She came to me like a feather on the breeze warm and gentle her soft skin was in stark contrast to my work hardened, callused and leathery hands. Her voice quietly powerful. The words were spoken as if they were a melody. yet Their effect was still to be felt.....

Changes ensued, having been triggered by the presence the words and the feelings.... the emotions stirred as if they were heated and stirred in a cauldron, bring primed for something more. I gave to that relationship every little bit of time possible like I never had before, I became man possessed.

The past had left scarring in my beloveds heart and soul. As if I were a doctor I tended to her best I could. Constantly renewing and reinforcing my commitment her and improving her life. Something had slipped into my system a foreign feeling and emotion, for as she had disarmed me and my armor stripped bare of me she cultured this until it was coursing through me affecting every facet of my life providing an innate focus for my work.

She improved so far in so little time it was almost astounding to the point of showing me the world that was still to come. The first time we kissed, I knew I never wanted to kiss any other lips but hers again, the feeling and emotion that had been induced, bonded and became one now controlling my every action, my thoughts never straying far from her.

Needless to say the foreign body now raging through my veins like a satellite on re-entry was my first experience with the Love paradigm. It brang a calm to me and helped me grow.

She soon took to the winds and soared like an eagle hunting prey ranging far and wide. She came back to me only once after that as my time in the sun was coming to and end, I could smell the change of the atmosphere, choosing to note it rather than panic.

She quickly grew restless as she had matured so fast. Sensing the threat this I let her go in my mind. Eventually she let me down easily not aware I had been fully aware of all her activity beyond my field of vision. The change in her intensified and she, now set free took from her perch and took off with gusto into the wind, off into the distance.

Another season had come and as fast as she had come she left. My calm resignation to this did little help, I found myself far from home, facing all things alone. In my tangled state of mind I’ve been looking back to find where I went wrong... only to find she’s headed for disaster, she never read the signs. For too much love will kill you Every time.

I’m just a shadow of the person I used to be made by upheavals of the past and shaped by the present, just the scattered remains of the laughter, bringing nothing else but pain. The intellect separated and nurtured within. the armour used to shield me evaporated and emotions and thoughts flooded through me as if the Hoover damn had broken inside of me something had given way.

Whatever is left of me I am hers. before she happened to me I had indeed been all alone for far too long.... giving nothing but this answer it seems like there’s no way out from here for me for every way I find myself bound to lose. Too much love will kill you just as is sure as i have none at all.

With nothing left to lose, I ponder this how would it be if she were in my shoes? Pain had my number it drove me through my life, a victim of her crimes. you wont understand this but i would’ve given my life or sell my soul and here it comes again the bitter tears running down my face at an unbelievable pace, I’ve never cried so hard in my life. She used to bring me sunshine and now all I want to do is bring her down. My first love left me....

Left me feeling like an old man befriending his death. This entire experience has left me withered. There was much love but she now she’s with another man.
For I’m the Jaded Lover, trying to leave the love behind and if I can’t make up my mind I’ll be stuck here forever, a phantom to the choir.

recently i started putting in the ground work to revive a preserved LAN party (xlans)
and increase the integration of StreetGeek LAN.

the former has been a success and now the former LPC group wants to merge with our group. i say Yes!.

Reloaded is just 7 days away!
can't wait for this.....
My new box will be there ready to rock and roll.
For more information on the reloaded festival please go to: www.reloadedlan.com