK AND
YOU WILL WISH YOU HADN`T.

TAKE 3 MINUTES
TRY THIS - IT WILL FREAK YOU OUT.





NO CHEATING !!!!





THIS GAME HAS A FUNNY / CREEPY OUTCOME.




DO NOT READ AHEAD, JUST DO IT.



IT TAKES ABOUT 3 MINUTES - WORTH A TRY


1st. Get PEN and PAPER



2nd. WHEN CHOOSING NAMES, MAKE SURE THEY ARE REAL PEOPLE THAT YOU ACTUALLY KNOW



3rd. GO WITH YOUR FIRST INSTINCTS !!!!! Very important for good results.


4th. SCROLL DOWN
ONE LINE AT THE TIME
DON`T READ AHEAD
otherwise
YOU WILL RUIN THE FUN.







1. On a blank sheet of paper, WRITE NUMBERS 1 to 11 in a COLUMN on the LEFT.










2. BESIDE the NUMBERS 1 & 2,
WRITE DOWN ANY
2 NUMBERS YOU WANT.



DO YOU HAVE A FAVORITE NUMBER?









3. BESIDE the NUMBERS 3 & 7,
WRITE DOWN THE NAMES OF TWO MEMBERS
OF THE OPPOSITE SEX.










CAUTION: DO NOT LOOK AHEAD or IT WILL NOT TURN OUT RIGHT










4. WRITE ANYONES NAME
(like FRIENDS or FAMILY...)
next to 4, 5, & 6.








DON`T CHEAT OR YOU`LL BE UPSET THAT YOU DID









5. WRITE down FOUR SONG TITLES in 8, 9, 10, & 11












6. Finally,
MAKE A WISH











ARE YOU READY?
HERE IS THE
KEY TO THE GAME








1. THE NUMBER of PEOPLE YOU MUST TELL ABOUT THIS GAME is found in
SPACE 2




2. THE PERSON IN SPACE
3 IS THE ONE YOU LOVE





3. THE PERSON YOU LIKE but your relationship CANNOT WORK is in
SPACE 7





4. YOU CARE MOST about the PERSON you put in
SPACE 4






5. THE PERSON YOU NAME IN NUMBER 5 IS THE ONE WHO
KNOWS YOU VERY WELL.






6. THE PERSON YOU NAMED IN 6 IS THE YOUR
LUCKY STAR






7. THE SONG IN 8 IS THE SONG THAT MATCHES WITH THE
PERSON IN NUMBER 3





8. THE TITLE IN 9 IS THE SONG FOR THE
PERSON IN 7






9. THE 10TH SPACE IS THE SONG THAT TELLS YOU MOST ABOUT
YOUR MIND





10. AND 11 IS THE SONG TELLING HOW YOU
FEEL ABOUT LIFE





11. NUMBER 1 IS YOUR
LUCKY NUMBER





PUT THIS ON YOUR SITE
WITHIN AN HOUR OF READING THIS.


IF YOU DO, YOUR WISH WILL COME TRUE.

IF YOU FAIL TO, IT WILL BECOME THE OPPOSITE
 0 Comments 
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