Diarmid Murphy <Murph_100>

"Fail To Prepare,, Prepare To Fail"

unreal haha5/9/10
 
She had a face on her like a well slapped arse
>
>You're as welcome as a fart in a spacesuit
>My mouth's as dry as a nun's crack
>He has rubber-lined pockets so he can steal soup
>He thinks manual labour is a Spanish musician
>
>As funny as a burning orphanage
>
>He's so camp, he sh1ts tent pegs
>
>I'm as sick as a plane to Lourdes
>
>I feel like a boiled sh1te (hungover)
>
>(when leaving) I'm off like a debs dress
>She had a face on her that would drive rats from a barn
>
>As busy as the dalkey dole office
>
>Sweatin' like a paedophile in a Barney suit
>
>As tight as a nun's knickers
>
>I'm so horny I'd get up on the crack of dawn
>
>I'd crawl a million miles across broken glass to kiss the exhaust of
>the
>van that took her dirty knickers to the laundry.
>
>Up and down like a hoor's knickers
>
>No show pony but would do for a ride around the house
>
>Did your mother find out who your father is yet?
>
>What would ye expect from a pig but a grunt?
>
>I left her with a face like a painters radio
>
>A mickey the size of a double-value can of Right Guard
>
>Jaysus, she could breastfeed a cr?che
>
>As fit as a butcher's dog
>
>She's got more chins than a Chinese phone book
>
>Not even the tide would take her out
>
>Mother Teresa wouldn't kiss her
>
>Daz wouldn't shift her
>
>Des Kelly wouldn't lay her
>
>A sniper wouldn't take her out
>
>Jaysus, ya wouldn't ride her into battle
>
>If I'd a bag of bruised willies I wouldn't give her one
>
>She has a face on her like a bulldog that's just licked piss off a
>
>nettle
>
>She wouldn't get a kick in a stampede
>
>She had a f@nny like a badly packed kebab
>
>If I'd a garden full of mickeys I wouldn't let her look over the wall
>
>Give her a boot in the arse and a bucket of mickeys would fall out of
>
>her
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