Anna Taheri. <BetrayedBeautyxo>
|True Story: Silent Cries||4/12/12|
|When I was five, I wanted to be a doctor. When I was ten I wanted to be a fashion designer instead. My goal was different from everyone else, a goal I kept to myself and no one else.. It was to be happy. Most people wouldn't understand why if I said it. I would rather by happy than miserable in life. When I started high school, I felt like the world. I felt like I could do anything, be anything. I felt happy. When I was in Year 10, I knew I didn't have long until I would be leaving. I felt the pressure, but told myself I could do it. I did have subjects I didn't get good grades in, so I made a promise to myself I would try to do better in my final year for my final grades. I knew I should have done in my younger years, the years of starting high school but I was young and only thought about happiness. Finally I'm in my final year, Year 11. I used to feel like the world, but I feel pressure, pain, sadness and guilt. So much had gone by and I wished time would go past and forward at the same time. I wanted to go back, feel what I wanted to feel when I was younger, I didn't want to feel pressure any more. I wanted to go forwards, to see what I will become, if I will feel happiness, to see happiness in a family that I would soon create. I wanted to see who I would fall in love with, I wanted to see what I felt. I look up to my mother, she screams at me, she shouts at me. "If only you took care in your appearance." I was ugly. "If you could load some weight..'' I was fat. I looked at myself in the mirror, seeing who I've become. I wanted to tell myself, i'm unique in my own way and love who you are. Suddenly, I remembered about what I had seen on the internet. A quote, something I found inspiring a year ago. "Everyone is beautiful." It lied. I wasn't beautiful. Remembering what my mother had said to me realise who I really am. I thought I could live in happiness. I wanted to succeed what I wanted when I was little.. To be happy. I hear my family leave, I sit in my room and hear them back their bags, there conversation, their laughter and the keys. I knew they were only going to the shops, but I felt like they were leaving me forever, leaving me to be all alone and discover the world on my own without anyone by my side. I whisper to myself as the door shut, I whisper something that would only be heard by myself and no one else. "Goodbye.'' I straightened my hair, watching myself in the mirror. Is it true? Am I ugly? Am I fat? I wanted to be an individual person, someone who stands out from the rest. I look at myself as I was finally finished. As I tidied my room, I wanted someone to wrap their arms around me from behind, place their soft lips upon my head and tell me everything will be alright. I know i'll be alone, I know I won't find love. But what stings me most of all is that I know I won't find happiness. I thought if I try and try, i'll succeed. Instead, I look down at myself and think, who actually does care? Who cares about my feelings? Who cares that I won't feel happiness in my future? I hear the door close, signalling they are back. I find myself sitting on my floor, in the corner of the room. My door opens and I turn my head to see who it was. My dad stands there with a smile upon his face. "Are you okay?" His question dug deep into my mind. Was I okay? I look up at him, forcing a smile upon my own face. "Yes." |
|my rant blog.||2/7/10|
|R E P L I E S|
please, oh please don't pest me about replies. I'm not forgetting you, I'll know who I owe. I'll either be wanting to talk to JUST my other half because.. Well, I want to! And if I do selective replies, don't be offended, I will reply to you in the end anyway. But I will ignore you/delete you if you pester on about when your reply will be done or if you really are just a crappy roleplayer. But if you just comment saying: hi ?? Hello, do you think i'll reply to you?
ADDING / ACCEPTING
okay yes, I will add people if my muse is low. Though i add you, I will start. -but I will want to know about your character to pitch up a starter. And if you add me, well, it's obvious you'll start, but I will help you because I am a general nice person.
P I C T U R E S
please don't copy mine. I didn't take them from google, I easily screen capped them from one of my favourite videos on YouTube. But I'm not going to tell you who my image is, that'd be copying my image idea since I'm the only one with the girl I'm using - though I'm thinking about using Victoria justice.. The girl I'm using as the image for my character is unique, find out for yourself.
I admit, I will change my top friends in random times - only because if you stop talking to me, I'll automatically take you out of it. Yeah, I may be mean here, but that's the truth. Oh and PLEASE don't ask to be in my top friends, I'll automatically delete you without a warning. So this section here is a warning to everyone here.
B A C K G R O U N D STORY.
okay, I like to create dramatic back stories for my characters, it's more fun for roleplay. Is that a crime? Oh and don't steal any of the characters background please, just get inspiration from horror movies or thriller movies, that's what I done with my character here.
hmm.. I think that's all for now. I'll update whatever if I come over anything.